===== Puff Saunders =====
//"Puff has been missing for 5 days... We've been looking for him nonstop, I've been putting reports out, and we still haven't found him"// Josh giving an update on the search effort for Puff
^ Puff Saunders |
| {{ :characters:9237498237432.png?400 |}} |
| **Alias(es):** Puffers, Puff-Puff |
| **Gender:** Male |
| **Nationality:** American |
| **Status:** Missing, presumed deceased |
| **Species:** Bearded Dragon |
| **Owner:** [[characters:kingcobrajfs|Josh Saunders]], [[characters:Homeboy Ian|Homeboy Ian]] (formerly) |
| **Sagas:** [[sagas:The Puff Saga]] |
**Puff Saunders** was the former bearded dragon of KingCobraJFS, a gift to him from his longtime friend and occasional felon Ian. Despite having no real ability with animals and a duster-blasted brain, Josh would put in a significant(see: Any at all) effort to make Puff's life a nice one.
----
==== Background ====
A day before Valentine's Day in 2023, Josh would have his friend and DUI elemental Homeboy Ian over to hang out. However, Ian would bring him a surprise: A bearded dragon by the name of Puff. As Ian handed him over for inspection, Josh's demeanor would immediately change: Truly, a lizard-man like Cobes immediately felt a kindred spirit with this cold-blooded bearded dragon. Going so far as to give him a smooch, Josh would let him hang out on the Dead Dog Chair while hanging out with his homie.
About 2 months later during a KFC food review, Josh would float the idea of adopting an animal to his viewers, not long before deciding "I'ma do what I do" and saying he just needed to run the idea past [[characters:Clint Saunders|"The higher-ups"]] first. Roughly a week later, Josh would go live showing off his new pet, none other than Puff himself. In the stream, Josh would proudly show off the enclosure he had for Puff and generally talk about how "easy he is to take care of" and only took him out of the cage once before exploring the apartment. This habit of letting him out, this would have LASTING consequences.
==== Living with Cobra ====
Puff's life with Josh was fraught with highs and lows only a half-brain-dead idiot like Josh is capable of. While Josh did offer him a lot of food, snacks, kept a heat lamp on for him, and generally did his best to keep Puff happy in his own misguided way.
However, Josh has a long history of not really understanding how humans and animals are any different, and would be fairly neglectful in other ways: Instead of having the heat lamp necessary for Puff to survive in cold temperatures(due to his cold-blooded nature) on a timer to regularly give off heat, Josh would leave it on 24/7, which can be extremely dangerous for cold-blooded lizards.
Trolls would also attempt to get Puff taken away by posting a fake Craigslist ad for a "Free bearded dragon to good home", which would lead to random strangers showing up to Josh's door, inquiring about the bearded dragon.
==== Visits from Animal Control ====
|{{:characters:free_puff_doodt.png?400|}}\\ Josh attempts to explain the situation on the Metro Animal Control Facebook page|
In June, Josh would receive a visit from the Casper Metropolitan Animal Control Services, as they would be quite routinely called under the potential pretense of animal abuse. Josh would weather this storm surprisingly well, ranting about how his Troles have lost once more. Animal Control would tell Josh that he's a "Happy and handsome bearded dragon". Pressed for details, Animal Control would respond in a phone call as such:
//"Hi, this message is for [REDACTED]: This is [REDACTED] with Metro Animal Services. I just wanted to let you know that I did do a welfare check on that bearded dragon. Um. I'm gonna be completely honest with you, that cage is better cleaned than 90% of the animals that I deal with on a pretty much weekly basis. Um, yes, there's some dead bugs in there and yes, there's some wilted lettuce, but I mean, the lettuce is not rotting and there's no odor or anything like that. Um, I did give the owner some tips on how to care for his animal because whoever he got it from did not take care of it very well. So I did let him know it needs a soak and some extra calcium powder and he was totally on board with my suggestions. Um, as of right now it was more of an education thing than an actual animal cruelty because the the lizard is for all intents and purposes a healthy animal. Um, if you have any questions or concerns you're more than welcome to call me back at [REDACTED]. And I hope you have a wonderful day. Thank you."//
Josh claims that Metro would not be visiting again. Whether or not this was the case, Josh would remain furious about his trolls for months to come, looping incessantly about the event.
==== Allegations of Neglect ====
One concern that would surface during Puff's tenure at the Bog Den would come from notable Cobraverse contributor [[characters:SeizureRobot5000]], [[https://youtu.be/o1q31m6862M?t=103|who expressed concern of Josh's use of the 100 Watt heat lamp:]] Instead of cycling the heat lamp to be on and off, Josh was very likely leaving it on 24/7. Because bearded dragons(And all cold-blooded mammals for that matter) are capable of regulating their own temperature, they do not require heat at all times. As a result, Puff could be seen changing color to a distressing off-white, closely associated with the bearded dragon being overheated. One can actually see Puff twitching while sitting in his water bowl, clearly in some form of distress.
Unsurprisingly, Josh was absolutely awful at cleaning Puff's tank. It should come as no surprise to anyone that has watched Josh for extended periods of time that a man who chooses to live in such squalor would be horrendous at cleaning a lizard's tank. The state of his tank would get worse and worse as time progressed.
Perhaps most heinous of all, Josh would admit to "getting Puff stoned" by blowing weed smoke into his enclosure, which could have killed him due to the difference in volume.
==== Puff is Missing ====
One November day during a smoke break, Josh would step outside with Puff to have a cigarette and enjoy the verdant and picturesque Wyoming scenery. However, Josh would make a critical mistake, and forget to put his boots on. Seizing the opportunity, Puff would scuttle away into the grass, and by the time Josh had returned to the smoking area properly shod, Puff was nowhere to be found.
Josh had to act fast. He couldn't let the trolls know he had let Puff run away. He needed to lie.
Going to Facebook, Josh would leave a comment on a Casper lost pets group saying he had lost his bearded dragon somehow. For the next several days, Josh would post a slew of videos speaking about how he had lost Puff, although never explaining exactly what had transpired.\\
It would be several years before the truth came out, and until then, Josh would act like Puff was just in hibernation, and would return after winter was over. This would not happen, and after Josh's [[sagas:The second eviction saga|second eviction]] it was safe to say that we would never see Puff again, perhaps for the best.
==== Epilogue ====
Although it would be years before we got an actual answer from him on it, Josh would relent on his cope of "He's just burrowed underground for winter" some time in [[sagas:The trailer saga]] when lightly drunk on a stream, he divulged that he had given up on Puff ever returning, and knew in his heart of hearts the good boy was dead.
During [[sagas:The Wasted Saga]], Josh would upload an old video of Puff to his alternate YouTube Channel, titled "Puff kicks ass". While it is unknown why he did so, it's worth mentioning that Josh still keeps the bearded dragon's enclosure in the kitchen of his trailer, ever hopeful that one day the best pet he ever had will come back to him.
===== Sources used =====
"[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Sn1_U-FZ4g|In Memory of Puff the Bearded Dragon]]" by Boglim Chronicles \\
[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1q31m6862M|Snake Bones Podcast #23: Pet Peeves]] by [[characters:SeizureRobot5000]]
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