====== Drink review and rant ======

**Original Video:** [[https://youtu.be/XY-SLCSBAek|Drink review and rant]]

===== Transcript =====

What's up you fucking bastards? King Cobour back at it with another video. Arizona is getting into the market of adult beverages. So we're going to try this for you on camera just to see how it tastes. This one happens to be peach flavored so I know I'm going to like it. Hold up. Oh, that is good. Oh, that is good. Uh, ha ha. You must be 21 plus years to enjoy this beverage. It says on the side of the can, like that stopped anyone. But yeah, this doesn't even taste like alcohol, dude. This takes straight up, tastes like fucking tea, dude. Oh, a premium spiked beverage, hard, real, brewed, iced tea with peach. contains 5% alcohol by volume original from Arizona another sponsor. That tastes like tea too. It don't even taste like alcohol so these are these these would be pretty easy to chug and they'd seek up on you too because of the how smooth they are. But I got you on camera not just for the review here, this teaskeene, the cobra, the silver approval, Spongitie, Governor. dating, it sucks. When you actually have somebody you connect with, it's awesome, but when you... When you're single or when you're in a crappy relationship, you're like, ugh. So I'm going to say some things to help my fellow adults out feel a little less shitty about the situation. We have to examine double standards when it comes to women and men. For example, if men are not getting laid, we're in-cell shame for it, fucking cell culture. If we try to get laid, we're called simps. And there's a big difference between trying to get laid and sacrificing your self-respect for some pussy. And I'm like, okay, do not sacrifice your self-respect, thank you. your self-respect thank you to give it out or as men are expected to get it. And I'm like, fuck that. Okay, just because you take a woman out for a bite to eat doesn't mean she owes you shit except me, you know, she had a good time, you know, you liked the conversation. You know what I'm saying? I'm sure you're anxious to be kissing on her and all that. Maybe you're squeezing some boobs, but here's the thing of of a slick. Slow down! Elbus Presley said it. Only... Only fools rush in, you you, shall I stay? Would it be a sin? Oh, thank you very much. Oh, thank you very much. Huh! Oh, thank you very much. Oh! Oh! I don't think I can sing like Elvis Presley and Johnny Cash, no big deal. Like where's my record deal? Oh wait, thanks Deathbed Tapes. So I want to tell you something here, fellas, if you're not getting laid, it's not the end of the fucking world. Ladies, if you're not getting any duck or pussy, whatever you're into, it's not the end of the world there are people out there who are dying in third world countries of starvation and AIDS and you're pissed off because you're not getting your dick wet oh my god you poor little baby wam and this is how they society controls us they make you feel like a fucking loser if you don't have anyone. And then, on top of that, you know what I'm saying? Oh, it's completely unfair because they expect women to give you sex and it's like, on top of that, women are overly sexualized in our society and I hate it. It ain't right. I think about all the awesome women in my life and it's just like that's why I'm saying it dude. Like, fuck off with it. Women are held to a higher beauty standard than men. Most people don't give a shit of men or fat, hairy and gross. That's just what it is. But it's gotten so bad that there are some women, and I shit you not, that are offended by storefront mannequins because they don't represent all body types And I'm like if you're so fucking triggered by how you look that you see a mannequin and you immediately go I hate the way I look and then you need to get some fucking therapy Chika And better yet who gives us shit if you're fat because regrettably food is delicious. Thank you And I'm not going to give anyone shit for that because honestly I see what the fuck I eat I've seen my food hacks grease cheese bacon Yes, please And you may think to yourself. Oh, well'm fat, nobody's going to want me. I'm like, bullshit. Yeah, I'm giving you a Terrence Pop knife hand. Stop it. Stop your fucking minging and knock it off. Fucking have a wink and get over it. That's the wrong fucking attitude to have. You know what I'm saying? You're like I do not need companionship to be happy and if I find it awesome if not that's cool too. You'd be amazed fellas when you rock some tactical soap and you quit giving a shit if you get your dick wet and you're just there for the company to make her laugh. She will feel a lot more comfortable around you because finally, you know, most guys wouldn't care, but like for chicks, it gets really irritating when you're just trying to go to the bar with your galpals, and have a couple drinks, and let loose for the weekend, and like 20 guys are trying to get down your pants. 20 guys that are not qualified trying to get down your pants. and enough Jack Daniels in the world dude oh god that is one ugly look in Biyacha oh god first word out of her mouth is oh god okay so let me ask guys this sincerely how would you feel if like 20 of the ugliest chicks were hitting-- sincerely how would you feel if like 20 of the ugliest chicks were hitting on you right now and you are not into it? You're like... oh but you're not allowed to say anything about it as a dude because if you do your shallow oh... and like you may not like it but women are the only ones allowed to be shallow because they have the vagina. If you have someone sticking a dick inside of you, you think you'd want the same privilege and you know, you want someone to be a bit more compassionate about the whole situation. Uh, from a chick's perspective, and you got some like 200 pounds sweaty, hairy dude, on top of her literally fucking the shit out of her ever, you know, you know, a, a shit out of her out of her shit out of her out of her, a shit out of her, a shit out of her, a shit out of her, a shit out of her, a shit out of her, a shit out of her, a shit out of her, a shit out of her, a shit out of her, a shit out of her, a shit out of her, a shit out of her, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a hairy dude on top of her, literally fucking the shit out of her, you know. Stop slot shaming women for giving out sex and stop expecting women to give you sex or to give it out. Her body, her rights. And if you're a dude, you ain't getting any. Stop in cell shaming dudes for not getting it and stop simp shaming them for trying. I mean, if you're literally going to sacrifice yourself respect for some pussy pussy you're a simp and you deserve to be punched in the balls. Just throwing that word around in general because all they're trying I'm like well what are you supposed to do because it's like it's the art of the fucking dance? And I'm like you know there's nothing wrong. the art of the fucking dance. And I'm like, you know, there's nothing wrong with making your presence knowing the ladies, but you gotta be subtle about it. And here's the thing of it, women, if you want men to reciprocate what you're laying down, you have to be more direct and simple with your communication. Don't just say one thing and then you mean the mean the complete opposite. Like as a dude, whenever chicks do that crap to me, it fucking irritates the count out of me, dude. Like straight up. I mean, yeah, I said it. I mean, yeah, I said it. I'll give you an example. If you go to a fast food restaurant and you pull through a drive-through and you're ordering your food, Hey babe, you want anything? No, I'm not hungry. What she really means is, yes, she's hungry and she wants her usual. But you, the dumb ass guy, ignore it. And you're driving back to your place. Now great, now she just magically changed her mind. Now she's snitching your fries. And the first couple of times it's cute. But by the time you get home, it's like all the fries are gone. It's like, you want my sandwich to go with it? I thought you said you weren't hungry. I'm like nine times out of ten women mean the exact opposite of what they mean. And they said they want assholes, they're full of shit. Women want a man who can have an asshole bad boy attitude but respect women without being a simp. Just figure that out. This is why a lot of chicks dig me because I have that asshole bad boy attitude but I know how to treat women. Without sacrificing my dignity or pride or self-respect thank you very much and what have I said on fucking YouTube wait patiently keep rocking your tactical soap see what happens oh look at that I got a girlfriend oh I don't know if it doesn't suck that it's long distance. Yeah, but I'm willing to make it work. And if Jessica wants to move out to Casper Wyoming, she's going to have to save up a shite ton of money to do it. Like a shite ton of people. And people are blowing up Jessica's chat too, like, are you and Jessica going to get married? And I'm like, could you fucking calm down with that shit? We've barely even started dating. Fucking Christ. Hm-hmm. The best part about dating Jessica other than having her is knowing how much it pisses off my YouTube trolls. And you know they're mad about it because they've done everything they can to try to scare her off. Last time Jessica was here hanging out, they would call the cops on us, the EMTs on us, EMTs banging down my door, and I'm like I'm not fucking dead, could you hold on a fucking minute? And it's like, you know what, I feel sorry for my YouTube trolls, and I'm sorry to the cops and the EMTs here in town have to waste their fucking time on a bullshit call. It's like, do you have a your phone. Oh, you do? Cool. Well, if you look up Jessica's channel or King Cobra's channel, you can see that I'm just fucking fine. I'm sorry, but when you've been fucking for like six days straight, and you're pretty much fucking drained, it's like, well, baby, go ahead and stream on your fucking channel, I'm gonna take a nap. And then when you get done streaming, we can, you know. Boopoo. Oh, is Cobour dead? Oh, I can't tell. I know, it is what it is, because busted, and treats them like shit, and they're stuck in that relationship because of a shitty circumstances. That or every chick they like rejects them too. Instead of being like, oh hey I can relate to Cobra on that. Don't fuck him, it's all his fault. It's like, okay, here's the thing of it's if my YouTube trolls took my cock out of their fucking mouth for five god damn minutes they might be able to find a Jessica of their own if my YouTube trolls literally invested their time and anything as much as they do into harassing and trying to ruin my life and harass people in my life, they could literally have a girlfriend of their own. And they could find some success on YouTube if they tried. But they won't because it requires no work to bully somebody. Especially behind a fucking keyboard. Gavmoselle the dip, God damn it. And you know what Jessica said, right? She's like, that tactical soap smells good. I'm telling you, every woman I've encountered or walked by says, I smell good. Just tactical soap is scientifically formulated to attract a lady....... The other age. The other age. The other age lady. The other age lady. The other. The other. The other. The other. The other. The other. The other. The other. The other. The other. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... You're going out to the club, and going out to the bar. Or maybe you want to spice up your marriage. Check out tactical soap. Check out the optical soap. I got that spittoon. I got the camera prompt up on the spittoon up on it here, so like right in front of it so you can... See my ugly autistic face. That's good hard tea I like it I'm here for it. But they don't even taste like alcohol saw and that just straight up tastes like fucking regular Arizona peach tea. So that they blended it pretty smooth if I do say so myself. So I'm telling you right now, going back to what I was saying, fellas, just because you take a woman out to eat, she does not owe you shit. She don't. Now if you account of the kind of woman who just uses you for foodie dates and fuck other dudes, you're a dumbass for falling for that. But that's neither here and out there. And as soon as you find out that she's doing that kind of crap, then quit taking her out for foodie dates. There are some women who are like that. They will use men for their money and fuck other dudes. And she'll pretend to be interested and casually flirt with you, and it's just enough to send your stupid, stupid, stupid, simple male brain and to overdrive. Oh, she likes me. Mm-hmm. to figure out that men are dumb. That men are dumb full of cum and testosterone. And men who think with their dick often get into lots of trouble and the dick thinking doesn't usually stop until early 30s. But women are going to think with their cuts for the rest of their life. It's called clit thinking and every woman does it. and every woman does it. until early 30s. But women are going to think with their cunts for the rest of their life. It's called clit thinking and every woman does it. Women will think with their vaginas all the time, and it never fails. Case in point, you go to some random barbecue at your buddy's house and your wife sees Trisha at the party and she can't stand Tricia because your wife and Trisha went to the same prom in high school and wore the same dress but everyone said Trisha looked better in it. And now, she can't let it go, 10 years later, it's like... That little slut copied me. Oh my God, she's here. It's like, honey, please, you're at my buddy's barbecue. Just ignore her. And Trisha, of course, at this barbecue, I'm in a forical Tricia of course at this barbecue metaphorical names of course but Tricia sees your wife Cheryl and it's like oh shit and of course your wife says I swear to God she prays up the fucking prom dress I'm gonna smack her and it's like honey could you not make a scene please the thing I noticed about women is they're incredibly caddy towards each other and they will say and talk shit behind each other's back until it which is the bowling boiling point at which point cat fights are breaking out like oh oh shit these bitches ain't playing around some they're putting their hair up they're taking their rings off they're like look at their man going hold my purse god damn it and it's like oh god and meanwhile it damn it. And it's like, oh God. And meanwhile, it's like the other dude is holding Tricia back and you're holding your wife back like because you two stop and this and they're going, I was getting all water down. And that's what separates guys from chicks, man. And that's what separates guys from chicks, man. Is if guys get into an ass kicking fights then they throw it out afterwards and have a beer and get over it but like chicks no they will carry that grudge to their fucking grave dude and it's like if women could just learn to not give a shit about what other women think of them, you would be amazed. Instead, be like, hey, you know what? Women are stronger when they're united together, instead of against each other. All this cat fighting and, know slot shaming and ugh. And why do you think women slot shame other women because they're jealous? It's what it is. It's what it is. They have something in their female brain that makes them look at the woman their slut shaming and they're sickily jealous of her for some odd reason I don't know maybe she's got nicer tits has the, has the titties to fucking pull off her on, you know, like I always tell a man to grow a pair of balls, it's like, okay. Well, maybe she's got the kahone's to fucking, whatever the fuck she wants, and I'll give her shit with anyone things. Mm-hmm. And it's like, you know, being a woman would be so much fucking easier if women can learn to not fucking hate each other. It's what it is. And speaking of women versus men, a lot of women complain that they don't make enough money, that men always make more money. And it's like, well, I could tell you why men make more money than women. because men are expected to pay for everything men are expected to be providers and like women's stuff costs more money. and when it comes to divorce courts 99%.9% of the time, it's always a dude getting slammed with custody payments. So it's like if you want equal pay to men, then maybe we should expect you to pay for everything. Oh, but if we do that, then he's a fucking lousy bomb huh ladies? Yeah. No because that's just it you want to be a girl boss hashtag girl boss, hashtag yas queen, slang, oh my god. And it's like okay well then you can pay for the meal and suck my dick afterwards. How about that? But it doesn't work like that, you too, but like I said, she doesn't owe you shit. You know? Oh, she gave you a hug and said you have, we, she had a nice time with you. Okay, so go home and jack off to it. like, oh yeah, her boobies felt really nice squeezing against my chest. It's what it is, YouTube men are expected to provide and pay for everything. You know, it's just part of our male expectations. And like, and that's just the thing of it. If I see a woman reach for the, reach for the bill, I'll offer to pay for it. And she says, no, I got it. I'm the kind of guy that says, well, can I pay for half of it? You know? Men are the men are the ones that are expected to fight in wars, defend their country, defend their woman, defend their honor, provide for everything, carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, and the second you cry about it, you get called a pussy. And that's why I'm saying like women would hate being treated just like men. They say they want it, but they have no idea what it implies. Now what women really want is all the perks to being a man with none of the bullshit that goes with it. And I say give it to them, so they shut the fuck up about it. Like you want equal pay? That's fine. Here you go. And that's the thing of it. I feel like there are some women you give them what they want and they're still unhappy. It's like, well, what the fuck am I supposed to do? I can't do a damn thing about those kinds of women because that's your own fucking problem But this Arizona Hard Real Brood Peach Ice Tea is simply delicious YouTube. I'm not going to drink anymore after this because it is way too early in the morning for that crap. But I wanted to do a YouTube video and a review on this beverage. As I got a knock on my door yesterday and literally one of my followers just dropped off a bunch of free booze. to my apartment, like cans and a giant thing of vodka, and I'm like you're hilarious I might dude it's 2024 there was no such thing as a girly drink unless you count amaranth making beer out of her vagina yeast light, it'd be minge light. Okay. Instead of bush light, it's just bush. Okay. How many of these jokes can I make? And you know what? More power to Amaranth, dude. If she wants to do it, I say, girl sleigh it. Do it, man. There are chicks who are selling their farts in a jar for a thousand bucks. And I'm like, the men out there are so fucking lonely and so desperate for attention from women that they buy this. And I'm like, what? I mean there are some dudes who have a fart fetish. I think that's weird personally because I think farts are funny like you know farpore is a category and you can't take it seriously because farts are fucking hilarious. You know I saw this one video this chick was all naked, clean the kitchen on her hands in knees talking all dirty and you're like damn this chick's kind of cute and then you start touching yourself like yeah I can get down to this and then she starts farting and like oh you like that daddy that fucking nasty far I made it just for you it's all wet and stinky coming in on my fucking asshole and then you it's like, I go from hard to laughing so hard, I can't finish. Like, what? Why is this a category? That's the kind of fucking shit you said your buddy at work while he's working like, like, like, like, like, Chad, bro, I found this video. Yeah, this chick's kind of... What? Did she just beef it? Oh my god, dude. I don't care. Farts are fucking funny, like... You can act like you go prim and proper, but everybody farts. And if you're not laughing at farting, you're not living life. That's what I'm saying. A well-time fart will bring tears of laughter to people's faces. Like, you know what I'm saying? Or like tears to their face, because it smells like rotting ass, but that's beside the point. Jessica is definitely comfortable enough to fart around me so I'm not complaining. Which brings me to my next point, ladies. Everyone farts. They tell you it's not very lady-like? I tell them to shove it up their ass. fart. Don't hold it in. Let it out. Let that stinky Ashole when they come out. Did you hear about the banker who had too many beans for lunch? Yeah, they started dropping air biscuits. lunch? Yeah, they started dropping air biscuits. And then when it turned into diarrhea, they had to pinch a loaf. All jokes aside, though. going back to what I was saying, yeah, stop pressuring men to get laid. Stop pressuring women to give it out. And if you're not getting any, who cares? Give it time. Give it time and you'll find somebody. And I'm proof of that. I waited six years, six god-dam years without sex, pussy, cuddling, blow jobs, titty fucking, none of that. And it's like, wait patiently enough and see what happens. My body Aaron just broke up with his girlfriend. He came over on, I fixed him a couple drinks and I said, dude, my body Aaron is in the fat chicks. I'm like, dude, there are plenty of them out there that need love. And so you got your, you know. And I'll say this, there ain't nothing wrong with that, man. If you're into fat chicks, hey man, as long as you're old enough in consenting, alive and non-related, go at it, man. Slay it. Because as far as I'm concerned, what two consenting non-nonenting non-non-non-related-related-related- Go at it man, slay it. Because as far as I'm concerned, what two consenting non-related alive of age adults do in the privacy of their own home is none of my business. You see these fucking assholes who get offended by homosexual? They're just like, you know, these homophobic dudes? And I got a theory on that. It's just a theory. If you're a dude and you're super homophobic, you're either gay or you're just mad because you're not getting your dick sucked. You see a homophobic asshole who lives in Wyoming? They're so perturbed about two dudes sucking each other off, but they look but at the same time they love eating Rocky Mountain oysters. I'm like, wait a minute. No, I get it. I get why you think it's gross? Because two dudes just... No. Nope. Now if we're talking two chicks... Because, you know, lesbian porn... Yeah. That's what got me through my fucking dry spells watching fucking lesbian porn. You know what I'm saying? Like why the fuck what I want to stare with someone else's dick getting it when I'm not getting any? Just doesn't do it for me man. You get like two stupid hot lesbians with fucking shaped pussies and fucking big old titties Yeah And like the scripts and pornos are so fucking cheesy. It's like no one cares about the script We just want to see them rub clams together together. Stick it up her knickers Mrs. Rub minjons together. Now speaking of Amaranth making her own vagina beer I'm like I made a joke out of that I'm like could you make wine and meat out of vagina yeast or what they call that a minge Murlott a kunch cabernet why because you'll minge on about it the next day when you have a hangover and because hangovers are our royal cuns. Now but hear me out YouTube for one second here. It is better to be single than it is to be in a relationship where you're not loved, appreciated, or where you're abused. So next time you're minging on because you're single, break the cycle. Dating will be less depressing if you learn to say, you know what? Who fucking cares if I'm single. This can is emptied. And this video is done, son. Let's catch you later.