====== ordering a pizza ======

**Original Video:** [[https://youtu.be/guM5bmb7I0w|ordering a pizza]]

===== Transcript =====

Uh, fellow Yutivers. So guess who has two thumbs and just ordered a pizza? This guy. Now I'm not gonna sit here and order pizza all day every day because that's kind of a waste of money. But needless to say, I had to order at least one pizza, because you know, I like pizza. I like all four of the pizza chains. Domino's Pizza Hut, Papa John's, Little Caesars. Okay? I love the big four. I love pizza. And, uh... I ordered me a dominoes pizza. It has double the cheese, garlic, promosome, white sauce, beef, pepperoni, double the bacon, Philly cheese steak, onions, the spinach, Parmesan white garlic sauce, on a large, hand-toss crust. with two garlic cups. And I also ordered a two liter of I was in fourth grade, it sucks. You know, being told no by every chick you like, it hurts, you know. You get told, oh Josh, you're such a handsome young man. Any girl would be lucky to have you, you're such a handsome young man. Well, do you really feel handsome when every chick you like says no? No you don't. And I have a lot of attractive qualities so I don't see why I can't have a girlfriend. The only reason I haven't had Pussy in two years is because I'm not a player. I'm not. I could get late if I wanted to. I'm a fucking YouTube celebrity. I see what I see the way these local chicks look at me. They're like, hey, that's King Cobra JFS. I love his videos. That dude knows how to treat a lady. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Oh, out for delivery. I'm saying? Yeah. Hoh-huh. Out for delivery. I'll be right back. One second YouTube. Thank you to Domino's for providing the pizza. Thank you to Domino's for providing the pizza. Of course I had to pay for it, not a sponsor, not a sponsor. They're one of my favorite pizzas. Something about Domino's hand toss crust and their garlic white promissons sauce. YouTube. I'll be right back. I want to fuck the chips that rejected me. I'm a YouTube celebrity. Uh... I'm What's up tubes? Yeah I know don't you know don't you? Yeah you do you already know what's up? Granted yes the pizza I order from dominoes is expensive but god damn it is it good. I just ordered me a large hand-tossed pizza garlic white Parmesan sauce. We got double the cheese, beef, pepperoni, double the bacon, Philly cheese steak, onions and spinach, and two cups of garlic butter. Yes! Hand tossed large pizza, double the cheese, garlic pomesan white sauce, beef, pepperoni, double the bacon, Philly cheese steak, onions and spinach, two cups of garlic butter. Oh, so good. All right. Two cups of garlic butter So good. All right. I'm gonna put the napkins. I shall leave a couple napkins out For me to wipe my hands I'm not gonna eat the whole thing in one sitting that would be crazy you two We'll grab like one or two slices. Yeah, let's, um, who we, you two, look, look at it. I want you to, okay, we're going to look at it. We're going to look at it on camera because that's how I roll. Again, not a sponsor, this is just free advertisements Look at it look at it look at it look at it look at it you too. I want you to look at it Doesn't that look good? fuck. Yeah, it looks good Good Good fuck yeah I'm like, I'm not going to be ordering pizza like crazy. You know, I had a real bad habit of doing that whenever I get my lawn money. You know what I'm saying? I'd mail off my wands and spend all my food money on pizza and I wouldn't have any groceries. I'm like, nope, no no we can't be doing that man so yeah once I get my ones mailed off and such and some point during the week I'll be making a trip to Walmart because I got to get some groceries so you know you too. We got a vegetable burger to make for you too because the Impossible Whopper is all the rage right now. People are talking about it. They're like have you heard of the Impossible Whopper? And I like, yes, I have. Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. This pizza is fresh out of the oven. Yes, so shout out to Domino's, Pizza Hut, Little Caesars, Papa Johns, you know, shout out to the big four baby Beef, pepperoni, bacon, Philly cheesecake, onions, and spinach. Okay, that's six topping, or it's not extra large, but it's a large, six topping pizza. With double the cheese cheese double the bacon oh oh oh oh I had to give the delivery girl a $4 tip. She was very friendly. Um, you know what I'm saying? And she's busting her ass delivering pizzas, you know? I know how that goes sometimes. When you're trying to make an honest living, those tips help. They do. And I like to tip people when I can. But look at that. Oh man, that just looks hella delicious. I want to set that down for a second, put it right there. All right, and we're going to put these empty garlic cups in the trash. Well, I don't have a plate from Domino's, but that works because it's grabbed one of my own plates. All right. YouTube, let's get a slice of this deliciousness. Ooh. Nothing says the yummy, for tummy, like some delicious pizza. Here's what the slice looks like. Look at it. Look at it. All right. I'm not going to eat the whole thing in one sitting. I might just have like one or two slices for now. One or two slices for now, you know, all kind of. Yeah, one or two, one slice will be enough for now, just enough to get my day started, but... Yummy. Okay, yummy! You tube. Look at it. Look at it. Fresh out of the oven. Just look at the layer of cheese that's on there. You can just see it, dude. Look at this, look at this beautiful pizza. I want you can just see it dude look at this look at this beautiful pizza I want you to look at it right there it's gonna close up of it oh yeah that's most definitely what's up go ahead grab a bite you know you want one all right I have a feeling this is gonna taste just delicious but Yeah, buddy. Yeah, buddy. How much did I pay for this bomb-ass pizza? Well, and take a gander here. I love pizza, a $4 tip. She was very nice and very professional. I'm going to be getting the wands boxed up here in a bit. But um, let's get some breakfast first. Mm. That garlic white sauce was the hand toss crust and the garlic butter on top. Dude. That combination is so flipping good. Last bite, because this piece is alright. Boom. Mmm. Boom Like the level of grease on the plate Look at that shininess right there Hm-hmm Mm-hmm I'll wash that plate off, wash my hands, I'm going to dry them a little quick. I'll be right back. Oh the stuff you're seeing on my arms like right in here especially that's bond pheromone soap there's times I'll just put the bond pheromone soap on I'll get it slightly wet underneath the faucet and then just go whoop yup yup yup so going out to the bar you know having a couple drinks I'll put the bond pheromone soap on like I'll run the bar soap underneath um underneath the sink and then I'll wash up with it and sometimes the soap doesn't wash away completely. Sometimes the soap just like I said it especially like right right right in here where you can you know that's why my arm looks the way it looks because I got that bond pheromone soap on. I washed with it before going to the bar. Just get it nice and wet and then Rub it against my arm Speaking of Bond, Fairamone Soap, speaking of Bond, hmm. Let's grab a cup of Coke to wash that down. I need to order another bar of it. I'm about out. So let's go to... There we go. Bond. Bond. One bar natural soap infused with powerful pheromone blend. That's my jam, Bond Soap, baby. Non-sponsor. Not sponsored by Coke either, just free advertisement. You see, I'm not that picky when it comes to Soda Pop. I like Coke and I like Pepsi. Now the handle seems to have broken off my cup, but that's all right. I'm sure I could glue it on if I need to. Let's go ahead and get two bars of it, add to cart, view cart, and check out. So how much are two bars of bond pheromone soap? Let's see, it's going to check out. No, thanks. Two bars of Bond, Fairamone, Soap, $2,190, pay with PayPal. And here's the best part of it. If I click on Pay With Paypal, and then U.S. Bank is where I go to bank. U.S. Bank is just awesome. So if you're ever in the mood for your banking needs, you want to start up on account, a savings account, checking account, check out U.S. Bank. They got you covered, man. I bank with U.S. Bank, and they're just awesome. Um. Okay, continue to payment. Complete order. Your order is being processed if you're not automatically... Thank you, Josh. It says... Your order is being processed. So two bars, two bars of tactical soaps going to run you 2690. That's with shipping. That's with shipping. That is a real pheromone product designed to make the women go nuts. For 2690. Dude. I've seen pheromone products that go for $200. Screw that! Screw that man! Why would you pay $200 for something that doesn't work? When you can go to tacticalsoap.com and pay 2690 for two different kinds if you want to buy the same kind, you want to buy two different kinds, whatever. I haven't smelled the other two soaps. They have bond tactical soap, Durbin tactical soap, and Maverick tactical soap. I haven't smelled the Durbin or the Maverick but I'm sure they smell just as good. I bought the Bond pherom soap because it's black, it looks goth, and it smells fucking amazing. First time I wore it, I was at the Denver, Colorado, Ozy Osborne concert, and every chick I walked by was like, that goth dude smells really good. That goth dude smells really fucking good. That's making my pussy wet. That goth dude smells really fucking good. That's making my pussy wet. That Goth dude smells really good. Oh, that's getting my nipples hard. That Goth dude smells really good. And I'm like, hey now you too you could spend over a hundred bucks for some product that doesn't work or you could spend 2690 for two bars of tactical soap and yeah. I'm telling you right now tactical soap works for lesbians too. Oh yeah, this soap is designed to make women horny. What a time to be alive man. And you saw it in one of my outside videos too you did. This chick that walked by me. She was like, oh that Bond Fairamone soap smells good. That's what she said and you didn't catch all of it on camera. All you heard was the word good and me just chuckling like yeah I'm a lifelong customer now I am not shooting you I'm a lifelong customer of tactical soap dot com that Bond Fairamone soap smells so good it's goth looking and it smells good. To smell sexy to any chick you walk by Any chick you walk by Every girl you walk by is gonna guarantee you is gonna say One of the two things that goth did smells good. You know what I'm saying like that's? When I'm wearing it. That's what that's all I get dude. That's all I fucking get. Nothing but positive response. Okay? How much money would you pay to smell sexy to any lady you walk by? I know dudes that would pay hundreds of dollars for that. But I'm telling you right now, if you order some tactical soap, two bars of tactical soaps going to run you at $26.90. of tactical soap is going to run you at $26.90 which is kind of expensive for two bars of soap but believe me YouTube it's worth every fucking penny. Or maybe you're a woman and I can't tell you how many times I've walked by women and they're like, Oh that goth dude smells good and then some other person comments. Oh that's King Cobra, he wears the Bond Ferrimone soap from tactical soap.com. I'm gonna have to get someone that for my other half. That smells good. I'm just saying. This one time I went to go eat at a restaurant with my family, I got up to use the bathroom and I walked by several cute waitresses. Every last one of them was just like, Mmm, oh damn, oh dude, that Goth dude smells good. And right on the way into the bathroom I walk by this one chick and she's like, oh my god, that Goth dude smells amazing. And someone else commented, that's Gothic King Cobra, he wears the bond Tactical Soap from Tactical Soap.com And she's like, I'm gonna have to get some of that for my other half. That smells really good. I'm just saying, you know, when you got chicks who are like, I don't want to buy that for my other half. You got chicks who want to buy that shit for their boyfriend because it smells that good. Just saying. and you wash your body, you wash your body and your hair with this soap in the shower, and you know, you dry off whatever. That could be a sneaky little surprise for you and your wife because, you know, your wife's not going to be expecting it. You know, if she doesn't pay attention to what's your ordering, you could be a sneaky little bastard and be like,, you know, you know, if she doesn't pay attention to what you're ordering, you could be a sneaky little bastard and be like, hey, you know, you get yourself some of that tactical soap and then your wife comes home from work and she gives you a kiss and all of a sudden, you smell good, you know, that's all it's going to take. tactical soap would make an excellent marital aid. Believe that. Okay, how much money would you spend to smell sexy to any lady you want by? You know what I'm saying? YouTube? I'm not sponsored by tactical soap, I'm not sponsored, but I'm a happy and lifelong customer. So that takes care of my soap situation. I got a little bit of that soap left, but I'm about out, you know. Start getting down to that sliver, the dude that sells the sunglasses, the dude who sells the sunglasses on YouTube. You probably don't even question what soap you wash with. Dude, I don't have to. Okay. You know the dude I'm talking about, the dude that sells the sunglasses that open up beer? That dude seems pretty cool. But he's sitting there, you probably don't even question what soap you wash with. I'm like, I don't have to, because Tactical Soap.com kicks ass. There's times I'll take my pocket knife and I'll cut a small sliver of that tactical soap off. I'll break it up into chunks and put it in with my clothes so that when I'm washing my clothes in the washer they get washed with pheromone soap and the scent dries onto them. That's what I do with my slivers that I have left. If the slivers are wearing down and they're getting smaller and smaller and harder to wash with, I'll save the chunks of pheromone soap that I get and have when they're like down to the nitty gritty, you know. And I'll wash my laundry with it believe that you know which is cool because that soap goes off and other people's clothes yeah buddy heh which it doesn't stay in your clothes it doesn't ruin your clothes if anything it just makes your clothes smell really good. You don't even know you two bond pheromone soap kicks ass. Well I want to order some. Where do you get it? Bond pheromone soap kicks ass. Well I want to order some. Where do you get it, Cobra? I want to order your special soap that you wear. I want to attract the ladies. I got you. Okay. I'll put a link in the description box below. I'll put a link in the description box of this video below where you can get tactical soap They have a Facebook page god damn it. I want to follow these motherfuckers like I had to give Ground Key Soap Company a like on Facebook because I'm a lifelong fan of theirs. soap that I have that I wear that I boast about you know like I'm not shitting you every chick I walk by or standby is like mmm that Goth dude smells really good you want to order some of this soap I got you covered man I'll provide the link description box below okay not a sponsor that's just free advertisements. Mm-hmm. Well, I got my pizza, got me some soda pot. I'll go and put my soda water in the fridge to keep it cold. Show the logo. Boom. Free advertisements! that's all right I can always get more booze I'm not worried about that's all right because I can always get more booze I'm not worried about it um yeah YouTube you know I'm not worried about it um yeah YouTube you know I'm not worried about it. Um... get laid. Believe that. guarantee that you'll smell good to pretty much any woman you walk by. Anyways YouTube, thank you for watching the video. And I'll catch you Cool Cobras later.