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====== Cobraisms ======

 After over a decade of making content, Josh's videos have recorded an uncountable number of verbal gaffs, mispronunciations, and drunken sayings. Because of the sheer volume of content, it is impossible to keep up with new Cobraisms for anyone but the most dedicated followers.

Josh has his favorite sayings that he will use any chance he can, and on rare occasion a new saying will be added to his repertoire. Josh can be highly impressionable, especially by his favorite creators, and will reuse some of their talking points or turns of phrase. Because Josh may not understand the meaning of what he's repeating, it is not uncommon for him to jumble up the words, creating new, nonsensical sayings. 

| {{:characters:jorp_speech.jpeg?400|}} |
| King Jorp SlipOfTheTongue III., addressing his subjects |

=== Types of Cobraism ===

Some notable types of Cobra-isms are *catchphrases* that he will continuously use that have become ingrained in Cobraverse culture. *Legendary pearls of wisdom* need no explanation, because there is no explanation that could possibly make them seem normal. *Mangled phrases and sayings* of both common and rare idioms, all mixed together. Boy hears something, and like a parrot, often doesn't understand the meaning behind the words, but unlike parrot, is unable to memorize the precise saying, so ends up completely butchering the meaning. 


====== List of Cobraisms ======

===== # =====

=== 21 and up ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Almost a catchphrase used as a content disclaimer or to distance himself from the sickos. 

=== 3 and 4 === 
> 1. //(numerals)// Two numbers that Josh believes [[beliefs:odd_fixations#Numbers|have magical powers]]
>
>
>> //"3 and 4... **3 and 4!**"//


=== 80 percent British ===
> 1. //(phrase)// 
>
>
>>//"My 80 percent British, 30 percent Scottish Viking"//
>Josh believes himself to be of British descent, and will remind the audience when he uses British slang or swears.

===== A =====

=== Abbrevanation ===
> 1. //(noun)// Abbreviation

=== After 5 o'clock ===

> 1. //((phrase)// Despite not having a job, Josh loves to use the phrases to justify taking the edge off and/or get absolutely plastered. //(Variant: "It's the weekend")//

=== And to add credit to the insults to injury. ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Add insult to injury

=== Arkah-sass ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Arkansas

=== Ass-burgers ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Asperger's, often used as a play on words.
>
>
>> //"Oops, that was my ass-burgers talking shit"//

=== Attracking ===

> 1. //(verb)// Attracting
===== B =====

=== Bacardi Lemore ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Bacardi Limon

=== Between the lips, to the liver and to our hips. ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Presages drinking something alcoholic.

=== Bigotism ===

> 1. //(noun)// Bigotry

=== Bill Barr ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Bill Burr

=== Billie Uh-leye-shuh ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Billie Eilish

=== Bkue Apparin ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Blue Apron

=== Bronze ===

> 1. //(noun)// Brawn.

=== Bumfire Stock ===

> 1. //(noun)// Bump Fire Stock

=== Burgalee ===

> 1. //(noun)// Burglary.

=== But I digress... ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Our King gets off topic sometimes.

=== Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttt ===

> 1. //(interjection)// A gravelly drawn out "but" provides a seamless segue to the next thought. 

===== C =====

=== Capitalization. ===

> 1. //(noun)// Capitalism.

=== Cardinal Cherries ===

> 1. //(noun)// Cordial Cherries

=== Catch all 22. ===

> 1. //(phrase)// A mix of "Catch-22" and the "Gotta catch them all!" slogan.

=== Celebral/Skelblal Pelosi. ===

> 1. //(noun)// Cerebral Palsy.

=== Chomo ===

> 1. //(slang)// Child molester.

=== Churn O'Boil. ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Chernobyl

=== Cibel Liverty ===

> 1. //(noun)// Civil Liberty

=== Cillimeters. ===

> 1. //(noun)// Centimeters.

=== Coming in nicely... ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Josh frequently used this to talk about things in the works. Often they do not come to fruition.

=== Confensating. ===

> 1. //(verb)// Compensating.

=== Congealing ===

> 1. //(verb)// He believes it to be a catch-all term for ingredients combining, emulsifying, or thickening.

=== Conundruff ===

> 1. //(noun)// Conundrum

=== Crasst ===

> 1. //(adjective)// Crass

===== D =====

=== Decordation of Independence. ===

> 1. //(noun)// Declaration of Independence.

=== Delayment. ===

> 1. //(noun)// Delayed.

=== DTTS ===

> 1. //(acronym)// Donate to talk shit. (Donation text to speech)

=== Duh-blanger. ===

> 1. //(noun)// Doppelganger.

=== Dunkin' ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Dokken (Band)

===== E =====

=== Every generation gets liquified. ===

> 1. //(phrase)// An indecipherable phrase, the meaning of which can only be guessed at.

=== Exsquisid. ===

> 1. //(adjective)// Exquisite.

===== F =====

=== Famous Bowl From Dave's KFC Famous ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// KFC Famous Bowl

=== Fellow Youtubers ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// A term of endearment like Cool Cobras to refer to his viewers.
>
>
>>//"WHAT UP FELLOW YOUTUBERS, IT'S YOUR SEXY GOTH BAD BOY!"//

=== Fer Aleesay. ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Fur Elise / Flur Elise.

=== Fish is a dairy product because it has protein in it like milk. ===

> 1. //(phrase)// A misinterpretation of food groups and their distinctions. Fish is generally considered a seafood or meat.

=== Four hits or less will get you retarded ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Used when promoting his hypothetical strain of marijuana "King Cobra's Chronic", of course he can not refrain from referencing the [[beliefs:odd_fixations#numbers |magic number, 4.]]

=== Flattery is the biggest compliment. ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

=== Fleshman's Vodka ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Fleischmann's Vodka

=== Freebased Opinion ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Possibly transbogrified "free speech" and "basic" into a turn of phrase.

>> //"They refuse to use it because of all the crap that people deal with just for having a freebased opinion"//

=== Fustated ===

> 1. //(adjective)// Frustrated

===== G =====

=== Genetic. ===

> 1. //(adjective)// Generic.
>
>
>> [[https://youtu.be/2hViGl3-6Xc|"Genetic Mountain Dew... oh yeaahh..."]]

=== Gobread Gilfred Biago ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Gilbert Gottfried //(Variant: Gilbert Got Fred)//


===== H =====

=== Half glass mentality of life ===

> 1. //(phrase)// A phrase that is in contrast to half-full or half-empty dispositions, Josh says he prefers to be entirely neutral seeing things to be just as they are.

=== Happy Easternoth ===

> 1. //(noun)// Equinox. Said in celebration of Christmas, although Equinox is not in December.

=== Harlem ===

> 1. //(noun)// Harem

=== Here's the thing of it, slick! ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Josh uses this to denote when he's "tellin' it like it is".

=== Herman King ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Herman Cain

=== High-sigh ===

> 1. //(noun)// Hindsight

=== Human Analogy. ===

> 1. //(noun)// Human Anatomy.

===== I =====

=== I didn't do it intentionally! ===

> 1. //(phrase)// A phrase often used to weasel out of accountability.
>
>
>> [[https://youtu.be/y2Fn2qCN1L4?t=83|"There's no way I caused $6000 worth of damage to this apartment... I didn't do it intentionally!"]]

=== I might have been born yesterday, but I wasn't born last night. ===

> 1. //(phrase)// A mangling of the phrase //"I might have been born at night, but it wasn't //last// night!"// to reject a notion of one's perceived gullibility.
>
>
>> //Cobra: "I might have been born last night, but I wasn't born yesterday."//
>>
>> //Alex Anderson: "Yeah mother fuckers who think you were born last night even though you're older than they are!"//

=== I ride bike, weather permittable. ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Josh occasionally rides his bike when the weather permits it.

=== I wasn't gonna knock that up. ===

> 1. //(phrase)// To not turn something down. The phrase assumedly mixes up the idiomatic usage of "knocking" meaning to criticize and "knocking up" meaning to get pregnant. 

>> //"You're too drunk to walk home I want to give you a ride home and I wasn't going to knock that up, honestly like I was grateful for that actually"//

=== I'm a 90's baby. ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Used as an excuse for still watching cartoons, and for a credibility booster when getting nostalgic. 

>> //"Gogurt that takes me back to my childhood- I'm a 90s baby so that speaks to me"//

=== I'M SICK OF IT! ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Self-explanatory. Heard after/during major tantrums.

=== I've spent several years... Being patriotic... ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Said by Josh to prove his love of country through his years of experience as a proud patriot.


=== In jail for a good, stenchy length of time ===

> 1. //(phrase)// A mangled idiom for //"A good stretch of time"//.

=== Indeaf. ===

> 1. //(adjective)// Indepth.

=== Indocturned ===

> 1. //(verb)// Indoctrinated

=== Internally grateful. ===

> 1. //(phrase, malaprop)// Eternally grateful.

=== Internprentation. ===

> 1. //(noun)// Interpretation.

=== Irony ===

> 1. //(noun)// Josh loves to use the term ironic to refer to coincidental happenstances... rarely is he describing a true example of irony. //(Variant: "Ironic", "Deliciously ironic.")//

=== It is what it is ===

> 1. //(phrase)// A very half glass way of dealing with situations.

=== It literally stretches her pee hole 4 to 8 times the size to push out... ===

> 1. //(phrase)// A graphic and incorrect description of the process of natural childbirth.

=== It's all up to the subject of a beholder, of course. ===

> 1. //(phrase)// In the eye of the beholder.

=== It's amazing when you become a little bit drunk how self-aware you are... ===

> 1. //(phrase)// A musing from a drunken stream. 

=== It's not like art that you... physically see... but it's art you taste... ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Self-congratulatory utterance during a food hack.

=== Ittenverenly. ===

> 1. //(adverb)// Inadvertently.

===== J =====

=== Joseph Go-Bells ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Joseph Goebbels

=== Joy Davidson ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Joy Division

===== K =====

=== Kid John Un ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Kim Jon-Un

===== L =====

=== Lahfetay. ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Lafayette.

=== Liebary ===

> 1. //(noun)// Library

=== Life is a box of cereal... ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Meant to signify how precious life is, while also maintaining a disposition of beauty in death. 
>
>
>> //"Life is a box of cereal and death is that sweet toy... why would you waste a whole box of cereal just to get that toy?"//

=== Like stank on rice. ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Originates from the movie Space Jam, a play on //"like white on rice"//.

=== Lou Kren ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Lucerne

===== M =====

=== Mica wave ===

> 1. //(noun)// Microwave

=== Mockaroni Durinera/Guyrah Dennera ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Marconi Giardiniera, a pickled blend of peppers, carrots, cauliflower, and celery in oil

=== Monetary Jack ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Monterey Jack

=== Monitorization ===

> 1. //(noun)// Monetization

=== Morrison Salt ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Morton Salt

===== N =====

=== Near distant future ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Used to refer to an indeterminate amount of time, but sure to happen.

=== “Nestle” ===

> 1. //(verb)// Nestlé (Candy Company)

=== No skin off my shoes. ===

> 1. //(phrase)// No skin off my back.

=== Not a sponsor ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Said after saying something good about any product.
>
>
>> //"Show that logo- not a sponsor."//

===== O =====

=== O Hollow's Eve ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// All Hallow's Eve, a traditional name for Halloween.

=== Olo. ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Olaf (The character from Frozen.)

===== P =====

=== Pasture. ===

> 1. //(noun)// Pastor.

=== Phonicsly. ===

> 1. //(adverb)// Phonetically.

=== Pomahdor. ===

> 1. //(noun)// Pompadour.

=== Pontificating ===

> 1. //(verb)// Pondering

=== Pork chop delight... ===

> 1. //(phrase)// A phrase born out of a food-gasm.

=== Prawmashawn/Prawmajawn ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Parmesan


===== R =====

=== Red Wine. ===

> 1. //(noun)// Redrum.

=== Reporch. ===

> 1. //(noun)// Report.

=== Rowstah. ===

> 1. //(noun)// Roster.

=== Rule. ===

> 1. //(verb)// Rue.

===== S =====

=== Sarenghetto Cheese ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Sargento Cheese

=== Saudi and Arabian ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Saudi Arabian

=== Savay. ===

> 1. //(adjective)// Savvy.

=== Seckshul Ontondro. ===

> 1. //(noun)// Sexual Entendre.

=== Sentative ===

> 1. //(noun)// Sentiment

=== Sex Offendry ===

> 1. //(noun)// Sex Offender Registry

=== Shaneen/Sah-need O'Connor ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Sinead O'Connor

=== Smooth Santa ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Smooth by Santana

=== So mote it be, in the witches circle. ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Witchcraft phrase to conclude a spell, similar to that of Amen for prayers.

=== Social Conflict. ===

> 1. //(noun - malaprop)// Social Construct.

=== Stoned Ape Theory ===

> 1. //(phrase - hypothesis)// Cobes' take on the controversial "Stoned Ape" theory, which postulates a growth in cognitive abilities is linked to the introduction of psilocybin mushrooms in proto-human diets. Josh's understanding of this theory, however, is just that proto-humans got high out of boredom because they didn't have the modern luxuries of porn and video games to fill their time with, full stop.

>>//"The first human beings to ever survive are basically the very first campers and when you go camping and you're scavenging for shit–you know what I'm saying? But camping today is nothing compared to what it was back then–you know–all of a sudden they find these magical mushrooms you can eat and you can eat them and they provide a source of entertainment.  Because they didn't have video games, or watching two bitches go at each other, or watching people get into a stupid argument on the internet. No, people who first came onto this planet 
the first human beings–the first human beings didn't have all of that to entertain them so quite often if they found drugs that could get you high and that were naturally grown in Mother Earth–things like salvia cocaine tobacco weed shrooms that sort of thing–they would consume them as a source of entertainment… It’s the Stoned Ape Theory, and it’s very much a plausible theory."//


=== Straight from the source’s mouth ===

> 1. //(phrase - malaprop)// Straight from the horse’s mouth

=== Subjugation. ===

> 1.  //(noun)// Subject.

=== Susan of YouTube ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Susan Wojcicki

===== T =====

=== Ta-berkley-osis. ===

> 1. //(noun)// Tuberculosis.

=== Talbanian ===

> 1. //(noun)// Taliban

=== Tapahteal (tuh-pa-tee-al). ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Tapatío (taa·puh·tee·ow).

=== That's Rick Ross for ya! ===

> 1. //(phrase)// (No definition provided)

=== That's what's up ===

> 1. //(phrase)// In regards to something cool/good happening. //(Abbreviation: "TWU") (Variant: That's most definitely what's up, "TMDWU")//

=== Tommy Lorraine ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Tomi Lahren

=== Toobz ===

> 1.//(proper noun)// YouTube.

=== Tranq-wary ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Tanqueray

=== Tranzoot. ===

> 1. //(noun)// Transit.

=== Trickateria ===

> 1. //(noun)// Trichotillomania

=== Trust and believe! ===

> 1. //(phrase)// "Do not question me," said the pathological liar.

=== Tug at the soul string ===

> 1. //(phrase - malaprop)// Tugs at the heartstrings

===== U =====

=== Ulterior modems ===

> 1. //(noun)// Ulterior motives

=== Un-initially ===

> 1. //(adverb)// Unintentionally

=== Uptense. ===

> 1. //(adjective)// Uptight.

===== V =====

=== Val Kilmore ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Val Kilmer

=== Video Responce ===

> 1. //(noun)// Misspelling of video response, common in his live-stream and prerecorded video titles. These videos usually circle around the same talking points for an unnecessarily long amount of time.
===== W =====

=== Waffle out ===

> 1. //(verb)// Waft out.

=== Want, not a need === 

> 1. //(phrase)// Implying that Josh is in control of his desires, such as engaging in sex, drinking alcohol, using tobacco, or huffing duster, though often it will not take long for him to cave to his cravings.
>
>
>> //"Getting laid is a want and not a need, toobz."// 

=== Well, we got the can of Surströmming open...but at what cost. ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Said after opening a can of fermented herring known as Surströmming, spilling some liquid onto the carpet in the process. This is a food notorious for having such a pungent and repulsive odor that it is banned from airplanes and is recommended to be opened underwater to contain the noxious odor.

=== When the Sun goes out... ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Another indecipherable theory on what happens after the sun "goes out".
>
>
>> //"When the Sun goes out, if humans have invented the technology to live without the Sun, that technology will only last so long until the Earth explodes."//

=== With faded breath ===

> 1. //(phrase - malaprop)// With bated breath

=== Women and cars have a couple of things in common... ===

> 1. //(phrase)// A nonsensical musing
>
>
>> //"Women and cars have a couple of things in common. Some cars are older, some cars are newer."//

===== Y =====

=== You can be sexy without being sexual that's just my opinion ===

> 1. //(phrase)// An opinion offered rejecting the idea of beauty and sexuality being intrinsically linked

=== You can pick your nose but you can't pick your family's nose. ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Mangled idiom for "you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family".

=== You can take the eyeliner... ===

> 1. //(phrase)// You can't stop Josh from being a goth bad boy.
>
>
>> //"You can take the eyeliner, nail polish, whatever, away but you can't take the 'goth' out of GothicKingCobra52."//

=== You know, love is like a fart... ===

> 1. //(phrase)// A twist on the old saying about not forcing love.
>
>
>>//"You know, love is like a fart....it stinks, it involves assholes and you shouldn't force it"//

=== You'll catch honey with more flies, you know what I'm saying? ===

> 1. //(phrase)// You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

=== Your pussy smells like Wendy's... ===

> 1. //(phrase)// Said to [[Characters:nakedandlaughing|Jessica]] to describe the aroma of her genitals..

=== Youtube Poop ===

> 1. //(noun)// Josh's term for any editing of his videos, such as by BiteSizeCobraVids.

===== Z =====

=== Zack Wade ===

> 1. //(proper noun)// Zakk Wylde