Praise be Cobra's Magic

KingCobraJFS is a dark magician capable of many forms of advanced conjuration, alteration, and of course, destruction. This article seeks to document his many powers and curses.

• Magic type: Alteration
• Effectiveness: Varied
• Accuracy: Very Accurate
• Duration: Varied

Description: A common spell used live on stream, Josh will cast this spell on supporters in need by request. The recipient will be less likely to be affected by physical, mental, spiritual, financial, or other forms of harm. For some reason, the effectiveness is extremely varied depending on the person receiving the spell. It is rumored that an advanced version of this may prevent many alcohol-based poisons, even nullifying Botulism altogether.

• Magic type: Curse?
• Effectiveness: Strong
• Accuracy: Very Accurate
• Duration: Until the event comes to pass

Description: Josh is naturally capable of predicting future events, such as the time he predicted his dad's automobile accident. These powers are fickle and used sparingly.

• Magic type: Curse
• Effectiveness: Very Strong
• Accuracy: Very Inaccurate
• Duration: Several hours at a time

Description: This spell causes the target to be trapped in a miniature groundhog-day-like stasis, unaware of the passage of time. Victims will often be seen or heard saying the same sentence or sentences with limited to no change in sentence structure, seemingly for hours at a time. Unfortunately it seems that while the spell's efficacy is unmatched, the accuracy leaves something to be desired - There are few recorded instances of Josh casting this spell and not accidentally hitting himself, demonstrated most notably during the Double Down incident and more notably, the Papa John's Stuffed Crust Pizza Incident.

• Magic type: Mystic
• Effectiveness: Unknown
• Accuracy: Unknown
• Duration: Small periods of time

Description: While they have never been caught on camera, Josh claims to make chi balls at will in the palm of his hands, and at the tip of his many wands.

• Magic type: Curse
• Effectiveness: Very Strong
• Accuracy: Very Accurate
• Duration: Indefinite

Description: Little is known of this curse, but many speculate that in his early years of wizardry, Josh accidentally cursed himself with eternal clumsiness and the near-constant spilling of drink combinations while attempting to summon a hot, of-age biologically female goth chick. The curse may be eternal, or only broken by the death of the cursed individual.

• Magic type: Alteration/Curse
• Effectiveness: Unparalleled
• Accuracy: Unknown
• Duration: Nigh unbreakable, requiring the skills of a master magician to cure

Description: A spell to ensure all the sad pathetic troles who constantly pester Josh, the spell was an attempt to prove that King Cobra really rules his sad pathetic trolls' lives by preventing them from ever getting laid. However, the spell backfired, causing the extended dry spell to befall Josh instead.

• Magic type: Alteration
• Effectiveness: Very Strong
• Accuracy: Very Accurate
• Duration: Instant

Desctiption: A spoken incantation used for protection against fire-based threats. Only seen once during the infamous “French Frys” Incident, it appears that a trained magician need only shout the word “Stop!” in a annoyed tone of voice to extinguish any form of fire near-instantaneously.

• Magic type: Conjuration
• Effectiveness: Limited
• Accuracy: Limited
• Duration: Unknown

Description: A secret and satanic ritual of unknown portent, it remains the most difficult spell Josh has ever attempted to cast. The steps to the ritual are esoteric and complicated, and likely involve copious amounts of Tactical Soap. Be wary when attempting this ritual, as the ritual if done improperly can summon unknown horrors instead...