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--- sagas:the_ellen_saga [2025/04/12 18:33] – stuffedcrustfrompapajohnswithextracheeseextrabacononionsjalapenosandanchoviesdoodt
+++ sagas:the_ellen_saga [2025/04/22 19:29] (current) – stuffedcrustfrompapajohnswithextracheeseextrabacononionsjalapenosandanchoviesdoodt
@@ Line 8: / Line 8: @@
   ***[[characters:Darfliny]]:** Darf would play a key role in several major incidents during this saga, whether Josh liked it or not.
   ***[[characters:Minor Homeboys and Homegirls>#Ellen]]:** The real star of the story, Ellen is an of-age, cisgendered goth girl who isn't related to him and is alive.
@@ Line 23: / Line 22: @@
 Ellen, a goth woman with black hair and green eyes, was the daughter of Josh's friend Angie. Josh’s relationship with Ellen became a subject of interest among his viewers, starting around early 2019 when Josh began filming videos at Walt and Angie's house. There were speculations regarding Josh's intentions, suggesting he might be attempting to forge a closer relationship with Ellen due to her fitting his aesthetic preference in partners.
 Josh would actually hang out with Ellen as early as September of 2018 during [[sagas:The Wandmaker Saga]], where he would accidentally have an erection after being hugged by Ellen. It's worth mentioning that even back then, Ellen already had a boyfriend, although Josh claims that Ellen had some level of physical attraction to him.
+This saga can be best recognized by his first on-camera mention of Ellen on August 7th, 2019 - In a video talking about his wands, Josh would say he was in a good mood after he realized the girl he was crushing on totally likes him back. Yes, she's alive, drop-dead gorgeous, and definitely would go for a reverse-cross-eyed hermit with a head shaped like a gourd.
 ===== Timeline of Events =====
+==== The Wet Panty Zone ====
+After accidentally putting himself in the negative spending money on pizza and booze, Josh would partake in early-age twitch thot behavior by working out shirtless after receiving numerous donations to pay for his Internet bill. This would lead to the infamous KingCobraJFS quote "You've officially entered the wet panty zone!", as he continued to do nothing but bicep curls and attempt to flex random muscles to his own music.
+Much of this profit was given to Ellen after she implied her dog required a costly surgery - In fact, Josh actually gave the money he had from the aforementioned stream directly to Ellen to aid in surgery costs. This kind of selfless action immediately rang alarm bells among Cobraverse fans, as it wasn't common for Josh to be //this// selfless.
+==== A girl named Ellen ====
+As a result of his generosity, Josh would start hanging out with and getting chummy with Ellen's parents, Walt and Angie. Filming many videos at their place where he could smoke indoors, he would generally make himself a friend of the family by any means necessary. In fact, Josh would even babysit Angie's micropig, being her very first appearance in Josh's content.
+Despite simping this hard for a girl whose entire family is clearly using him for his cash, Josh decided that lusting after one hot of-age goth chick wasn't enough, and also spent time planning how to ask out his other crush Felicia, the girl who sold him his pot-leaf ear gauges.
 ==== Live with Darfliny ep. 3 ====
@@ Line 65: / Line 77: @@
 Josh would delete this stream and get cranky over his stream getting saved by people like [[characters:Bitesize Cobra Vids]] - However, Josh would attempt to take the high road on this matter, claiming it was good for self-reflection. This would not stop him from seething about it during April of the same year.
+==== Foodie fumbles ====
+When he wasn't having meltdowns over his window not staying open or dropping his booze, Josh would do what he dubbed the "[[incidents:the_budweiser_challenge|Budweiser Challenge]]" - His alcoholism on full display, Josh found a way to make having a 26-pack of beer with his pal Darfliny a stream. The challenge would be ultimately failed after both Josh and Darf passed out around the 6-8 beer mark, and Josh would spend several minutes violently coughing so hard that his face would change color.
+On a content roll, Josh would get a package of the fabled Surströmming, Finnish regional delicacy of preserved shark meat. This would bring Josh face-to-face with his most monstrous of foes once again: The Can Opener. Fumbling non-stop, Josh would eventually attempt to pierce the can open and //immediately// spill it all over his carpet, eventually leading to the infamous line "Well YouTube, we got the Surströmming open...But at what cost?" This would not stop him from consuming the stuff like the true gothic rockstar badboy he was.
+Josh would also make a video where he made a gigantic steak that he and Darfliny would share. In between thinly veiled homoerotic comments by Darf and accidentally fumbling one of his goblets, Cobes would commit the most heinous of culinary acts to this steak, and effectively boil it in primordial grease, a whole stick of butter, and Rolling Rock beer. Although he was hesitant to sample it, Darf would eventually tuck in alongside Josh.
+^{{:sagas:foodie_crimes.png?400|}}|
+|//Nobody contact Gordon Ramsay//|
+==== The T-shirt meltdown ====
+One of Josh's more infamous meltdowns would happen in early July after he released the "Female Impowerment" T-shirt, revealing it via livestream. This bold new for-the-ladies-only T-shirt would lead to instant hilarity once Josh realized he hadn't just spelt "Goddess" wrong, but also "Empowerment" wrong, to which he let out a particularly violent //**"GOD DAMN IT!"**// as a result, and as usual have an autistic meltdown.
+^{{:sagas:it_pisses_me_off.png?400|}}|
+|//Fury//|
 ==== The President's Letter ====
-During a rare Facebook live session in July, Josh reveals he has received a letter from the 45th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. He proudly reads the letter aloud, wherein he is praised for using his dark magic to defeat ISIS. Shortly after, Josh is informed that the letter is actually a fake and he responds by tearing it up. Immediately afterwards, the trolls convince him that the letter may have been real after all, but the damage had already been done.
+During a rare Facebook live session in July, Josh reveals he has received a letter from the 45th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. He proudly reads the letter aloud, wherein he is praised for using his dark magic to defeat ISIS. Shortly after, Josh would discover on the KingCobraJFS Subreddit that the letter is actually a fake and he responds by tearing it up. Immediately afterwards, the trolls convince him that the letter may have been real after all, but the damage had already been done.
 ==== Banned from the CY Bar ====
@@ Line 101: / Line 131: @@
 ===== Trivia =====
-  * Josh's alcoholism would get even worse, as in mid-April 2019, he would start making drink combos from the moment he woke up.
+  * In September, Josh would admit to having a stash of booze he kept for times when he wasn't on camera, which is clear alcoholic behavior.
-  * In July, Josh would make a collab video with a man who would one day become his greatest rival: CoolTaste, the mostly-blind Casper mole rat.
   * Josh would receive the black leather cowboy hat and his banjo in October of 2019.
-  * Josh went to the dentist in both January and February of 2020, and would even brush his teeth on camera once. He comments that the toothpaste stings.
+  * Josh would go to a dentist in January and February of 2020, and would even brush his teeth on camera once. He comments that the toothpaste stings.
 ==== Sources ====