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--- sagas:the_ellen_saga [2025/12/15 14:36] – wulongleftleg
+++ sagas:the_ellen_saga [2025/12/17 13:06] (current) – ["Who's L N?"] wulongleftleg
@@ Line 13: / Line 13: @@
   ***[[characters:Minor Homeboys and Homegirls>#Walt and Angie]]:** Walter and Angie Knight are the parents of Ellen, and are best remembered as opportunistic leeches off of Josh's paypigs.
+  ***[[characters:Scrapper Steve]]:** Much to the misfortune of all involved, Scrapper Steve would show up again during this saga to show off his pup-play fetish.
+  ***[[characters:minor_homeboys_and_homegirls#>Banjo Bill|Banjo Bill]]:** Banjo Bill would be a minor buddy-troll during this saga, as he would show up in spirit to give Josh a high-quality banjo, and steal Josh's smoking pole.
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 ==== The Booze Problem ====
 The real issue was not Josh's inability to make more painted sticks, it was his alcoholism. Around September of 2019, Josh's inability to understand concepts such as "time" or "money" would be made manifest with his rampant alcohol abuse. This new avenue of money would allow him to spend ungodly amounts of his earnings on booze, and he would become steadily more and more of a lush as time progressed. It is at this stage that Josh would begin his metamorphosis into his more recognizable Boglim physiognomy, mostly through the combination of letting all his hair grow out alongside the degradation of his fine motor skills.
 ==== Not-so-boyfriend-free ====
 Josh would continue to crush on Ellen for several weeks, even after discovering that she was now seeing someone. This would not stop the Boy from crushing, even after Ellen's current boyfriend started poking fun at Josh's unreciprocated love. During this time, Josh would also begin doing his infamous "Pout Streams", a subset of his streamed content where he would essentially beg for money, and spend extended periods of time staring at his webcam with his arms folded, pouting. It's during this time that Josh would also tease "modelling (his) green undies" live on stream. This would lead to one of Josh's many, many temporary YouTube bans, as he would accidentally flash the camera.
 ==== The lost 10k subscriber stream ====
 On September 25th 2019, Josh would hit 10,000 subscribers on his KingCobraJFS YouTube channel. In celebration, Cobes would strip down to his infamous cock holster and work out, and also do vocal covers of several copyrighted songs. For obvious reasons, YouTube moderation did not take kindly to this celebration, and the stream was taken down. Worst of all, the stream was taken down before it could be saved, stealing one of the most prolific moments of the Cobraverse from Josh's loyal fans. The stream is considered lost media.
-==== Live with Darfliny ep. 3 ====
+==== Live with Darfliny ====
 //For the associated Incidents page, click [[incidents:live with darfliny ep.3|here.]]//
-In October, Josh's short, stocky blacksmith pal [[characters:Darfliny]] would start a series of episodic livestreams known as "Live with darfliny", where he would stream and document various goings-on in his day-to-day life. The most notorious of these is Episode 3 livecast in November, where Darf and Josh hang out. However, lacking in moderation and not preemptively sharing Josh's chat ban list, Josh and Darf are endlessly harangued by trolls, causing Josh to have an autistic meltdown, causing him to angrily consume chips and yell at Darfliny's chat. Darf would delete the stream, presumably at Josh's request.
+In late September, Josh's short, stocky blacksmith pal [[characters:Darfliny]] would start collaborating more with Josh in videos and streams, leading to numerous infamous quotes and moments, such as Darf trying to get a waitress' number for the Boy's sake. In fact, it would encourage Darf to start streaming, too: A series of episodic livestreams known as "Live with darfliny", where he would stream and document various goings-on in his day-to-day life. The most notorious of these is Episode 3 livecast in November, where Darf and Josh hang out. However, lacking in moderation and not preemptively sharing Josh's chat ban list, Josh and Darf are endlessly harangued by trolls, causing Josh to have an autistic meltdown, causing him to angrily consume chips and yell at Darfliny's chat. Darf would delete the stream, presumably at Josh's request.
 ==== Hell's Advocate ====
 Halloween is always a great time for Gothic Rockstar Bad BOYS like Josh, so why not celebrate in style? On Halloween, Josh would drop his ninth album, [[albums:Hell's Advocate]]. Hell's Advocate is particularly important in Josh's musical career, as this would be his first published album via Deathbed Tapes. During the [[incidents:celebration_of_life_stream|Celebration of Life Stream]], Clint would note that this was one of Josh's proudest achievements.
+==== Return of the Scrapper ====
+November heralded the return of the least favorite Homeboy of the extended Cobraverse: [[characters:Scrapper Steve]]. Showing up in one of Josh's "Chillin" videos sitting on Josh's moldy carpet, wearing a puppy mask, and generally pretending to be a dog for his own personal gratification, Josh would express a subtle level of discomfort, opting to not even look in the sicko's general direction for the entirety of the video.
+^{{:sagas:sicko_spotted.png?400|}}|
+|//Above: Josh questioning why he's still friends with Steve//|
+==== Pranked ====
+Later that same month, Josh would go on a small tangent attempting to troll telemarketers. While the content was peak Cobra content, Josh made the mistake of fumbling almost immediately. It took the telemarketers exactly two calls to figure out that Josh was trolling them, but that didn't stop him from harassing them anyways.
+However in a deliciously ironic twist, trolls would create a fake news story to prank Josh with: Cobes was made to believe that a fan of his listened to Josh's albums and caused a mass shooting. This prank was a major blow to Josh's psyche, as he genuinely believed that one of his fans had committed a mass shooting. In fact, this would be such a major blow to his mental health that for years to come, Josh would repeatedly condemn mass shootings, even making a track in his final album "[[albums:Life Ain't Fair]]" condemning mass shootings. This is the first recorded instance of Josh uttering the phrase "Hashtag fuck mass shootings!", which would remain stuck in his brain for years to come.
 ==== The Christmas Engagement ====
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 ==== Black Veil Brides Concert ====
-In early January 2020, discussions around Ellen were partially eclipsed by Josh's efforts to obtain tickets for a Black Veil Brides concert, which was among Ellen's favorite bands. Josh planned to gift these tickets to Ellen for her birthday, discussing his intentions to provide a memorable experience for her. Despite his eagerness to attend the concert with her, Ellen’s relationship status with another individual led to ambiguities about who would accompany her, which Josh accepted without public objection.
+In early January 2020, discussions around Ellen were partially eclipsed by Josh's efforts to obtain tickets for a Black Veil Brides concert, which was among Ellen's favorite bands. Josh planned to gift these tickets to Ellen for her birthday, discussing his intentions to provide a memorable experience for her. Now, Josh was broke and needed to buy himself a new phone, but that didn't matter. Despite his eagerness to attend the concert with her, Ellen’s relationship status with another individual led to ambiguities about who would accompany her, which Josh accepted without public objection.
+==== The New Year's fakeout ====
+In mid-to-late January, Josh would divulge that he had ended his two year dry spell with an unknown lady on New Year's Eve. This was immediately scrutinized by his fanbase, and Josh's limited recollection of events due to alcohol made it difficult to discern if it was true. Josh claimed it was one of his homeboy's kids, had a huge rack, and was of-age. This lie would be perpetuated for about a month before the Boy eventually caved and admitted it was made up, at the request of the partygoers who were questioned about the whole ordeal by Troles. In fact, it turned out Josh had gotten absolutely demolished on New Year's Eve on booze and acid, and imagined the whole scenario.
+==== Ellen's GoFundMe for Old Friends ====
 Josh and Ellen's working relationship seemingly concluded with the successful fundraising for the Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary, with over $200 collected, fulfilling the target set alongside the contest stipulations. Regardless of Josh's ulterior motives or the intervention of his trolls, the involvement and responses from Josh's viewers played a pivotal role in achieving this goal.
 Josh would thank viewers for helping him help Ellen "from the bottom of his gothic heart" by lifting weights and playing guitar in his lime green cock holster while erect. Trolls would capitalize on this by sending this footage to Ellen, which Cobes would respond to by talking about said incident in a hushed tone. Josh claims that Ellen thought it was "A sweet gesture".
+To add insult to injury, Josh made a bit of an oopsie when he sent the wand to the winner of the donation contest: Instead of sending the wand to the winner, he sent it to the PayPal merchant. Josh would spend a lot of time moping in his brown grandma chair with his arms folded over the whole ordeal. Thankfully, Josh would send a replacement wand to the winner some weeks later.
+==== "Who's L N?" ====
+Josh's heart was clearly broken: He had tried his little boglim best every single day and was no closer to dating Ellen. Sensing weakness, Josh's YouTube trolls would routinely harass him in on stream to the point that he banned the name "Ellen" in its entirety from his chat. Trolls would circumvent this by typing the letters "L N", the phonetic equivalent of Ellen.
-January would also mark the appearance of Josh's Brown La-Z boy, an infamous precursor to [[objects:The Dead Dog Chair]].
+Even worse, Josh's trolls would strike once more by stealing his beloved Smoking Pole from the apartment complex. The culprit turned out to be the mysterious homeboy [[characters:minor_homeboys_and_homegirls#>Banjo Bill|Banjo Bill]] and one of his friends, who would return the pole after the KingCobraJFS subreddit mods threatened to report him to local authorities.
 ==== KingCobraJFS: Now it's a Party! ====
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   * In September, Josh would admit to having a stash of booze he kept for times when he wasn't on camera, which is clear alcoholic behavior.
-  * Josh would receive the black leather cowboy hat and his banjo in October of 2019.
+  * Josh would receive the black leather cowboy hat and his banjo in October of 2019. The banjo came from none other than homeboy Banjo Bill, hence the name.
   * Josh would go to a dentist in August of 2019, and would even brush his teeth on camera once. He comments that the toothpaste stings.
   * [[objects:The Smoking Pole]] would be bought for the apartment during this time, as Josh wanted an easy way to access tobacco snipes to fuel his nicotine addiction.
   * In September 2019, Josh would take credit for North Korea's failed nuclear missile test launch, using his "dark powers".
   * Josh would officially become a Tactical Soap affiliate during late September of 2019, making several videos swearing up and down that it gets you of-age, consenting, alive goth girl pussy. Although the affiliate link would break after some time, Josh would make innumerable videos shilling this snake oil almost up to his own demise.
+  * One of Josh's "fangirls" sent him a gift to clone his Cobra Jr. However because Josh is basically incapable of doing anything on time, he messed it up and was unable to provide a proper silicone clone of his alleged monster dong.
+  * Josh missed his family Thanksgiving because he overslept.
+  * In January 2020, trolls would discover that they could irritate Josh by cancelling his pizza orders. For obvious reasons, Josh would not take this well.
+  * January would also mark the appearance of Josh's Brown La-Z boy, an infamous precursor to [[objects:The Dead Dog Chair]].
 ==== Sources ====