sagas:the_low_volume_saga
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sagas:the_low_volume_saga [2024/06/20 21:00] – created stuffedcrustfrompapajohnswithextracheeseextrabacononionsjalapenosandanchoviesdoodt | sagas:the_low_volume_saga [2025/03/29 20:52] (current) – stuffedcrustfrompapajohnswithextracheeseextrabacononionsjalapenosandanchoviesdoodt | ||
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====== The Low Volume Saga ====== | ====== The Low Volume Saga ====== | ||
+ | The **Low Volume Saga**, also sometimes referred to as the Grease Saga, is the series of time where Josh fucked up a setting on his camera, causing his videos to be incredibly low volume and difficult to watch for a time. This would be a particularly difficult time to be a Cobra Fan, as Josh would be coming hot off the heels of his breakup with [[characters: | ||
+ | ===== Characters Overview ===== | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==== Major Characters ==== | ||
+ | ***[[characters: | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==== Minor Characters ==== | ||
+ | ***[[characters: | ||
+ | ***[[characters: | ||
+ | ***[[characters: | ||
+ | ***[[characters: | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | ===== Set Up ===== | ||
+ | |||
+ | With the departure of Stephanie and the closure Josh so needed, the need to carry on persisted. Josh would venture forwards towards his inevitable Boglim state. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ===== Key Events ===== | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==== A new girlfriend ==== | ||
+ | |||
+ | Josh would ring in the new year by announcing that he had a new girlfriend already. Her name was Judy, and she was a single mom who seldom would appear in Josh's videos - Clearly, Josh had learned from keeping Stephanie in frame and receiving judgment from his fans on how he treated his women. It is believed the two met through Matt, the same man who Stephanie cheated on Josh with. This relationship would not last long, as Josh would express disinterest in raising another man's children, breaking up after roughly a week. In a rare moment of rational thinking, Josh would say that he couldn' | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==== The love quest continues ==== | ||
+ | |||
+ | Josh would open an account on HornyAffairs(a scam dating site) to little success. A few days into this, Josh would consider paying for premium access, valued at $100 for six months. Additionally during his travels to the Sand Bar around this time, Josh would claim to stop a bar fight after he pulled a knife on a man spilling his beer. Josh would continue lamenting his single status, signing up on OKCupid, where Josh would claim to get into contact with a goth chick who was into Cradle of Filth, who lived in Casper, Wyoming! If this sounds extremely unlikely, that's because it is. Josh got catfished, despite his vigilance on trolls. A secondary catfish by the name of Bleak Rainbow would also slide into Josh's DMs, causing him much distress, unable to determine if this was a real person. Despite numerous videos trying to convince Josh she was real, Josh would back out, paranoid of The Troles. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==== Ami ==== | ||
+ | |||
+ | In late February, Josh would pick up another new girlfriend, this time called Ami. Meeting her through Judy, Ami was also a single mother like Judy, but came with the added bonus of having no teeth. Their relationship would be even shorter than Josh and Judy' | ||
+ | Josh would delete his HornyAffairs account the very next day. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==== A failed date ==== | ||
+ | |||
+ | Josh would make a video where within, he would make a spurious claim that he had A) gone on another date with a woman and B) had been unable to have sex with her due to his dick being too large for the woman. Other claims would include him spilling his drink on the lady's skirt(which is slightly more believable than Josh actually managing to wrangle a date out of a lady), and that on her way out the unlucky woman told Josh "If you made more money and your dick was smaller, I'd consider going out with you." | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==== Inspecting apartments and females ==== | ||
+ | |||
+ | During a bi-yearly inspection of the apartments, Josh's landlord would find cigarette burns in the carpet of the apartment, and told the Boy that if he was to continue, he would be forced to smoke outside - A fate worse than death. Josh would address these claims in a video, seemingly while 4 cigarettes deep, the smoke in the room thick enough to reduce the bitrate. | ||
+ | |||
+ | During this time, Josh would set his crosshairs on a woman working in the Casper Mall by the name of Felicia, although it's difficult to discern if this was actually her name - this would not be the first time Josh would use Felicia in conjecture with a girl he liked - buying the iconic weed piercings from her and forcibly driving them into his ear lobe. Never missing an opportunity, | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==== " | ||
+ | |||
+ | You read that right, [[https:// | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==== The sixth album and Sand Bar Shenanigans ==== | ||
+ | |||
+ | On May 12, 2015, Josh would release [[albums: | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==== Judy Returns ==== | ||
+ | |||
+ | Judy would return to the Cobraverse in a video titled "good times and drinks all around" | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==== Psychotic activities ==== | ||
+ | |||
+ | After a year of having his shotgun, Josh would finally get the opportunity to shoot it on June 29th, 2015 in the video " | ||
+ | Additionally during this time, Josh would talk about " | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==== The quality gets worse ==== | ||
+ | |||
+ | Sometime around August, the video camera Josh used would begin to degrade in quality. Having an issue with authority, Josh would refuse to change this for several months, making it even more difficult to be a Cobra fan. To make up for this dip in quality, however, YouTube would be treated to a video of him at The Sand Bar, wherein Josh would be very obnoxious, singing and dancing for the camera, and spilling his fourth beer on himself. \\ | ||
+ | In September, Josh would allow Judy and her family to move in with him for the time being, and would introduce a new player into the Cobraverse, [[characters: | ||
+ | |||
+ | ===== Significance ===== | ||
+ | |||
+ | Perhaps the most important takeaway from this saga is Josh's ability to get women, although it's clear none quite filled the void that Stephanie left behind. Josh would continue to look for The One regardless of this, and this would be the beginning of Cobes' first multi-year dry spell. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ===== Trivia ===== | ||
+ | * In a moment of bizarre synchronicity, | ||
+ | * We would get our first implications that Josh was into goth chicks farting during this saga. | ||
+ | * Josh claims he attempted suicide at least once during this saga. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ===== Infamous Quotes ===== | ||
+ | |||
+ | * //"So apparently there' | ||
+ | * //"If I'm sleeping and there' | ||
+ | * //"If I have to get a [[objects: | ||
+ | |||
+ | {{page>: |
sagas/the_low_volume_saga.1718917211.txt.gz · Last modified: 2024/06/20 21:00 by stuffedcrustfrompapajohnswithextracheeseextrabacononionsjalapenosandanchoviesdoodt