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sagas:the_wandmaker_saga [2024/10/19 01:26] – stuffedcrustfrompapajohnswithextracheeseextrabacononionsjalapenosandanchoviesdoodtsagas:the_wandmaker_saga [2025/02/08 22:44] (current) – stuffedcrustfrompapajohnswithextracheeseextrabacononionsjalapenosandanchoviesdoodt
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-{{page>:blurbs#Stub}} 
 ====== The Wandmaker Saga ====== ====== The Wandmaker Saga ======
  
-**The Wandmaker Saga** is the era in history where Josh would introduce his best money-making scheme yet in the inception of [[art:wand business|Cobra Craft Wands]]. This saga is particularly infamous, as this would be the start of several new forms of trolling - Mail trolling, Wellness Checkers, and the anime imageboard classic of sending pizzas to people you don't like. This saga would span from December of 2017 to November of 2019, the beginning of [[sagas:The Ellen Saga]].  +**The Wandmaker Saga** is the era in history where Josh would introduce his best money-making scheme yet in the inception of [[art:wand business|Cobra Craft Wands]]. This saga is particularly infamous, as this would be the start of several new forms of trolling - Mail trolling, Wellness Checkers, and the anime imageboard classic of sending pizzas to people you don't like. This saga would span from December of 2017 to summer of 2018, the beginning of [[sagas:The Rage Saga]].  
  
-Josh insists quite often that this is his business and his livelihood. The accuracy of this claim is dubious at best, as his lives primarily off his governmental SSI checks and has never truly invested any of his profit into expansion or the purchase of proper tools. What Josh instead invests in is copious amounts of fast food, miscellaneous gas station items, Chatterbate donations and very regular substance abuse.+Josh insists quite often that this is his business and his livelihood. The accuracy of this claim is dubious at best, as his lives primarily off his governmental SSI checks and has never truly invested any of his profit into expansion or the purchase of proper tools. What Josh instead invests in is copious amounts of fast food, miscellaneous gas station items, Chaturbate donations and very regular substance abuse.
  
 This would be considered by many to be the the twilight of KingCobraJFS' quality content, as Josh would spend much of his time getting up to bizarre antics across Casper, chilling with multiple homeboys(sometimes as many as two in a video), and occasionally getting action. Much like his business, it would eventually come to ruin, a veritable empire of dirt. This would be considered by many to be the the twilight of KingCobraJFS' quality content, as Josh would spend much of his time getting up to bizarre antics across Casper, chilling with multiple homeboys(sometimes as many as two in a video), and occasionally getting action. Much like his business, it would eventually come to ruin, a veritable empire of dirt.
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   ***[[characters:KingCobraJFS]]:** Josh is once again single with the loss of Summer. Rife with betrayals, a hairline that is more of a hair-crater, and still no job, the Boglim transformation is almost complete. His lazy eye has gotten so bad that it's nearly 90 degrees to the right of his good eye, and he is hiding his receding hairline with a black do-rag.   ***[[characters:KingCobraJFS]]:** Josh is once again single with the loss of Summer. Rife with betrayals, a hairline that is more of a hair-crater, and still no job, the Boglim transformation is almost complete. His lazy eye has gotten so bad that it's nearly 90 degrees to the right of his good eye, and he is hiding his receding hairline with a black do-rag.
-  ***[[characters:Gothic Dee]]:** Dee would have a short-lived appearance in this saga, dealing the worst possible insult to Josh in the process by calling him a fake goth. 
-  ***[[characters:Homeboy Scotty]]:** Showing up in a particularly infamous stream, Scotty's appearance in the Cobraverse  has become exceptionally diminished at this stage.  
- 
  
 ==== Minor Characters ==== ==== Minor Characters ====
  
-  ***[[characters:Casper Police Department]]:** Josh would be swatted [[incidents:cobra gets SWATTED|numerous times]] during this saga, which would build a familiarity between local authorities and Josh Saunders.  
   ***[[characters:Alex Anderson]]:** Alex Anderson would make brief cameos in a number of videos during this time, although for the most part he remains out of camera.   ***[[characters:Alex Anderson]]:** Alex Anderson would make brief cameos in a number of videos during this time, although for the most part he remains out of camera.
-  ***[[characters:Warlord]]:** Warlord would make sporadic appearances during this saga, not always necessarily in person either.+
  
 ===== Set Up ===== ===== Set Up =====
  
-Just before Josh's breakup with Summer, Josh would show a rare spark of creativity and begin talking about possibly setting up a business of making wands. Not letting his breakup deter him, Josh would eventually use this to springboard his greatest business endeavor yet by picking up random twigs and selling them for high value(Approx. $24 USD each). Josh would return to Facebook streaming on January 13th, 2018.+Just before Josh's breakup with Summer, Josh would show a rare spark of creativity and begin talking about possibly setting up a business of making wands(Sometimes spelt "juans" due in part to Josh's inability to speak). Not letting his breakup deter him, Josh would eventually use this to springboard his greatest business endeavor yet by picking up random twigs and selling them for high value(Approx. $24 USD each). Josh would return to Facebook streaming on January 13th, 2018.
  
 ===== Timeline of Events ===== ===== Timeline of Events =====
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 Josh would also try out the Blue Apron company's line of meals during this month, starting with a salmon plate. Not used to making actual food that isn't coated in grease, hot sauce, and Country Crock, Josh would completely fuck it up, charring the salmon pitch-black. Josh would also try out the Blue Apron company's line of meals during this month, starting with a salmon plate. Not used to making actual food that isn't coated in grease, hot sauce, and Country Crock, Josh would completely fuck it up, charring the salmon pitch-black.
  
-==== An old adversary ====+Josh would also get banned from //another// location, this time the Loaf and Jug gas station. Josh would need to drop a deuce, and while "passing time" started slapping his knees. However, this lead people to believe that he was cranking his hog in the restroom, loud enough to be heard at the register.   
 + 
 +==== An old adversary and a new one ====
  
 Josh would carry on streaming and making videos at a regular pace, attempting to accept his baldness by simply letting what remained of his hair grow out past shoulder-length. At this point, Josh's skull would start peeking through the blasted remains of his hair, like a baby chickling hatching from an egg. Josh would carry on streaming and making videos at a regular pace, attempting to accept his baldness by simply letting what remained of his hair grow out past shoulder-length. At this point, Josh's skull would start peeking through the blasted remains of his hair, like a baby chickling hatching from an egg.
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 As usual, Josh would attempt The Star Spangled Banner for the Fourth of July and immediately screw it up, leading to a tard rage. Not long after this, we would also get the infamous Clown Makeup Stream, where Josh would go to town on his own face with black makeup, including a poorly-drawn upside-down pentagram, an upside-down cross, and black lips so large Justin Trudeau could have taken inspiration from it. As usual, Josh would attempt The Star Spangled Banner for the Fourth of July and immediately screw it up, leading to a tard rage. Not long after this, we would also get the infamous Clown Makeup Stream, where Josh would go to town on his own face with black makeup, including a poorly-drawn upside-down pentagram, an upside-down cross, and black lips so large Justin Trudeau could have taken inspiration from it.
  
-==== The Gothic Dee Feud ==== +Josh would also begin stalking and preparing random gifts for Ellen, the daughter of one of his neighbors. **[[sagas:the_ellen_saga|This would have lasting consequences.]]**
-//for more information on this Incident, check out the full page [[incidents:the_gothic_dee_feud|here.]]//+
  
-The Gothic Dee Feud would espouse when Gothic Dee would be baited into giving Josh a shoutout on one of her livestreams. Being a Goth girl with Asperger's Syndrome as well, it was only natural that the two would immediately go at each others' throats over misunderstandings. Goaded into drama by the Troles, Josh and Dee would have a bitter back-and-forth where Gothic Dee would call Josh the absolute worst thing she possibly could: **Not a real goth.** This insult would not only rock Josh to his core, but would also sic the Cobraverse on poor Gothic Dee. 
  
-==== Subway gets pulled into Cobraverse drama ====+===== Significance =====
  
-In July, Josh would have a Facebook stream featuring a rarity in this saga: An appearance from the late [[characters:Homeboy Scotty]]. During this stream, Homeboy Scotty would be badgered in Facebook stream chat and through DMs by his ex-girlfriend Tina, who had since become a junkie. During this stream, Josh would attempt to cull Scotty's and Tina's domestic dispute while reviewing a Subway sandwich, apologizing to Subway for the drama in this simple, wholesome review. The stream would peak when Tina showed up to Josh's apartment and climbed through the window of his apartment with one of his two daughters. Josh being the godfather of Scotty's children would attempt to keep things pleasant and relaxed to no avail. \\ +The Wandmaker Saga was the last true showing of Josh's creative side, as not long after his first eviction Josh would lose much of his interest in making music, wands, or really anything. While it was a positive time in his life getting such significant financial assistance from his fans and trolls, the success of Cobra Craft Wands would eventually slip from Josh's greasy boglim fingers.
-Josh would issue a formal apology to Subway for the actions in his stream. +
- +
-==== Employment is a want, not a need ==== +
- +
-The rest of the summer would pass with little consequence, outside of Josh releasing [[albums:Hell's advocate]] and protesting the (allegedly) unlawful arrest of [[characters:Jeremy Rogers]], who threw a soda bottle (allegedly) full of urine at a police officer. In the fall however, Josh would start new avenues of entertainment, including fooling around with a taser, which he would light a cigarette with, as well as shocking himself. +
- +
-Josh would announce that September that he had put in his two week's notice in at [[locations:The Office Bar and Grill]], citing that Cobra Craft Wands was a better financial avenue for him to explore. This would come as a bit of a shock, as Josh's year-and-a-half tenure had been surprisingly stable, especially given the higher volume of trolling in recent years. +
- +
-==== The Feud Ends ==== +
- +
-Running parallel to this saga in between streams of Josh choking himself out over not getting mustard packs in his fast food order, the Gothic Dee Feud would continue when Josh was convinced by a troll that Gothic Dee was making her own wands. Josh would put a curse on Gothic Dee's alleged wand business, so mote it be in the witches circle. However, this curse would misfire, and Gothic Dee's channel would instead take the brunt of this magical assault: Having dealt with too much bullying, Dee would vanish from the internet in short order, her presence in the Cobraverse a tragedy of trolling and misunderstandings. +
- +
-A troll would buy the website domain for Cobra Craft Wands, redirecting the link to a gay porn video, allegedly of [[characters:warlord|Alex "Warlord" Campbell]]. +
- +
-==== Meeting his idol ==== +
- +
-In October, Josh would attend an Ozzy Osbourne concert on October 2nd in Denver Colorado, unsharpened wand in tow. In fact, ExhumedVisions was going to drive all the way down from Washington State to cart Josh up to the concert. Sporting his new tactical soap, painting his nails black, using sharpie in lieu of eyeliner, and wearing his Ozzy(actually a Black Sabbath) T-shirt for several days, Josh would arrive halfway through. Josh would claim that during the concert, another concert-goer would recognize him, shouting "Gothic King Cobra! Now it's a party!", a now-famous phrase in the Cobraverse. The concert would reaffirm Josh's adoration for Ozzy, as Josh would mail off his magic wand he custom-built for the dark prince. +
- +
- +
- +
-===== Significance =====+
  
 ===== Trivia ===== ===== Trivia =====
   * Josh would break his phone **4 times** during this saga.   * Josh would break his phone **4 times** during this saga.
-  * Josh would change between four separate chairs during this saga, a record not bested to this day 
-  * We would learn that Josh is into goth girls farting after a troll video was sent to him during the Gothic Dee Feud. 
-  * Josh admits in a July stream that he shit himself on one occasion. 
-  * Josh's alcoholism is starting to become more serious, as in a September video Josh is seen mixing a drink combo before noon. Josh justified this by saying he doesn't do it all the time. 
   * The pipe he had spent a lot of money on breaks during this saga.   * The pipe he had spent a lot of money on breaks during this saga.
-  * This saga marks Josh's first contact with [[objects:Tactical Soap]] in September of 2018. Josh has not stopped shilling the efficacy of this 17-dollar-a-bar soap since. 
  
  
 {{page>:blurbs#The KingCobraJFS Story}} {{page>:blurbs#The KingCobraJFS Story}}
sagas/the_wandmaker_saga.1729301203.txt.gz · Last modified: 2024/10/19 01:26 by stuffedcrustfrompapajohnswithextracheeseextrabacononionsjalapenosandanchoviesdoodt
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