In late 2023 Josh decided to try his hand at making homemade alcohol after watching some videos. Cobe’s love of drinking and the rising cost of alcohol started the homemade wine/mead saga that would last to this day. Cobes claims to be descended from Scottish/Norwegian Vikings on top of being 80% British, thereby staking his claim to meadmaking as part of his culture.

While starting off relatively tame and primitive, using only basic household ingredients and equipment he had on hand, Cobra’s meads would become increasingly outlandish and bizarre as his setup improved, resulting in potions of dark boglimancy that would be fatal if consumed by a mortal man. To date nearly all of Cobra’s meads have been extremely dank, however, since entering the trailer saga, Josh’s creations may be taking a turn towards being milder in dankness.

There are some recurring themes of Cobra’s meads:

• Prior to mead #7, when Cobra got glass jars and stopped fermenting his mead in jugs of juice, Josh would always buy two jugs and drink one to have an empty clean jug to strain his fermented mead into
• Josh has four favourite fruits: mangos, bananas, peaches, and cherries. They feature prominently in many of his meads
• Josh often adds way too much yeast, going up to 20x the recommended amount
• Josh has a sweet tooth and will back-sweeten his meads heavily; that is to say, he adds sugar to the meads after they have finished fermenting
• Josh will often claim that his meads taste just like mead, and that they burn his mouth, back of his throat, and leave a warm feeling in his belly
• Josh often sips on his meads before they are done fermenting. Some fans speculate that he spikes his meads due to them not being alcoholic enough, which is why some fan recreations do not seem to produce the same results as Cobra has
• Unlike his regular drink combos, Cobra generally drinks his meads straight, not mixing them with Mountain Dew or energy drinks. This must mean they most definitely taste good on their own, trole.

Documented below are the meads Cobra has been known to have concocted. As meads take significantly longer to make and being a relatively new hobby for Cobra, only a couple dozen meads exist, in contrast with the hundreds of known food hacks and drink combos. Since there are so few cobra meads, we will catalogue all of them. This may change as more are made. Included as well are attempts by brave individuals to recreate or innovate on the dank meads.

Ingredients:

• 64oz Langer’s 100% Apple Peach Mango juice
• 2 and 2/3 cups pure cane granulated sugar
• 1 packet Fleischmann’s RapidRise Instant Yeast
• some tap water

Aging Time: 9 days

Total Estimated Nutritional Values:

• Calories: 2,770 kcal
• Carbohydrates: 835 g
• Sugars: 835 g
• Protein: 0 g
• Fat: 0 g

On August 26, 2023, Cobra would upload his first winemaking video, starting the homemade wine saga. After pouring out some juice from a 64oz bottle of Langer’s Apple Peach Mango, Josh would measure out a cup of sugar, which he would then funnel with his hand into the bottle, making a mess as he spilled sugar all over the place. He would then pour some sugar directly into the bottle from the sugar packet, shaking vigorously before adding half a packet of Fleischmann’s instant yeast. Bizarrely, Josh would not shake the bottle to incorporate the yeast, choosing instead to rotate the bottle up and down four or five times. Some juice was then added back into the bottle. Josh then claimed he would allow the wine to ferment in his closet for 2-4 weeks before filtering into a clean bottle, burping it every couple days so the bottle wouldn’t explode.

The very same day, Josh would upload a video titled “how to burp your wine”, demonstrating how to unscrew the cap to let out gas. Josh would choose to keep the cap on “tighter than a nun’s cunt” in favour of leaving it slightly loose to let out air by itself. Notably, some hooch was already missing, meaning Cobra was sipping on his homemade hooch from day 1, tainting it with his mouth bacteria. This would prove to be a recurring theme in the saga. Josh would upload a third video that day, showing himself burping the wine and agitating it, while showing signs of fermentation as a thin layer of bubbles started to form.

In a fourth video “Working On my homemade wine” uploaded the very same day, Josh would again tamper with his wine. Reading from the internet that he could add the remaining half packet of yeast, Josh started by adding a whole cup of sugar, causing a reaction that would cause a quarter of his wine to bubble over onto the counter, which he tried to stopper with his sugar cup. Josh then elected to not add anymore yeast, instead topping up the bottle with tap water (a recurring theme in the mead saga). This time Josh would leave the cap slightly unscrewed to let his wine burp on its own.

On August the 31st, a mere 5 days later, Josh would upload a homemade wine update. Again some wine was missing as he continuously sipped on it as it fermented. Josh would again shake his wine, claiming to have burped it everyday, and that it was starting to smell like alcohol.

On September the 4th, Josh would upload a video of himself trying the wine. By this point the wine had been fermenting for only 9 days. Once more, some wine was missing. Josh would claim that the wine was no longer bubbling, so it must be ready for consumption. Josh had earlier that day added 2/3 of a cup of sugar to sweeten the wine. After “sterilising” another 64oz bottle with hot tap water, he would transfer the wine and top it off with tap water. Josh would claim to have used a full packet of yeast, meaning he added another 1/2 a packet somewhere along the way.

Verdict: Josh would claim that his first wine “smells like straight alcohol”, that it “definitely tastes like alcohol I ain’t gonna stunt”, and that “it has a slight burn to it”. Josh would characterise the taste as “not half bad”, with the taste of apples being the strongest, with a hint of peach and a slight tinge of mango. He would claim that it burns his mouth and back of his throat, something he would say about basically every mead he would make to convince himself that he had made alcohol. Over the course of an entire hour Josh would describe how the wine totally had an alcohol burn and tasted like hard cider, consuming a full three goblets. Josh would call homebrewing a form of potion making in the video, finishing by downing a fourth goblet with the Death Nut Challenge. Josh claimed to want to age the wine further, but it was never seen again.

• Source: BogChron

Fan Recreations and Versions

Cobra’s first hooch inspired his cultists to begin their forays into potion making. The first known fan wine was by none other than the CEO of Chairbugs

• CEO of Chairbugs: 1

Ingredients:

• 1 gal Tampico Mango Punch
• 2 cups pure cane granulated sugar
• 16 oz Local Hive Rocky Mountain Raw Unfiltered Honey
• 1 packet Fleischmann’s RapidRise Instant Yeast

Aging Time: 14 days

Total Estimated Nutritional Values:

• Calories: 4,200 kcal
• Carbohydrates: 1,104 g
• Sugars: 1,104 g
• Protein: 0 g
• Fat: 0 g

On September 7, 2023, Josh would upload his first true meadmaking video, having gotten his hands on some actual honey. Josh intended to use bread yeast, but could not find any. It should be noted that Tampico contains potassium sorbate, a preservative that hinders fermentation. After pouring out some juice, Josh would add two cups of sugar to the gallon jug using a crude paper funnel, which undoubtedly some fans taught him to do. Josh added a whole bottle of honey and a packet of yeast, shaking to no avail, as the honey remained unmixed at the bottom of the jug. Josh then left the cap half unscrewed and put the jar in his closet. On the same day, Josh would devise a homemade airlock by making a hole in the cap with a metal punch tool and covering the cap with a yellow balloon and some painter’s tape. In a shout-out video the next day, Josh would show the wine, with some juice having bubbled into the balloon. Balloons contain some really nasty chemicals, so Josh ended up changing the balloon for a black one he considered to be much cooler. It is commendable as Josh did not seem to have sipped from his bottle for two whole days.

On September 13, a mere 6 days later, Josh would post a mead update, showing his fermenting mead, which had formed a layer of foam. He would claim the mead smelled bready, before immediately sipping some straight from the jug. He would recap it and go on to shake the jug for about 5 minutes, agitating the mead. Josh then said that he would check it again on the 21st, 2 weeks from the day he made it.

Remarkably, Josh managed to wait until the 21st, transferring the mead into a “sanitized” jug, spilling some of it, and wiping it up with his dirty shirt. Strangely, Josh never did a proper review of mead #2, only commenting in a video uploaded on September 23 that it “knocked him onto his ass” (reminder to self, someone told me Josh drank it live and this is wrong. Better not put false information in your own page, BOY -meadgodxxx)

• Source: BogChron

Ingredients:

• 1/2 gal Hawaiian Punch Swell Strawberry Banana Juice Drink
• 2 cans (11.3 oz) Jumex Strawberry-Banana Nectar
• 5 cups pure cane granulated sugar
• 16 oz Local Hive Rocky Mountain Pure Unfiltered Honey
• 1 Dole banana roughly chopped
• approx 1 1/2 cups halved strawberries
• 1 packet Lalvin EC-1118 winemaking yeast

Aging Time: 13 days

Total Estimated Nutritional Values:

• Calories: 5,707.5 kcal
• Carbohydrates: 1,475 g
• Sugars: 1,450.5 g
• Protein: 3 g
• Fat: 0 g

Estimated Cost: $20.35 (as of September 2023 in Wyoming)

On September 22, 2023, Josh would upload his third mead. A fan had sent Josh some EC-1118 winemaking yeast, which can brew alcohol up to 18% ABV, a big upgrade over instant yeast. The fans also sent a funnel, which he would use to add 2 cups of sugar to his mead. This is the first time Josh would add fruit to his mead. After adding all the ingredients, washing out the honey bottle with some tap water and adding it to the mix, Josh would give his mead a good shake before adding an entire packet of EC-1118 yeast. One packet of yeast is enough for 5 whole gallons of wine, meaning Cobes had added 5 times the amount of yeast required. Josh would continue to use his improvised airlock, drilling a hole in the cap, attaching a balloon and securing it with a rubber band (or ponytail holder in cobra speech). The next day, September the 23rd, Josh would upload a video titled “Mead thoughts”, where after having made just 3 batches of hooch, Cobes would feel qualified to give pro-tips on brewing. In the video Josh claimed he would let the wine ferment for an entire month. Josh would also show the mead on camera with the slightly inflated balloon and a layer of honey unmixed at the bottom. Josh then posted three videos over the course of the next three days, visibly agitating the wine and burping it.

On September 30, Josh posted a mead straining video. Josh started by huffing the CO2 out of the balloon (this doesn’t get you high by the way), then attempting to pour the mead through a too-big strainer into a new jug with the same small opening, spilling juice all over the counter. After this first failed attempt, Josh would put his hand over the mouth of the bottle to strain the juice through his fingers, but still some fruit got in anyway. Josh then added 3(!) more cups of sugar, swishing the leftover liquid from the fermentation jug into the clean one with tap water. The next day Josh would remove the remaining fruit by picking it out with a fork.

Verdict: On October 4, in the famous now deleted catfood Big Mac livestream, after just 13 days, Josh would try four or five glasses of his mead, claiming that it tastes like mead, barely, and that it burns like mead. Once more Josh would claim that the mead burns the back of his throat, leaves a warm feeling in his tummy, and that it tastes delicious. In a rare display of boglim math, Josh would explain that since one packet of yeast makes 5 gallons, having it in one gallon of wine would “scientifically and chemistry speaking make a more potent wine”. He also decided his mead was ready because “12 is an even number of days”. Josh claimed to have felt tipsy and actually got drunk by the end of the stream. On October 5, Josh would upload another video of him trying the mead, claiming that it was delicious.

• Source: BogChron

Fan Recreations and Versions

CEO of Chairbugs would blaze the trail again, making the first known fan-made true cobra mead

• CEO of Chairbugs: 1, 2, 3

Ingredients:

• 2 cups pure cane granulated sugar
• 16 oz Local Hive Rocky Mountain Pure Unfiltered Honey
• 2 Dole bananas broken in half
• 1 bottle (7.25oz) Reese’s Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Shell Topping
• 1 packet Reese's Miniatures Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups Candy, Share Pack (10.5 oz)
• 1 container (3 oz) Hormel Real Bacon Bits Topping
• 1 heaping spoonful of Jif Creamy Peanut Butter
• approx 2 cups Langers Mongo Mango Juice Cocktail
• 2 packets Lalvin EC-1118 winemaking yeast

Aging Time: 25 days

Total Estimated Nutritional Values:

• Calories: 5,383 kcal
• Carbohydrates: 1,012g
• Sugars: 961g
• Protein: 36g
• Fat: 130.5g
• Sodium: 2.5g

Estimated Cost: $27.80 (as of October 2023 in Wyoming)

On October 6, 2023, Josh would upload the video “new flavor of mead”, creating his first signature flavor, never before concocted in the history of mankind. Now confident in his meadmaking abilities and no longer in need of a flat surface for his equipment, Josh would make this mead sitting right on his dead dog chair. In a show of financial literacy, Cobra would spend nearly twice as much on his jenkem brew as an equivalent bottle of liquor would cost, while creating something with almost twice the caloric density of any of his previous meads. After adding most of the ingredients to his bottle, Josh would shake his mead vigorously before trying to insert bacon bits through his funnel, leading to the famous cobraism “bacon’s clogging up the funnel”. Josh argued that since the bacon bits were already cooked and cured, they wouldn’t go funky in the mead. With that done, Cobra would add the peanut butter before finally topping up his drink with mango juice and spending almost an entire two minutes desperately shaking the bottle to attempt, and fail, to mix the extremely viscous and solid chunks now present in his mead. The resulting mixture would come to resemble jenkem, a hallucinogenic drug made from fermented human waste. Unsatisfied with the absolute viscosity of his creation, Josh then drank some of it, chewing on the solid bits that ended up in his mouth before topping off the bottle with additional mango juice. Cobra added an entire packet of yeast to his initial mead, this time using 10x the recommended amount per volume. Josh would use the same balloon airlock as he did with the previous two meads, although his first drilled cap fell into the drain and he had to use a spare. Satisfied with his jenkem wine, Josh would leave it to ferment in his mead closet. Being the first of the true boglim meads, Josh would claim in a video uploaded the next day that it was a halloween-themed mead, and that he might leave it to ferment until the 31st.

In a mead update video the next day, Josh stated that the mead had once again foamed up into the balloon, leading him to have to drain out some of it, add tap water to make it more liquid, and change the balloon, it is what is is. Josh then added a second packet of yeast, in total using 20x the recommended amount. Unable to resist his delicious monstrosity, Josh drank some of his mead to “drain off some of the liquid to give it room to burp”. With absolutely no care for hygiene, Josh filtered the bacon bits with his teeth, using his fingers to push any solids back in the neck of the bottle and licking them clean, and even licking the inside of the cap. Cobra really enjoyed the taste of the pre-fermented mead. A few hours later, the mead overflowed into the balloon again, and Josh uploaded a new video, unscrewing the lid a little to let it burp. Josh then licked the cap and held the balloon in his mouth before replacing it. Josh uploaded a third video on October 7, showing off the inflating mead balloon. Josh also stated that he had acquired some turbo yeast.

The jenkem mead was spotted on the 14th of October in a closet with meads #5 and #6. In the same video Cobra showed off some winemaking jars with airlocks sent by the fans. The mead made more appearances in a homemade mead update video on the 16th, in some shorts dated 8th and 13th of October in the fermenting closet, and again in a video on the 19th where Cobra stated that some of it exploded into his sink (most of the mead remained and was returned to the closet).

Verdict: The mead was finally reviewed on Halloween, by which point it no longer resembled anything like the initial mixture. It is unknown if this is the result of filtration or because Cobra had drunk most of it and replaced it with other liquids, but the scum from the ingredients can be seen floating in Cobra’s goblet. Cobes stated that he could taste the peanut butter, the bacon, a hint of banana, and “afternotes” of peanut butter. There was a saltiness and bit of smokiness to it, and Cobra’s final verdict was that it was not bad, that he would “fuck with it”, and that he would drink the entire thing so as not to waste it. Unfortunately, it did “not quite have the effect he was going for”, and was not as good as mead #6.

• Sources: Bogchron 1, 2, 3

Fan Recreations and Versions

As the first true and honest boglim mead, mead #4 has inspired fans to remake it.

• AtamanRuslanRFS: 1, 2 (WIP)

Ingredients

• Distilled water
• 4 bananas (chopped)
• shit ton of pure cane granulated sugar
• 2 packets Lalvin EC-1118 Winemaking Yeast

Aging Time: 10-11 days

Total Estimated Nutritional Values: Unknown

Estimated Cost: Unknown

In a YouTube short posted to his channel on the 9th of October, 2023, Cobra thanked the trolls for sending him a gallon of distilled water, with which he made a banana wine. Out of balloons, Josh used a condom (also graciously doordashed by the trolls) in his homemade airlock. Having run out of honey, this is Cobra’s second non-mead wine. By October 13, the condom would be replaced by a yellow balloon. The banana wine was filmed in videos on the 13th, 14th, and 16th of October by which time a thick layer of residue had settled on the bottom. Josh had intended to strain the wine on the 18th and to let it age until Halloween, but in true boglim fashion, drank most of it before it came of age.

Verdict: The banana wine was last seen on the 20th of October in the video Shredding guitar drinking wine, with Josh stating that he had been drinking it over the course of two days and showing the nearly empty bottle and then downing a goblet. Judging by the chunks it had not been filtered. The wine had by then only aged for 10-11 days. Cobra made a comment on the video, proclaiming the basic banana wine to be “dank”

Ingredients:

• 1 gal Mott’s 100% Original Apple Juice
• 4 cups+ pure cane granulated sugar
• 16 oz Local Hive Rocky Mountain Pure Unfiltered Honey
• 1 bottle Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cinnadust Seasoning Blend (5.5 oz)
• 1 lb Kraft America’s Classic Caramels (bulk pack from CrazyOutlet if that matters)
• 1 royal gala apple roughly chopped
• 1 packet Barrel Brew 24hr Turbo Yeast with AG (17g, makes 1/2 gal)
• tap water to top it off

Aging Time: 10-21 days

Total Estimated Nutritional Values:

• Calories: 6,229 kcal
• Carbohydrates: 1,952 g
• Sugars: 1,929 g
• Protein: 4.5 g
• Fat: 11.2 g

Estimated Cost: $34.00 (as of October 2023 in Wyoming)

On October the 9th, 2023, Josh would upload a full video of himself making the aforementioned mead. In a departure from his previous endeavours, Josh would use turbo yeast instead of winemaking yeast. The yeast was first mentioned during a mead update for the chocolate mead on October 7, where he would state that a fan had sent him some Barrel Brew 24hr Turbo Yeast with AG. Turbo yeast, unlike other strains and combinations, can tolerate high alcohol concentrations and produces alcohol fast in exchange for taste, since it is usually used in spirits where flavour doesn’t matter as much after distillation. Using it for mead is probably not a good idea since it could make it taste exceptionally rank.

While making the mead Cobra would pour out about 3 glasses of mixture minus the yeast due to his ingredients not fitting in the jug, describing the flavour as “swinging”. Originally two cups of sugar were added. Cobes would for the first time ever bloom his yeast, hydrating it in hot tap water before adding it to his mead. Cobes would use the same homemade airlock system, with a pink balloon for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, TWU. Josh decided to allow the mead to ferment for 24hrs, as per turbo yeast instructions, then age for one week after. As part of the original Halloween mead trio, the apple mead would ferment concurrently with meads #4 and #5. It was bottled after 9 days on October 18, then, intending to add two more cups of sugar to back-sweeten it, Cobra accidentally added the whole bag. It is what it is.

Verdict: Mead #6 was sampled on October 19, proclaimed to be delicious, and then sipped on for the next 12 days until Halloween, when it appeared again nearly empty. Cobra found the mead “really good”, and would “absolutely remake it”. It has been confirmed in a correspondence with Josh that this is his favourite mead he’s ever made, and was remade as mead #14 and given the name Apple Silk. This is to date the only mead deemed worthy of a remake.

Ingredients:

• approx 10 CHIPS AHOY! Original Chocolate Chip Cookies (crushed)
• 2 cups pure cane granulated sugar
• 16 oz Local Hive Rocky Mountain Raw Unfiltered Honey
• 1 can (12 oz) La Costeña Sliced Jalapeños Pickled Jalapeño Peppers (contains carrots and onions) [yes the whole can with the pickling liquid]
• 2 bananas (roughly chopped)
• 2 cans (16 oz) Monster Energy Original
• top up with Aquafina Purified Drinking Water
• 1 packet Lalvin EC-1118 Champagne Yeast

Aging Time: 14 days

Total Estimated Nutritional Values:

• Calories: 3,810 kcal
• Carbohydrates: 849 g
• Sugars: 736 g
• Protein: 11 g
• Fat: 30.6 g
• Sodium: 1,912 mg
• Caffeine: 160 mg

Total Estimated Cost: $25.60 (as of October 2023 in Wyoming)

On the 23rd of October, 2023, Josh concocted arguably the most powerful magic potion to have graced the earth, sending shockwaves across the winemaking world and inspiring cobra cultists worldwide to attempt to replicate it.

After receiving glass jars with airlocks from his fans, this is the first mead Josh would make using the new equipment in a new video

After being banned from YouTube following a strike, Josh would upload the following video to Facebook on November 11, 2023. Homelizard Puff would go missing during the aging process of this mead, which is MDNWU.

On the 27th of November, 2023, Josh uploaded a video series of him making a new mead with canned fruits.

Never content with boring old alcohol, on the 29th of November, Josh would brew an entirely new mead.

On December the 2nd, 2023, Josh uploaded a video, in which he made another caffeinated mead with Monster energy and candies

On December the 17th, 2023, video

On December the 18th, 2023, video

Kicking off the new year, on January 5th, 2024, Josh uploaded a video of himself making his all time favourite mead. This is in fact a remake of mead #6 with a few adjustments, such as the addition of another apple, the use of a different brand of turbo yeast, and the addition of yeast nutrient.

On February the 8th, 2024, Josh would upload a video

As part of the NakedAndLaughing Saga, Josh would have the idea of making a personal mead for him and Jessica to enjoy. In a video dated 5th of march, Josh created an extremely spicy mead to be enjoyed on his 33rd birthday together with his boghag girlfriend.

Pioneering the everlasting booze hack, Josh would add extra ingredients to his half-empty mead, reviewing the mixture in the following video

On the 20th of May, 2024, Josh uploaded a video of himself making an extra dank mead with skittles and skittles-related products. This is the first mead Cobra would make after being evicted and resettling in a trailer.

Made on the 23rd of July, 2024, the grape mead is perhaps the most normal mead Cobra has ever brewed. Unlike the regular insane meads, Josh maintained a relatively normal and sterile environment making it.