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| activities:cooking [2024/06/22 23:42] – [Notable meals] cobrastan | activities:cooking [2025/03/17 22:25] (current) – stuffedcrustfrompapajohnswithextracheeseextrabacononionsjalapenosandanchoviesdoodt |
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| It would seem that cobes has recognized that, and moved from "Cooking with Cobra" to the ominous "Food Hacks" - if you read that, and had no idea what kind of a person Josh is, you could possibly expect modifications of famous recipes, making them more convenient, cutting corners while making most of it, etc. Well, throw that out of the window (after [[characters:puff_saunders|Puff]]), because Jorp's idea of a "food hack" is to hack together bunch of crap, Epic Meal style, except imagine a dirty unwashed autist, too stupid to use knife and fork, and you get a decent idea of what kind of biohazard we end up with. Some people speculate that given the boy's diet, switching to normal food would kill him at this point. | It would seem that cobes has recognized that, and moved from "Cooking with Cobra" to the ominous "Food Hacks" - if you read that, and had no idea what kind of a person Josh is, you could possibly expect modifications of famous recipes, making them more convenient, cutting corners while making most of it, etc. Well, throw that out of the window (after [[characters:puff_saunders|Puff]]), because Jorp's idea of a "food hack" is to hack together bunch of crap, Epic Meal style, except imagine a dirty unwashed autist, too stupid to use knife and fork, and you get a decent idea of what kind of biohazard we end up with. Some people speculate that given the boy's diet, switching to normal food would kill him at this point. |
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| ^{{ :the-architect.webp?nolink&400|}} | | ^{{:the-architect.webp?nolink&400|}} | |
| |Josh building the Tower of Babel out of sandwiches| | |Josh building the Tower of Babel out of sandwiches| |
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| [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twFQAFIR04o|Sushi Pizza]] - Do you really want to ask? | [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twFQAFIR04o|Sushi Pizza]] - Do you really want to ask? |
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| | {{:activities:cobes-mac-n-cheese.png?nolink&90 |}} |
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| | [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufKd2vUkFr0|DANK Mac 'n' Cheese]] - How to make Mac 'N Cheese that looks like mashed potatoes that were already in somebody's stomach. From the comments: It pairs great with apple sauce, monster, canned salmon and dark rum. M’lord has the palette of a swamp rat. |
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| {{:objects:bogritto-1.png?nolink&90 |}} | {{:objects:bogritto-1.png?nolink&90 |}} |
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| [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0L2wgKFsBg|The Bedbug Burrito]] - Nothing like extra protein in your day old bogrito you left sitting out for all the bedbugs to enjoy, well turns out some of the bedbugs can't escape fast enough and end up lodged between boy's remaining teeth. Doubtlessly one of the nastiest things you can see the boy doing, several bedbugs have been harmed while making the video. | [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0L2wgKFsBg|The Bedbug Burrito]] - The key to getting extra protein into your day old bogrrito is to leave it sitting out for all the bedbugs to enjoy. Seeing the boy crunch on actual bugs (that are trying to desperately hide within the rotting burrito) isn't for the faint of heart, doubtlessly one of the nastiest things Jorp has ever done. Some have accussed the boy of cannibalism, but his bugs ancestry has yet to be proven. |
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| | {{:activities:catburger-disaster.png?nolink&90 |}} |
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| | [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XpAWKNHACY|Cat Food Burger]] - When do you do, when trolls send you cat food? End sickos by wolfing it down, of course! Jorp puts reverse psychology onto another level. Incredibly disgusting to humans, a tasty treat for a boglim. Probably the healthiest meal he has eaten in years. And he enjoyed it, as he scarfed it down without any hesitation. |
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| | ^{{:activities:jorp-micahwave.png?nolink&400|}} | |
| | |Boglim being hypnotized by the micahwave| |
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| * **Playing with your food** - What's the point of cooking, if you don't have some fun with it? Endlessly poking into your food is just a way to add some much needed entertainment to otherwise serious and by the numbers process. Recommends 8 out of 10 toddlers. That's what's up! | * **Playing with your food** - What's the point of cooking, if you don't have some fun with it? Endlessly poking into your food is just a way to add some much needed entertainment to otherwise serious and by the numbers process. Recommends 8 out of 10 toddlers. That's what's up! |
| * **Opening cans** - Those pesky cans are bane of Cobra's existence, right after those fucking trolls! Josh is too stupid to understand how to operate can opener, so resorts to the tried and proven method since caveman times - if you just happen to be a missing link that doesn't have access to advanced tools, just adopt simpler tools like knives and hammers. That way, your tin can ends up looking like it had an encounter with Jason Voorhees. With Josh's legendary dexterity, it is a miracle the boy hasn't seriously injured himself over the course of years. | * **Opening cans** - Those pesky cans are bane of Cobra's existence, right after those fucking trolls! Josh is too stupid to understand how to operate can opener, so resorts to the tried and proven method since caveman times - if you just happen to be a missing link that doesn't have access to advanced tools, just adopt simpler tools like knives and hammers. That way, your tin can ends up looking like it had an encounter with Jason Voorhees. With Josh's legendary dexterity, it is a miracle the boy hasn't seriously injured himself over the course of years. |
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| | ^{{:activities:iron-bog-angle.png?nolink&600|}} | |
| | |Cooking with Cobra is well known for it's use of innovative camera angles| |
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| ====== Favorite ingredients ====== | ====== Favorite ingredients ====== |
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| * **Cheese** - If you don't cover your meal in so much cheese that you can't even see the original meal, are you even cooking? Your food is for pussies, unless you add double the amount of calories worth of cheese. Important part of any American household's diet. | * **Cheese** - If you don't cover your meal in so much cheese that you can't even see the original meal, are you even cooking? Your food is for pussies, unless you add double the amount of calories worth of cheese. Important part of any American household's diet. |
| * **Bacon** - Like a middle aged man stuck in the 2000's, Josh forms parts of his identity out of videos he has seen more than a decade ago. These days, nobody bats an eye over a piece of bacon, but if you remember the days of Epic Meal Time being big on Youtube (dark days, but life was simple), bacon was everywhere. So the boy, exposed to videos with manly men, doing manly things, assumed that in order to be a real man, one must eat bacon, preferably in every meal, whenever it makes sense or not. Plus, extra grease! These days, Josh is too lazy to even cook his own bacon, so instead tells his caretakers to buy him a nasty abomination called Bacon Bits. | * **Bacon** - Like a middle aged man stuck in the 2000's, Josh forms parts of his identity out of videos he has seen more than a decade ago. These days, nobody bats an eye over a piece of bacon, but if you remember the days of Epic Meal Time being big on Youtube (dark days, but life was simple), bacon was everywhere. So the boy, exposed to videos with manly men, doing manly things, assumed that in order to be a real man, one must eat bacon, preferably in every meal, whenever it makes sense or not. Plus, extra grease! These days, Josh is too lazy to even cook his own bacon, so instead tells his caretakers to buy him a nasty abomination called Bacon Bits. |
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| | {{page>:blurbs#Josh and his beliefs}} |
