Differences

This shows you the differences between two versions of the page.

--- activities:cooking [2024/08/07 13:00] – cobrastan
+++ activities:cooking [2025/09/02 03:45] (current) – gothickingwhatsup52
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 It's impossible to list every noteworthy meal the bad kitchen boy has cooked over the course of years, as there are probably hundreds of examples, here are at least some of the most infamous <del>food crimes</del> achievements:
-{{:objects:kitchen-fire.png?nolink&90 |}}
-[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E4StlboB48|Potato "Fries"]] - Josh cuts up some potatoes into large chunks that no sane person would mistake for fries, and thanks to his expert skills and some grease fire, almost burns his old apartment down. "The warlock's bubbling cauldron spewed forth its black ichor as he sang his curses into the night."
+{{:objects:bogritto-1.png?nolink&90 |}}
+[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0L2wgKFsBg|The Bedbug Burrito]] - The key to getting extra protein into your day old bogrrito is to leave it sitting out for all the bedbugs to enjoy. Seeing the boy crunch on actual bugs (that are trying to desperately hide within the rotting burrito) isn't for the faint of heart, doubtlessly one of the nastiest things Jorp has ever done. Some have accussed the boy of cannibalism, but his bugs ancestry has yet to be proven.
+----
+{{:activities:screenshot_2025-09-01_002638.png?nolink&90 |}}
+[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFWXwyWIr94|Candy Calzone]] - Dankness is on the way in this recipe as King Cobra assembles a crazy candy calzone. The sweetness of bananas, peanut butter, brown sugar, and chocolates playfully intermingling with the savory pizza flavors of pepperoni, bacon, and mozzarella is sure to be a hit at your next random party.
+----
+{{:activities:catburger-disaster.png?nolink&90 |}}
+[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XpAWKNHACY|Cat Food Burger]] - What do you do when trolls send you cat food? End sickos by wolfing it down, of course! Jorp puts reverse psychology onto another level. Incredibly disgusting to humans, a tasty treat for a boglim. Probably the healthiest meal he has eaten in years. And he enjoyed it, as he scarfed it down without any hesitation.
+----
+{{:activities:bogcheasypasta.jpg?nolink&90 |}}
+[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMkxglN53VU|Cheasy Pasta]] - Rev up the cauldron and make "basically something to eat" with this classic recipe. The combination of mayo, ranch, mustard and //two// types of pasta powder (cheese and beef varieties) congeals quite nicely, even if you don't have beef to cook it in.
+----
+{{:screenshot_2025-07-18_044401.png?nolink&90 |}}
+[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMkxglN53VU|Cordinal Cherry Bacon Cheese Burger]] - Josh rants about how real the sticks his wands are made from as he stacks bacon, brown sugar, mozzarella, peanut butter, and cordial—or as Josh calls them, "cardinal"—cherries. This thick, greasy, and unhealthy burger is sure to draw your doctor's ire.
+----
+{{:activities:cobes-mac-n-cheese.png?nolink&90 |}}
+[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufKd2vUkFr0|DANK Mac 'n' Cheese]] - How to make Mac 'N Cheese that looks like mashed potatoes that were already in somebody's stomach. From the comments: It pairs great with apple sauce, monster, canned salmon and dark rum. M’lord has the palette of a swamp rat.
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 [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TEb2xsiuiA|Deep Frtd Avocados]] - The boogerman (not to be mistaken with boogeyman) sets up to reduce innocent pieces of avocado into pile of ash. The dankness is strong with this one, the end result looks more like a pile of oysters than avocados, but has that chrunch 'n munch.
+----
+{{:activities:screenshot_2025-09-01_005112.png?nolink&90 |}}
+[[https://youtu.be/2NfZOCkGatw|Fiery Fish Pizza]] - Cobra cooks up a pizza sure to separate the men from the boys. Josh is unable to complete the challenge and becomes violently ill from the pizza. The cooking portion of this meal has been lost, however the recipe was listed in the [[characters:Bitesize cobra vids|Bitesize]] upload as "Pre-made pizza dough, four different Primo seasonings, Swampadelic, eight Taco Bell hot sauce packets, cheese, pepperoni, hot sauce soaked sardines, Doritos, giardiniera and curly fries".
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 [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKd-JYOTo-Q|Genetic Mowden Dew Eggs]] - Do you like hard boiled eggs? Did you know you can 'reduce' them, like you would reduce a sauce while cooking a normal meal? Fear not, the Iron Bog will teach you the ways.
+----
+{{:objects:kitchen-fire.png?nolink&90 |}}
+[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E4StlboB48|Potato "Fries"]] - Josh cuts up some potatoes into large chunks that no sane person would mistake for fries, and thanks to his expert skills and some grease fire, almost burns his old apartment down. "The warlock's bubbling cauldron spewed forth its black ichor as he sang his curses into the night."
 ----
-{{:objects:pizza-sushi.png?nolink&90 |}}
+{{:activities:screenshot_2025-09-01_024759.png?nolink&90 |}}
-[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twFQAFIR04o|Sushi Pizza]] - Do you really want to ask?
+[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47mrK7CAJtU|Sushi Bacon Cheeseburger]] - The perfect amount of bacon, swiss, mozzarella, and de-thawed frozen sushi get micawaved to perfection then topped with  wasabi. Pairs well with a Marlboro NXT and an ice cold Mountain Dew Pitch Black. //Not to be confused with the Sushi Baconator.//
+----
+{{:activities:screenshot_2025-09-01_025848.png?nolink&90 |}}
+[[https://youtu.be/64hq89_hGTA|Sushi Baconator]] - Cobes waxes circularly about unhealthy habits while waiting for the sushi atop his Pretzel Baconator (hold the ketchup, extra cheese) de-thaws. This crazy sandwich also gets loaded up with Flaming Hot Queso Doritos Dinamitas, Franks Red Hot, soy sauce, and wasabi. //Not to be confused with Sushi Bacon Cheeseburger.//
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-{{:objects:bogritto-1.png?nolink&90 |}}
+{{:objects:pizza-sushi.png?nolink&90 |}}
-[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0L2wgKFsBg|The Bedbug Burrito]] - Nothing like extra protein in your day old bogrito you left sitting out for all the bedbugs to enjoy, well turns out some of the bedbugs can't escape fast enough and end up lodged between boy's remaining teeth. Doubtlessly one of the nastiest things you can see the boy doing, several bedbugs have been harmed while making the video.
+[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twFQAFIR04o|Sushi Pizza]] - Do you really want to ask?
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+^{{:activities:jorp-micahwave.png?nolink&400|}} |
+|Boglim being hypnotized by the micahwave|
@@ Line 64: / Line 116: @@
 ^{{:activities:iron-bog-angle.png?nolink&600|}} |
-|Cooking with Cobra features many innovative camera angles|
+|Cooking with Cobra is well known for it's use of innovative camera angles|
 ====== Favorite ingredients ======
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 Josh is well supplied by his loving family, which regularly buys him groceries for his <del>nasty experiments</del> 'food hacks', and over the course of years has used many exotic ingredients in combinations that no chef has ever thought before. For some reason, the boy seems to be allergic to almost all kinds of vegetables (perhaps doesn't want to engage in cannibalism), as they rarely appear in his dank hacks.
-  * **Grease** - One of Josh's favorite ingredients is Country Crock, which he affectionately calls "butter". The boy lives in grease, has been born out of grease, was molded by it and will die by it, so it's only natural that a cheap and unhealthy fat is his best friend in the kitchen. Essential part of most of the iconic recipes, has to be in any serious kitchen.
-  * **Cheese** - If you don't cover your meal in so much cheese that you can't even see the original meal, are you even cooking? Your food is for pussies, unless you add double the amount of calories worth of cheese. Important part of any American household's diet.
   * **Bacon** - Like a middle aged man stuck in the 2000's, Josh forms parts of his identity out of videos he has seen more than a decade ago. These days, nobody bats an eye over a piece of bacon, but if you remember the days of Epic Meal Time being big on Youtube (dark days, but life was simple), bacon was everywhere. So the boy, exposed to videos with manly men, doing manly things, assumed that in order to be a real man, one must eat bacon, preferably in every meal, whenever it makes sense or not. Plus, extra grease! These days, Josh is too lazy to even cook his own bacon, so instead tells his caretakers to buy him a nasty abomination called Bacon Bits.
+  * **Beer/Soda** - Josh enjoys splashing a bit of beer or soda into his food as it cooks to infuse it with the flavor of Bud Light, Mountain Dew, or whatever he's sippin' on.
+  * **Cheese** - If you don't cover your meal in so much cheese that you can't even see the original meal, are you even cooking? Your food is for pussies, unless you add double the amount of calories worth of cheese. Important part of any American household's diet.
+  * **Doritos** - Josh loves to add Doritos to his foods to add "that crunch, that munch" to his culinary creations.
+  * **Grease** - One of Josh's favorite ingredients is Country Crock, which he affectionately calls "butter". The boy lives in grease, has been born out of grease, was molded by it and will die by it, so it's only natural that a cheap and unhealthy fat is his best friend in the kitchen. Essential part of most of the iconic recipes, has to be in any serious kitchen.
+  * **Payne County Rust, Tony Chachere's, Slap Ya Mama** - Payne County Rust is a barbecue seasoning for use on steaks and burgers. Tony's and Slap Ya Mama are two roughly similar cajun seasonings that are intended for use on a wide variety of foods to add a cajun kick to them. Josh reaches for this holy trinity of seasoning blends frequently.
+  * **Sal-gur** - A Cobra proprietary blend of salt and sugar
+{{page>:blurbs#Josh and his beliefs}}