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Table of Contents
List of Cobraisms
The boy doesn't rest. His giant gourd is capable of spewing absurd amounts crap, ranging from mispronounced words to completely jumbled sayings that end up making no sense, making it impossible to keep up with new Cobraisms for anyone but the most dedicated followers.
While there are some staples that the boy enjoys saying over and over, any time he opens his carp lips, there is a chance something new comes out, because he is listening, he listens to many other videos, and likes to repeat what other people say - like a toddler, if you will. And unfortunately for him, like a toddler, he doesn't really understand most of the stuff he repeats, which is very fortunate for us, because it blesses us with so many hilarious moments.
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| King Jorp SlipOfTheTongue III., addressing his subjects |
Legendary pearls of wisdom
Sayings that need no explanation, because there is no explanation that could possibly make them seem normal in any shape or form.
- I ride bike, weather permittable.
- Fish is a dairy product because it has protein in it like milk.
- You know, love is like a fart….it stinks, it involves assholes and you shouldn't force it.
- I have spent several years being patriotic…
- That's Rick Ross for ya!
- Your pussy smells like Wendy's, dood…
- If he were the president of the U.S., he'd pull the troops from Iraq, Afghanistan and Iran.
- It's amazing when you become a little bit drunk how self-aware you are of how shitty you are of a singer.
- Women and cars have a couple of things in common. Some cars are older, some cars are newer.
- I might have been born last night, but I wasn't born yesterday.
- Well, we got the can of Surströmming open, Youtube……but at what cost.
- You can pick your nose but you can't pick your family's nose.
- Life is a box of cereal and death is that sweet toy… why would you waste a whole box of cereal just to get that toy?
Mangled phrases and sayings
Common and rare ones, all mixed together. Boy hears something, and like a parrot, often doesn't understand the words, and butchers the delivery completely.
| What Josh said | What he possibly meant |
|---|---|
| Like stank on rice | Hard to say - like white on rice? Like steak on rice? |
| No skin off my shoes | While the original phrase has many different variations, the point always refers to some part of the body, like nose, back, etc. Josh refuses to be constrained by the society and uses boots, giving the saying an entirely different angle. |
| Catch all 22 | There is no better way to appreciate Joseph Heller's book than to misuse the name and mixing it with the infamous Pokemon's “Gonna catch them all!” slogan. |
| It's all up to the subject of a beholder, of course | Josh seemingly understands the meaning of the original saying, but can't remember it properly, like in many cases. |
Simple mispronunciations
Just like Josh enjoys customizing his food, his brain enjoys modifying the words the boy is trying to say.
| What Josh meant | What Josh said |
|---|---|
| Sexual Entendre. | Seckshul Ontondro. |
| conundrum | conundruff |
| bigotry | Bigotism |
| Chernobyl | Churn O'Boil. |
| Monitization. | Moniterization. |
| Weimaraner Dog. | Winer Miner Dog. |
| Phonetically. | Phonicsly. |
| Brawn. | Bronze. |
| Olaf (The character from Frozen.) | Olo. |
| Uptight. | Uptense. |
| Capitalism. | Capitalization. |
| Saudi Arabian | Saudi and Arabian |
| Taliban | Talbanian |
| Hindsight | High-sigh |
| Civil Liberty | Cibel Liverty |
| Generic. | Genetic. |
| Transit. | Tranzoot. |
| Trichotillomania | Trickateria |
| Sex Offender Registry | Sex Offendry |
| Redrum. | Red Wine. |
| Centimeters. | Cillimeters. |
| Waft. | Waffle. |
| Delayed. | Delayment. |
| Rue. | Rule. |
| Pompadour. | Pomahdor. |
| Indepth. | Indeaf. |
| Attracting. | Attracking. |
| Pastor. | Pasture. |
| Exquisite. | Exsquisid. |
| Cerebral Palsy. | Celebral/Skelblal Pelosi. |
| Interpretation. | Internprentation. |
| Burglary. | Burgalee. |
| Inadvertently. | Ittenverenly. |
| Compensating. | Confensating. |
| Declaration of Independence. | Decordation of Independence. |
| Eternally grateful. | Internally grateful. |
| Frustrated | Fustated |
| Human Anatomy. | Human Analogy. |
| Social Construct. | Social Conflict. |
| Fur Elise. | Fer Aleesay. |
| Arkansas. | Arkah-sass. |
| Roster. | Rowstah. |
| Lafeytte. | Lahfetay. |
| Report. | Reporch. |
| Abbreviation. | Abbrevanation. |
| Subject. | Subjugation. |
| Doppelganger. | Duh-blanger. |
| Tapatío (taa·puh·tee·ow). | Tapahteal (tuh-pa-tee-al). |
| Tuberculosis. | Ta-berkley-osis. |
| Bump Fire Stock | Bumfire Stock |
| library | liebary |
| with bated breath | with faded breath |
| straight from the horse’s mouth | straight from the source’s mouth |
| crass | crasst |
| indoctrinated | indocturned |
| eternally grateful | internally grateful |
| wafting (through the air) | waffling |
| sentiment | sentative |
| …a good stretch of time | “In jail for a good, stenchy length of time” |
Brands/Famous names
| What Josh meant | What Josh said |
|---|---|
| Cordial Cherries | Cardinal Cherries |
| Parmesan | Prawmashawn/Prawmajawn |
| Val Kilmer | Val Kilmore |
| Tommy Lahren | Tommy Lorraine |
| Joseph Goebbels | Joseph Go-Bells |
| Zakk Wylde | Zack Wade |
| Joy Division | Joy Davidson |
| Bill Burr | Bill Barr |
| Billie Eilish | Billie Uh-leye-shuh |
| Monterey Jack | Monetary Jack |
| Marconi Giardiniera | Mockaroni Durinera/Guyrah Dennera |
| Morton Salt | Morrison Salt |
| Sargento cheese | Sarenghetto cheese |
| Bacardi Limon | Bacardi Lemore |
| Kim Jon-Un | Kid John Un |
| Blue Apron | Bkue Apparin |
| Tomi Lahren | Tommy Lorraine |
| monetization | monitorization |
| Nestlé (candy company) | “nestle” (as in to settle or lie comfortably within or against something) |