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| sagas:the_ellen_saga [2025/03/24 17:27] – stuffedcrustfrompapajohnswithextracheeseextrabacononionsjalapenosandanchoviesdoodt | sagas:the_ellen_saga [2025/04/22 19:29] (current) – stuffedcrustfrompapajohnswithextracheeseextrabacononionsjalapenosandanchoviesdoodt |
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| ***[[characters:KingCobraJFS]]:** Never one to miss an opportunity, Josh would quickly work to make a connection with Ellen in order to prove to the Troles that he still had it. At this stage his male pattern baldness is only getting worse with his hairline going bald from both the back AND front, and his head is now starting to take its more iconic butternut squash shape. | ***[[characters:KingCobraJFS]]:** Never one to miss an opportunity, Josh would quickly work to make a connection with Ellen in order to prove to the Troles that he still had it. At this stage his male pattern baldness is only getting worse with his hairline going bald from both the back AND front, and his head is now starting to take its more iconic butternut squash shape. |
| | ***[[characters:Darfliny]]:** Darf would play a key role in several major incidents during this saga, whether Josh liked it or not. |
| ***[[characters:Minor Homeboys and Homegirls>#Ellen]]:** The real star of the story, Ellen is an of-age, cisgendered goth girl who isn't related to him and is alive. | ***[[characters:Minor Homeboys and Homegirls>#Ellen]]:** The real star of the story, Ellen is an of-age, cisgendered goth girl who isn't related to him and is alive. |
| ***[[characters:Minor Homeboys and Homegirls>#Walt and Angie]]:** Walter and Angie Knight are the parents of Ellen, and are best remembered as opportunistic leeches off of Josh's paypigs. | |
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| ==== Minor Characters ==== | ==== Minor Characters ==== |
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| ***[[characters:Scrapper Steve]]:** Steve would make an appearance in a now-infamous video where he and Josh would eat pizza with a girl, the Summer Saga's destruction seemingly forgotten. | ***[[characters:Minor Homeboys and Homegirls>#Walt and Angie]]:** Walter and Angie Knight are the parents of Ellen, and are best remembered as opportunistic leeches off of Josh's paypigs. |
| ***[[characters:the trolls#Chazz Razz]]:** Chazz Razz was an especially infamous troll who would attempt to buddy up with Josh during summer of 2020 before the Cobraverse unearthed his personal life, warts and all. | ***[[characters:the trolls#Chazz Razz]]:** Chazz Razz was an especially infamous troll who would attempt to buddy up with Josh during summer of 2020 before the Cobraverse unearthed his personal life, warts and all. |
| ***[[characters:Alex Anderson]]:** Alex would make an appearance during this saga, discussing his Cheating Bitch of a Whore Wife during a low point in Josh's love quest. This saga is also the last time Alex Anderson would appear in the Cobraverse after his untimely demise. | |
| ***[[characters:Homeboy Scotty]]:** Homeboy Scotty would make an extremely brief appearance in June of 2019 in the infamous "Gas Station Food Hack with Scotty" video, where Josh would make an exsquisid food hack at his local Loaf and Jug gas station. | |
| ***[[characters:Casper Police Department]]:** Casper's finest would be forced to answer a distress call featuring Josh on August 23rd, the details of which would unfold [[incidents:cobra_gets_swatted|live on stream]]. | |
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| Ellen, a goth woman with black hair and green eyes, was the daughter of Josh's friend Angie. Josh’s relationship with Ellen became a subject of interest among his viewers, starting around early 2019 when Josh began filming videos at Walt and Angie's house. There were speculations regarding Josh's intentions, suggesting he might be attempting to forge a closer relationship with Ellen due to her fitting his aesthetic preference in partners. | Ellen, a goth woman with black hair and green eyes, was the daughter of Josh's friend Angie. Josh’s relationship with Ellen became a subject of interest among his viewers, starting around early 2019 when Josh began filming videos at Walt and Angie's house. There were speculations regarding Josh's intentions, suggesting he might be attempting to forge a closer relationship with Ellen due to her fitting his aesthetic preference in partners. |
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| Josh would actually hang out with Ellen as early as September of 2018 during [[sagas:The Wandmaker Saga]], where he would accidentally have an erection after being hugged by Ellen. It's worth mentioning that even back then, Ellen already had a boyfriend, although Josh claims that Ellen had some level of physical attraction to him. | Josh would actually hang out with Ellen as early as September of 2018 during [[sagas:The Wandmaker Saga]], where he would accidentally have an erection after being hugged by Ellen. It's worth mentioning that even back then, Ellen already had a boyfriend, although Josh claims that Ellen had some level of physical attraction to him. |
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| | This saga can be best recognized by his first on-camera mention of Ellen on August 7th, 2019 - In a video talking about his wands, Josh would say he was in a good mood after he realized the girl he was crushing on totally likes him back. Yes, she's alive, drop-dead gorgeous, and definitely would go for a reverse-cross-eyed hermit with a head shaped like a gourd. |
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| ===== Timeline of Events ===== | ===== Timeline of Events ===== |
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| ==== Rockin' Good Time ==== | ==== The Wet Panty Zone ==== |
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| Much of early 2019 was a soft continuation of [[sagas:The Rage Saga]] by means of his endless crusade against the Troles, namely increasing his wand prices to account for the new addition of copper wire wrapped around the handles, and fielding nonstop prank calls and texts live on stream. To keep his spirits up during these troubling times, Josh would have a pizza party with known sex pest and sicko Scrapper Steve, alongside Steve's girlfriend Heather(Who appears in a manner similar to that of a hostage). The now-infamous video titled "Pizza hut food review" would feature Josh, Steve, and Heather eating pizza in an unfurnished room in a notably awkward and uncomfortable video where Steve clarifies that he and Josh are just friends, culminating in Steve saying the phrase //"It's a rockin' good time..."// | After accidentally putting himself in the negative spending money on pizza and booze, Josh would partake in early-age twitch thot behavior by working out shirtless after receiving numerous donations to pay for his Internet bill. This would lead to the infamous KingCobraJFS quote "You've officially entered the wet panty zone!", as he continued to do nothing but bicep curls and attempt to flex random muscles to his own music. |
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| ^{{:sagas:heather.png?400|}}| | Much of this profit was given to Ellen after she implied her dog required a costly surgery - In fact, Josh actually gave the money he had from the aforementioned stream directly to Ellen to aid in surgery costs. This kind of selfless action immediately rang alarm bells among Cobraverse fans, as it wasn't common for Josh to be //this// selfless. |
| |//Heather not having a rockin' good time//| | |
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| ==== Alex Anderson's last hurrah ==== | ==== A girl named Ellen ==== |
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| Josh would spend the months of January and February moping around and complaining about Gender Relations to a sickening degree. In February, Josh would have a heart-to-heart when well-respected homeboy [[characters:Alex Anderson]] would arrive with booze, spiraling into a long-winded rant about his ex-wife cheating on him and attempting to play it off as a "massage". | As a result of his generosity, Josh would start hanging out with and getting chummy with Ellen's parents, Walt and Angie. Filming many videos at their place where he could smoke indoors, he would generally make himself a friend of the family by any means necessary. In fact, Josh would even babysit Angie's micropig, being her very first appearance in Josh's content. |
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| Alex would make his final appearance in the Cobraverse in a "Chillin" video, where he would espouse numerous infamous one-liners, glaze his best bud to the moon and back, and generally bring his upbeat attitude to brighten up the day of a pissy Josh Saunders. Sadly, this would be the last time the beloved blond Wyoming native would be seen, as on the 28th of March of the same year, Alex would die of a seizure in his mother's basement. This would leave Josh and Cobra fans alike devastated, as Alex Anderson was a popular homeboy in Josh's videos. \\ | Despite simping this hard for a girl whose entire family is clearly using him for his cash, Josh decided that lusting after one hot of-age goth chick wasn't enough, and also spent time planning how to ask out his other crush Felicia, the girl who sold him his pot-leaf ear gauges. |
| Josh would make a video about a week later, mourning the passing of a man who truly embodied the Homeboy lifestyle. Josh would get drunk and make numerous drink combo videos to ease the pain in Alex's absence. | |
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| ==== Magical prowess ==== | ==== Live with Darfliny ep. 3 ==== |
| | //For the associated Incidents page, click [[incidents:live with darfliny ep.3|here.]]// |
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| In April, Josh would record another infamous video of him walking around, in which he would show off another display of gothic magic: Turning a street light on. Please disregard the fact that it was just becoming night time, when street lights automatically switch on. | In October, Josh's short, stocky blacksmith pal [[characters:Darfliny]] would start a series of episodic livestreams known as "Live with darfliny", where he would stream and document various goings-on in his day-to-day life. The most notorious of these is Episode 3 livecast in November, where Darf and Josh hang out. However, lacking in moderation and not preemptively sharing Josh's chat ban list, Josh and Darf are endlessly harangued by trolls, causing Josh to have an autistic meltdown, causing him to angrily consume chips and yell at Darfliny's chat. Darf would delete the stream, presumably at Josh's request. |
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| ==== Scotty's not dead? ==== | |
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| Much of 2019 would pass without consequence, as Josh would post a number of videos food hacks, gender relation rants, food challenge videos, and perhaps the greatest of all, videos where he wandered around Casper. However in June, Josh would have the infamous "Gas station food hack with Scotty" video, where deadbeat dad and questionably alive Homeboy Scotty would appear on screen for only a fraction of a second, demanding not to be shown on camera. \\ | |
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| Josh would shave his head entirely bald after fucking up his own haircut, and would show it off to own the trolls. | |
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| ==== Cobra gets SWATTED ==== | |
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| 2019 continues to pass with little of note until the 23rd, when a troll would call in a fake threat to the local Casper police department while Josh was livestreaming. Josh would continue to use this incident as ammunition against his trolls for years to come. Josh would even get some public recognition from this event when a local newspaper would interview him on details of the swatting. To lift his spirits, a fan would pay notable investigative journalist Chris Hansen by means of cameo to say that his team would be looking for the person responsible for his SWATting, which Josh took as gospel. | |
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| ==== The Surprise Inspection ==== | |
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| September would bring about a surprise apartment inspection by Josh's landlord - Being known for his general inability to keep anything clean, Josh would receive a fine for destroying his apartment's carpet. While the fine was an unspecified number, Josh would admit to having to pay it likely until he moved out. **[[sagas:The eviction saga#>build up to the eviction|This would have LASTING consequences.]]** Additionally, after doing his taxes, Josh would realize he owed the Internal Revenue Service $110.00, which is no small amount for someone like Josh. Although this level of monetary drain would concern a lesser impoverished being, Josh would not let this deter his content creation, and would proceed to make videos detailing numerous not-safe-for-work themes, such as how to properly pleasure a woman, and how to prevent scabbing your genitals from excessive masturbation. | |
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| ==== The Christmas Engagement ==== | ==== The Christmas Engagement ==== |
| ^{{:angie.png?400|}}| | ^{{:angie.png?400|}}| |
| |//Homegirl Angie, Ellen's mom//| | |//Homegirl Angie, Ellen's mom//| |
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| ==== Social Media Exchanges and Public Controversy ==== | ==== Social Media Exchanges and Public Controversy ==== |
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| In early January 2020, discussions around Ellen were partially eclipsed by Josh's efforts to obtain tickets for a Black Veil Brides concert, which was among Ellen's favorite bands. Josh planned to gift these tickets to Ellen for her birthday, discussing his intentions to provide a memorable experience for her. Despite his eagerness to attend the concert with her, Ellen’s relationship status with another individual led to ambiguities about who would accompany her, which Josh accepted without public objection. | In early January 2020, discussions around Ellen were partially eclipsed by Josh's efforts to obtain tickets for a Black Veil Brides concert, which was among Ellen's favorite bands. Josh planned to gift these tickets to Ellen for her birthday, discussing his intentions to provide a memorable experience for her. Despite his eagerness to attend the concert with her, Ellen’s relationship status with another individual led to ambiguities about who would accompany her, which Josh accepted without public objection. |
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| ==== Conclusion of the Ellen Debacle==== | |
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| Josh and Ellen's working relationship seemingly concluded with the successful fundraising for the Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary, with over $200 collected, fulfilling the target set alongside the contest stipulations. Regardless of Josh's ulterior motives or the intervention of his trolls, the involvement and responses from Josh's viewers played a pivotal role in achieving this goal. | Josh and Ellen's working relationship seemingly concluded with the successful fundraising for the Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary, with over $200 collected, fulfilling the target set alongside the contest stipulations. Regardless of Josh's ulterior motives or the intervention of his trolls, the involvement and responses from Josh's viewers played a pivotal role in achieving this goal. |
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| | Josh would thank viewers for helping him help Ellen "from the bottom of his gothic heart" by lifting weights and playing guitar in his lime green cock holster while erect. Trolls would capitalize on this by sending this footage to Ellen, which Cobes would respond to by talking about said incident in a hushed tone. Josh claims that Ellen thought it was "A sweet gesture". |
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| | January would also mark the appearance of Josh's Brown La-Z boy, an infamous precursor to [[objects:The Dead Dog Chair]]. |
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| | ==== KingCobraJFS: Now it's a Party! ==== |
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| | In March of 2020, the YouTube Channel Mountain Wizards would travel to Casper to do a documentary on Josh. In this documentary, Josh would spend most of his documentary talking about himself, hocking his bizarre beliefs, and spending exorbitant amounts of money - Josh would be seen on camera spending money on Buffalo Wild Wings, getting his [[beliefs:Tattoos#>Fourth Tattoo - The Cradle of Filth tattoo|Cradle of Filth Tattoo]] done, and stomp around Casper while showing off his Goth AF boglim lifestyle. Josh would hint at this "secret project" during a video where he ate at Buffalo Wild Wings in March, before the documentary dropped in April. Apart from showing off Josh's inability to handle finances responsibly, it would include an interview with Josh's close friend [[characters:Darfliny]], who hilariously was wearing a shirt mocking Josh: On said T-shirt was a photo of Damion, the man who [[characters:Stephanie]] left Josh for many years ago. |
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| | ==== Enboglimfication ==== |
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| | It's March of 2020, and the coronavirus pandemic was in full swing. Unsurprisingly, Josh would spend much of his time indoors(As usual) while casting numerous spells to assist with the ending of the worldwide dry spell. Celebrating his birthday live, Josh would spill his booze, [[incidents:Ruined Birthday(s)#>29th birthday rage: March 26th, 2020|have a retarded spergout]], and generally be very mad over his own clumsiness. |
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| | Josh would delete this stream and get cranky over his stream getting saved by people like [[characters:Bitesize Cobra Vids]] - However, Josh would attempt to take the high road on this matter, claiming it was good for self-reflection. This would not stop him from seething about it during April of the same year. |
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| | ==== Foodie fumbles ==== |
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| | When he wasn't having meltdowns over his window not staying open or dropping his booze, Josh would do what he dubbed the "[[incidents:the_budweiser_challenge|Budweiser Challenge]]" - His alcoholism on full display, Josh found a way to make having a 26-pack of beer with his pal Darfliny a stream. The challenge would be ultimately failed after both Josh and Darf passed out around the 6-8 beer mark, and Josh would spend several minutes violently coughing so hard that his face would change color. |
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| | On a content roll, Josh would get a package of the fabled Surströmming, Finnish regional delicacy of preserved shark meat. This would bring Josh face-to-face with his most monstrous of foes once again: The Can Opener. Fumbling non-stop, Josh would eventually attempt to pierce the can open and //immediately// spill it all over his carpet, eventually leading to the infamous line "Well YouTube, we got the Surströmming open...But at what cost?" This would not stop him from consuming the stuff like the true gothic rockstar badboy he was. |
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| | Josh would also make a video where he made a gigantic steak that he and Darfliny would share. In between thinly veiled homoerotic comments by Darf and accidentally fumbling one of his goblets, Cobes would commit the most heinous of culinary acts to this steak, and effectively boil it in primordial grease, a whole stick of butter, and Rolling Rock beer. Although he was hesitant to sample it, Darf would eventually tuck in alongside Josh. |
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| | ^{{:sagas:foodie_crimes.png?400|}}| |
| | |//Nobody contact Gordon Ramsay//| |
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| | ==== The T-shirt meltdown ==== |
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| | One of Josh's more infamous meltdowns would happen in early July after he released the "Female Impowerment" T-shirt, revealing it via livestream. This bold new for-the-ladies-only T-shirt would lead to instant hilarity once Josh realized he hadn't just spelt "Goddess" wrong, but also "Empowerment" wrong, to which he let out a particularly violent //**"GOD DAMN IT!"**// as a result, and as usual have an autistic meltdown. |
| | ^{{:sagas:it_pisses_me_off.png?400|}}| |
| | |//Fury//| |
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| ==== The President's Letter ==== | ==== The President's Letter ==== |
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| During a rare Facebook live session, Josh reveals he has received a letter from the 45th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. He proudly reads the letter aloud, wherein he is praised for using his dark magic to defeat ISIS. Shortly after, Josh is informed that the letter is actually a fake and he responds by tearing it up. Immediately afterwards, the trolls convince him that the letter may have been real after all, but the damage had already been done. | During a rare Facebook live session in July, Josh reveals he has received a letter from the 45th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. He proudly reads the letter aloud, wherein he is praised for using his dark magic to defeat ISIS. Shortly after, Josh would discover on the KingCobraJFS Subreddit that the letter is actually a fake and he responds by tearing it up. Immediately afterwards, the trolls convince him that the letter may have been real after all, but the damage had already been done. |
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| ==== Banned from the CY Bar ==== | ==== Banned from the CY Bar ==== |
| Although it is not the most popular of sagas, The Ellen Saga marks the end of an era - This would be Josh's last saga that took place at [[places:615 South Center street]], and would be some of the last footage of Alex Anderson, Scrapper Steve, and many other forms of content in the Cobraverse. With every ending comes a beginning, however - The beginning of [[sagas:The Eviction Saga]], and eventually, The Conquistador Age. | Although it is not the most popular of sagas, The Ellen Saga marks the end of an era - This would be Josh's last saga that took place at [[places:615 South Center street]], and would be some of the last footage of Alex Anderson, Scrapper Steve, and many other forms of content in the Cobraverse. With every ending comes a beginning, however - The beginning of [[sagas:The Eviction Saga]], and eventually, The Conquistador Age. |
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| ==== Trivia ==== | ===== Infamous Quotes ===== |
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| | * //"I was s'posed to have a dentist appointment[in November], but I had to reschedule it for January, 'cause... ...I needed to go to the store to get more wand leather so I could finish my batch of wands..."// |
| | * //"You wanna see Cobra get drunk and eat chips? WELL, YA FUCKIN' GOT IT! FUCK YOU, TROLL LOSERS!"// |
| | * //"When I said the N word on my buddy's channel, I was going off the dictionary version. Which if you search up N▇▇▇▇▇ means ignorant person."// |
| | * //"My autism wouldn't stop me from being a good president."// |
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| | ===== Trivia ===== |
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| * Josh's alcoholism would get even worse, as in mid-April, he would start making drink combos from the moment he woke up. | * In September, Josh would admit to having a stash of booze he kept for times when he wasn't on camera, which is clear alcoholic behavior. |
| * In July, Josh would make a collab video with a man who would one day become his greatest rival: CoolTaste, the mostly-blind Casper mole rat. | |
| * Josh would receive the black leather cowboy hat and his banjo in October of 2019. | * Josh would receive the black leather cowboy hat and his banjo in October of 2019. |
| | * Josh would go to a dentist in January and February of 2020, and would even brush his teeth on camera once. He comments that the toothpaste stings. |
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| ==== Sources ==== | ==== Sources ==== |
