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--- sagas:the_rage_saga [2025/02/08 22:44] – created stuffedcrustfrompapajohnswithextracheeseextrabacononionsjalapenosandanchoviesdoodt
+++ sagas:the_rage_saga [2025/04/12 16:52] (current) – stuffedcrustfrompapajohnswithextracheeseextrabacononionsjalapenosandanchoviesdoodt
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 ====== The Rage Saga ======
-**The Rage Saga** is the interim period in Boglim History between [[sagas:The Wandmaker Saga]] and [[sagas:The Ellen Saga]], and takes the name from Josh's unbridled rage made manifest against numerous individuals in his life, from family members to people on the other side of the world. This saga would span from mid-2018 to early 2019, when Josh would begin to make a more pronounced effort to woo [[characters:Minor Homeboys and Homegirls>#Ellen]].
+**The Rage Saga** is the interim period in Boglim History between [[sagas:The Wandmaker Saga]] and [[sagas:The Ellen Saga]], and takes the name from Josh's unbridled rage made manifest against numerous individuals in his life, from family members to people on the other side of the world. This saga would span from mid-2018 to late 2019, when Josh would begin to make a more pronounced effort to woo [[characters:Minor Homeboys and Homegirls>#Ellen]].
 ==== Major Characters ====
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   ***[[characters:Warlord]]:** Warlord would make sporadic appearances during this saga, not always necessarily in person either.
+  ***[[characters:Scrapper Steve]]:** Steve would make an appearance in a now-infamous video where he and Josh would eat pizza with a girl, the Summer Saga's destruction seemingly forgotten.
   ***[[characters:Minor Homeboys and Homegirls>#Ellen]]:** Mentioned in name only, Ellen would be brought up on occasion during various stories, with Josh constantly reiterating how hot she was, and how much of a shame it was that she was already taken.
+  ***[[characters:Bitesize Cobra Vids]]**: Bitesize would gain popularity and mainstream appeal when Josh picked a one-sided war with the British reuploader.
+  ***[[characters:Alex Anderson]]:** Alex would make an appearance during this saga, discussing his Cheating Bitch of a Whore Wife during a low point in Josh's love quest. This saga is also the last time Alex Anderson would appear in the Cobraverse after his untimely demise.
+  ***[[characters:Homeboy Scotty]]:** Homeboy Scotty would make an extremely brief appearance in June of 2019 in the infamous "Gas Station Food Hack with Scotty" video, where Josh would make an exsquisid food hack at his local Loaf and Jug gas station.
+  ***[[characters:Casper Police Department]]:** Casper's finest would be forced to answer a distress call featuring Josh on August 23rd, the details of which would unfold [[incidents:cobra_gets_swatted|live on stream]].
 ===== Set Up =====
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 Later that month in a moment of //deja vu//, Homeboy Scotty would invite Josh to hang with two smoking hot chicks. Unsurprisingly, this was a dud double date as well, and Josh would make an extremely controversial rant about drama between Homeboy Scotty and his sister Carolyn not long after. Always ready to stand up for his duplicitous Homeboy, Josh would infer that Carolyn was into him, and that he was glad Carolyn's twins died in the womb. Literally frothing at the mouth over making a woman cry and saying he only puts up with Scotty's extended family out of respect for his friend, Josh would receive much ire for his statements.
-==== The Carl's Mom incident ====
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 The rest of the summer would pass with little consequence, outside of Josh releasing [[albums:Hell's advocate]] and protesting the (allegedly) unlawful arrest of [[characters:Jeremy Rogers]], who threw a soda bottle (allegedly) full of urine at a police officer. In the fall however, Josh would start new avenues of entertainment, including fooling around with a taser, which he would light a cigarette with, as well as shocking himself.
-Despite making more wands, Josh would be spending inordinate amounts of money, sometimes even going into the negative despite having his dishwashing job and his wandmaker side hustle, making 20 at a time before eventually slowing down to 10.
+Despite making more wands, Josh would be spending inordinate amounts of money, sometimes even going into the negative despite having his dishwashing job and his wandmaker side hustle. Most of it seemed to be as a result of buying multiple pizzas with every topping imaginable([[incidents:the_stuffed_crust_from_papa_john_s_pizza_review|A trend that would continue well into the future]]). Despite this, Josh seldom tipped his delivery drivers, instead opting to make a single shout-out video to every delivery driver who brought him food. Moreover, Josh would begin to reduce speed on his wand batches, making 20 at a time before eventually slowing down to 10.
-Although he was getting more hours and getting shaped into a proper member of society - or as close as one can get as a dishwasher - by his managers, Josh would announce that September that he had put in his two week's notice in at [[locations:The Office Bar and Grill]], citing that Cobra Craft Wands was a better financial avenue for him to explore. This would come as a bit of a shock, as Josh's year-and-a-half tenure had been surprisingly stable, especially given the higher volume of trolling in recent years. It is believed the catalyst for this was when the head chef at The Office complained about Josh's lack of business attire, as Josh had shown up to work in a dark grey workout shirt instead of the dress code of all black. Josh would defend his shirt, claiming it was "Professional". Additionally, Josh would attempt to ask out one of his coworkers, only to discover that she was happily engaged.
+Although he was getting more hours and getting shaped into a proper member of society - or as close as one can get as a dishwasher - by his managers, Josh would announce that September that he had put in his two week's notice in at [[places:The Office Bar and Grill]], citing that Cobra Craft Wands was a better financial avenue for him to explore. This would come as a bit of a shock, as Josh's year-and-a-half tenure had been surprisingly stable, especially given the higher volume of trolling in recent years. It is believed the catalyst for this was when the head chef at The Office was replaced: According to Josh, the head chef complained about Josh's lack of business attire, as Josh had shown up to work in a dark grey workout shirt instead of the dress code of all black. Josh would defend his shirt, claiming it was "Professional" enough. How a goth badboy does not own a single plain black shirt, we don't know. Additionally in later years, Josh would allege that he had been bullied into quitting his job at this time.
 ==== The Feud Ends ====
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 Running parallel to this saga in between streams of Josh choking himself out over not getting mustard packs in his fast food order, the Gothic Dee Feud would continue when Josh was convinced by a troll that Gothic Dee was making her own wands. Josh would put a curse on Gothic Dee's alleged wand business, so mote it be in the witches circle. However, this curse would misfire, and Gothic Dee's channel would instead take the brunt of this magical assault: Having dealt with too much bullying, Dee would vanish from the internet in short order, her presence in the Cobraverse a tragedy of trolling and misunderstandings.
-A troll would buy the website domain for Cobra Craft Wands, redirecting the link to a gay porn video, allegedly of [[characters:warlord|Alex "Warlord" Campbell]]. This would be leveraged against Josh, as Josh would be subjected to numerous Warlord cock photos and videos.
+A troll would buy the website domain for Cobra Craft Wands, redirecting the link to a gay porn video, allegedly of [[characters:warlord|Alex "Warlord" Campbell]]. This would be leveraged against Josh, as Josh would be subjected to numerous Warlord cock photos and videos over the years.
+==== A new obsession ====
+Josh would have a slight hiatus from making wands, instead choosing to focus on getting a girlfriend - While originally, this would be a waitress at [[places:The Office Bar and Grill]] that he would obsess over named Dani. It would be a significant amount of time before Josh realized that she had been engaged for quite some time, and until then, despite putting in the effort to ask her out, his initial attempt during the fall were foiled by her shift at work being long over.
+Although she had no Facebook profile, Josh would find numerous photos of Dani on The Office's Facebook page, and would later slap them onto a white background with hearts around them, so that "when [I] wake up and go to my computer, the first thing I see... is her pretty face, smiling back at me. Mm." while making distressingly creepy autistic noises.
+==== The Carl incident ====
+During a stream in September, Josh would take a trip down memory lane when a stream chatter spoke of a former developmentally disabled classmate who had lost his mother to cancer. Never one to miss an opportunity for revenge, Josh would spiral into a hate-filled rant about how he wanted to beat the kid's ass during high school, that his father never loved him, and claiming karmic responsibility for the death of Carl's mother. Josh's hatred runneth so far over on this random mentally challenged kid that he legitimately wished that Carl had died in his mothers' stead, using numerous f-slurs in his spiteful tirade. Unsurprisingly, this would draw much criticism from his fans and trolls alike - And while Josh would tell his chat to leave Carl alone, he refused to take back his statements. In fact, a few weeks later he would double down on his previous stance.
 ==== Meeting his idol ====
-In October, Josh would attend an Ozzy Osbourne concert on October 2nd in Denver Colorado, unsharpened wand in tow. In fact, ExhumedVisions was going to drive all the way down from Washington State to cart Josh up to the concert. Sporting his new tactical soap, painting his nails black, using sharpie in lieu of eyeliner, and wearing his Ozzy(actually a Black Sabbath) T-shirt for several days, Josh would arrive halfway through. Josh would claim that during the concert, another concert-goer would recognize him, shouting "Gothic King Cobra! Now it's a party!", a now-infamous phrase in the Cobraverse. The concert would reaffirm Josh's adoration for Ozzy, as Josh would mail off his magic wand he custom-built for the dark prince. At this point, it is unknown whether or not Ozzy even received it.
+In October, Josh would attend an Ozzy Osbourne concert on October 2nd in Denver Colorado, unsharpened wand in tow. In fact, ExhumedVisions was going to drive all the way down from Washington State to cart Josh up to the concert(Which fell through when Clint found someone to take him). Sporting his new tactical soap, painting his nails black, using sharpie in lieu of eyeliner, and wearing his Ozzy(actually a Black Sabbath) T-shirt for several days, Josh would arrive halfway through. Josh would claim that during the concert, another concert-goer would recognize him, shouting "Gothic King Cobra! Now it's a party!", a now-infamous phrase in the Cobraverse. The concert would reaffirm Josh's adoration for Ozzy, as Josh would mail off his magic wand he custom-built for the dark prince. At this point, it is unknown whether or not Ozzy even received it.
-==== Closing out the year ====
+==== In the negative ====
-Josh would have a hiatus from making wands, instead choosing to focus on getting a girlfriend - While originally, this would be an unnamed waitress at [[places:The Office Bar and Grill]] that he would obsess over: He would find numerous photos of her on The Office's Facebook page, and would slap them onto a white background with hearts around them, so that he could "start his morning with her pretty face".
+An oft-recurring theme in the Cobraverse, Josh was running out of money on an very regular basis. And while the simple solution was to stop buying overpriced pizzas and pay his internet bill instead, Josh's hunger often overcame him in financially painful ways. Desperate, Josh would reach out in an attempt to get his Google AdSense pay out faster to no avail.
+Getting further in the dumps, Josh would pick a fight with [[characters:Bitesize Cobra Vids]] and AnonymousCasperWY(Which he calls "Casper Anonymous") after discovering their video content surrounding his highly regarded antics. Josh clearly felt that his reuploaded and lean content viciously mocked him, and would go on numerous hate-filled rants about how Bitesize's reuploaded content of deleted videos may scare potential suitors away from him - As if the alcoholic, bug-eyed, gourd-shaped head of a balding twenty-something with Asperger's syndrome wasn't enough to begin with.
+==== Gifts and Gaffes ====
+Josh would receive many interesting gifts, some courtesy of Cobra superfan ExhumedVisions, and others of a more sicko-related nature. Perhaps most infamously is the gift of The Cock Holster - A pair of neon-green briefs with a special sleeve for his Cobra Jr. Josh would put this on and show off his fully erect dingus in said holster during a Facebook stream, and summarily would receive a 30-day ban for his trouble.
+^ {{:sagas:the_holster.png?400|}}|
+|//Josh proudly displaying the holster//|
+Josh would claim "double standards" over this Facebook ban, not understanding that showing off a very obvious and erect phallus on a live stream would generally be regarded in a negative light. This concept of double standards would become a staple in KingCobraJFS' arguments and rants regarding "gender relations" for decades to come.
+==== Rockin' Good Time ====
+Much of early 2019 was a soft continuation of The Rage Saga by means of his endless crusade against the Troles, namely increasing his wand prices to account for the new addition of copper wire wrapped around the handles, and fielding nonstop prank calls and texts live on stream. To keep his spirits up during these troubling times, Josh would have a pizza party with known sex pest and sicko Scrapper Steve, alongside Steve's girlfriend Heather(Who appears in a manner similar to that of a hostage). The now-infamous video titled "Pizza hut food review" would feature Josh, Steve, and Heather eating pizza in an unfurnished room in a notably awkward and uncomfortable video where Steve clarifies that he and Josh are just friends, culminating in Steve saying the phrase //"It's a rockin' good time..."//
+^{{:sagas:heather.png?400|}}|
+|//Heather not having a rockin' good time//|
+==== Alex Anderson's last hurrah ====
+Josh would spend the months of January and February moping around and complaining about Gender Relations to a sickening degree. In February, Josh would have a heart-to-heart when well-respected homeboy [[characters:Alex Anderson]] would arrive with booze, spiraling into a long-winded rant about his ex-wife cheating on him and attempting to play it off as a "massage".
+Alex would make his final appearance in the Cobraverse in a "Chillin" video, where he would espouse numerous infamous one-liners, glaze his best bud to the moon and back, and generally bring his upbeat attitude to brighten up the day of a pissy Josh Saunders. Sadly, this would be the last time the beloved blond Wyoming native would be seen, as on the 28th of March of the same year, Alex would die of a seizure in his mother's basement. This would leave Josh and Cobra fans alike devastated, as Alex Anderson was a popular homeboy in Josh's videos.  \\
+Josh would make a video about a week later, mourning the passing of a man who truly embodied the Homeboy lifestyle. Josh would get drunk and make numerous drink combo videos to ease the pain in Alex's absence.
+==== Magical prowess ====
+In April, Josh would record another infamous video of him walking around, in which he would show off another display of gothic magic: Turning a street light on. Please disregard the fact that it was just becoming night time, when street lights automatically switch on.
+==== Scotty's not dead? ====
+Much of 2019 would pass without consequence, as Josh would post a number of videos food hacks, gender relation rants, food challenge videos, and perhaps the greatest of all, videos where he wandered around Casper. However in June, Josh would have the infamous "Gas station food hack with Scotty" video, where deadbeat dad and questionably alive Homeboy Scotty would appear on screen for only a fraction of a second, demanding not to be shown on camera. \\
+Josh would shave his head entirely bald after fucking up his own haircut, and would show it off to own the trolls.
+==== Cobra gets SWATTED ====
+continues to pass with little of note until the 23rd, when a troll would call in a fake threat to the local Casper police department while Josh was livestreaming. Josh would continue to use this incident as ammunition against his trolls for years to come. Josh would even get some public recognition from this event when a local newspaper would interview him on details of the swatting. To lift his spirits, a fan would pay notable investigative journalist Chris Hansen by means of cameo to say that his team would be looking for the person responsible for his SWATting, which Josh took as gospel.
+==== Significance ====
+The Rage Saga is a vastly underrated saga in Boglim History, as much of what makes the early KingCobraJFS content so intriguing is his unbridled rage towards any and all parties who dare cross him, alongside the implementation of many mainstay talking points and central Cobra-related items. While other sagas may have grander highs and more destructive lows, it's sagas like the Rage Saga that go the most towards building the Boglim we see today.
 ===== Trivia =====
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   * In a video reviewing Steel Reserve during September, Josh would mention that he hung out with Ellen, although she would not be mentioned by name. Although Josh would allege Ellen said "I would give you some if I could", and would get a boner from Ellen giving her a hug.
   * This saga is believed to be one of the origins for the extremely infamous nickname of "BOY" as well as "Bud", as trolls would impersonate [[characters:Clint Saunders|Homedad Clint]] on his Facebook live streams.
+  * Josh would start making rant videos and thought loops about pedophiles, also known as "sickos", and how much he hated them.
+  * Additionally, this would be about the starting point of Josh's "Gender Relations" rants.
+  * Long-time fan Jesus Morris would do an apartment tour of Josh's bog den in November, displaying the absolute levels of depravity the boglim was already achieving.
+{{page>:blurbs#The KingCobraJFS Story}}