Original Video: Spicy Sea Burger

What is up? YouTube. The boy King Colbert back at you with another video. Ha ha. Last night I did all my laundry in my dirty hamper. My dirty laundry hamper. Do you know what I'm saying? And like, that didn't cost nearly as much. I literally paid three dollars to do all the laundry in my hamper. One dollar to wash it and then like two dollars to dry it. But the comforter on the other hand, now I washed my pillowcases with my laundry, but I ended up doing the comforter and the sheet separately. I guess how much I paid to wash and dry my comforter. I paid a dollar to wash my sheet and my comforter at the same time. Then I ended up paying like three to four dollars just to wash this. But that's okay, it was totally worth it, you too, totally worth it. Reason I say that I just got over being sick. And I might have like a little bit of ear pressure left in this ear right here but it's doable like I can deal with it. That shit will go away eventually. But when you just got over being sick sometimes you'll cough and sneeze in your sleep and when you cough and sneeze in your sleep you get snot and mucus all over your bedding and that's just gross dude you know what I'm saying so like yeah now if I got chicks coming over and the first thing they see is oh, the bed's made and it's clean. Hey! That says a lot about a person, you know. Check out my shirts and my pajamas, yeah. Anyways, like I said, you know, if a girl comes over and And even if you come off as creepy most of the time, at least when women come over, they're like, hey, you know, for a bachelor, at least his apartment's clean, and his bed's clean, and it smells nice. Anyways, in honor of Halloween, coming up tomorrow, ha ha, we're going to get into a little bit of mischief and we're going to make a crazy ass burger. Oh yeah. This burger I'm about to make is called the Spicy C. Burger as an ocean sea yes I'm gonna show you a little trick to cooking your burgers a little faster your burger is a little faster. Before I get started on that, I figured I'd have some caffeine to start off my day. Well, fuck! I almost dropped it. I was already in a pissed off mood because I dropped my fucking phone behind my bed earlier. So I had to grab my Cobra cane to kind of hook it and drag it from underneath my bed. And then I almost fucking drop my soda. I'm like, nope. Must be a fucking Monday! Oh, I fucking hate Mondays. What a coincidence, so does Garfield. Uh. I'm all like, I fucking hate Mondays. And then I'm like, oh, what a coincidence, so does Garfield. I suppose to lighten the mood. I want to load some pipe tobacco. This here is creamy vanilla. Pipe tobacco. And this is one of those pipe tobacco is that smells good. You get a pipe tobacco that smells good. Most non-smokers aren't going to bitch about it. And when you're out of cigarettes, literally when you're out of cigarettes, pipe tobacco is a lifesaver. It's so much cheaper than cigarettes. It has way less chemicals than cigarette tobacco and to most non-smokers it smells better and it's cheaper than cigarettes. So if that's the case how come most people aren't smoking a pipe? Good question YouTube. That's because smoking a pipe, it's cool, it's awesome, I enjoy it. But it's kind of a pain in the ass sometimes. You know, if you overstuff your bowl full of tobacco, you gotta unclog it. Your, um, your bowl is shank and stem stem get clogged very easily. Oh, this pipe doesn't get clogged very easily unless I'm smoking a very moist tobacco out of it. And even then, it's super easy to unclog. I've noticed that my tobacco pipe is super easy to unclog, so that's, you know, a bonus. But your pipes get clogged and you gotta pack your bowl just right. Not too loose, but not too tight, you know. Tight enough that it'll stay in there when you light it. You know. Tight enough that it'll stay in there when you light it. I'm gonna have to visit the tobacco store tomorrow. I'm gonna have to visit the tobacco store tomorrow. I'm gonna have to visit the tobacco store on Halloween, if I can. tobacco store on Halloween if I can. Because yeah. I took some of my hand, I just scoop it into the bowl, and kind of push it down in there. Not too hard but just hard enough to get in there. And repeat the process. I got… Not too hard, but just hard enough to get in there. And repeat the process. Again. Just like that. And now you want to take all your tobacco. Take your finger and kind of press it down. Don't like, you know what I'm saying? Kind of very lightly, very lightly press it down. It's like clay, almost. You want to work your tobacco into your bowl. Look at that, tobacco stem. When your pipe tobacco is so fresh you get tobacco stems. It gets towards the top and takes your thumb, do the same thing, or your finger. I would consider that a very full bowl of tobacco. And I take any excess… Any excess that's left, just put it back in your bag. Just like that. So before I get into making my burger here. Before getting to making my burger I'm going to enjoy my first smoke of the day. This burger is going to be weird and random, but that's okay. That's why you guys watch, isn't it? guys watch, isn't it? Now, like I said, I love burgers. They're delicious. cheeseburgers are the shiznet. Bacon cheeseburgers are where it's at, though. I don't have any bacon, but I do have burger patties and cheese. So, just because bacon's kind of expensive and you know That's one extra step or I mean for you know There's a budget your shit, you know what I'm saying? Yeah And for the longest time people were just like Oh, I want a cooking video and well when you want a cooking video. And, well, when you ain't got nothing to cook, kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it? Just to force a habit I want to take my pipe tool I want to poke it down into the middle of the pipe tobacco. Go underneath it and scoop up just a little bit. There we go. Go underneath it with the poker and scoop up. All the while I'm making sure that this tobacco is nice and evenly packed into the bowl. I was checking the draw on my pipe and um… That seems to have a nice draw on it. All right. Charly. Boom. All right, charlight, boom. And we'll take your packer and see all that ash from that top light. You're going to take it and very gently just take your pipe tool and you're going to pack all that ash from that first light down on top of your tobacco just like that. Give it a nice pack. There we go. Now for the main light. And just like that, you're not supposed to inhale pipe tobacco, you're supposed to puff on it and let the taste, oh that tobacco, roll across your tongue, like sipping a fine wine. But me, I'll inhale it. So before I get into making that burger I want to have some pipe tobacco and you know. I'm not going to smoking anytime soon, but you want my advice. If you're gonna quit smoking cigarettes, pick up the pipe. Sincerely, it's way better for you than vaping. You know what I'm saying? Ugh, dude. like, ugh, dude. A lot of people like to vape because, you know, it smells good. Well, let's be brutally honest here. If you're inhaling a water-based liquid into your lungs, you know, I mean, come on. Some people, I've had a lot of people on YouTube and Facebook alike. Have you tried vaping? Have you tried vaping? You should try vaping. Have you tried vaping? And it's like, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who. Yes. I have tried vaping on more than one occasion. It's all right, but… I really don't care for it, be honest. Like I've tried vaping a couple times and you know some of the flavors are decent you know I like some of the flavors they have I like some of the flavors they have to offer but like if I'm smoking on a vapor pen my body reacts reacts to it, like, what the fuck are you doing? This isn't natural. And you can't tell me this isn't a gorgeous tobacco pipe. Shwanky baby. Maybe. One second. Set that down for a second. I'll do a can crush for all my fans. Boom, just like that. I'm gonna toss this in the trash, I'll be right back. Yeah, that's okay. I need a pan for it. Yeah, this will do. The only thing I need a pan for is to toast my sandwich bread. Or my hamburger bread, if you will. And I don't need a ridiculously huge pan to do it you know. Oh wait don't you need a don't you need a pan to cook your burger patty? Not really no. I want to show you a life hack with this recipe. If you want to make cheeseburgers, but you don't want to make a mess all over your stove because let's face it people. Let's face facts. Okay?, when you're cooking burgers on your stove, you go to flip it and you get burger grease all over your stove and it's just like nah, nah, nah, no, no. Really, if you grab a bowl, a microwave safe bowl, you can stick your burger patty in the bowl and microwave it all the way through and it cooks. No bullshit. And cooking your burger patty in the microwave, it's a lot quicker, so, you know. Sieve, a little bit of time in the kitchen. Oh yes, the Spicy Sea Burger. I've been telling people on Facebook about it and people are getting all kinds of stoked for a King Cobra cooking video. I'm I was about to dump my pipe tobacco ash, but there might be just smoking and drinking soda. Yeah. On a side note, I'm not even focused on dating right now, to be honest. You know, if the right girl comes along, it'll happen, but right now I'm not even tripping out about it. You get told no by every girl you crush on. you know, you're not exactly going to be in a, you're not exactly going to be in a hurry to put yourself out there. That's just truth. All right. Okay, that uh, I'll blow my nose real quick. One second. That's better. Oh, I farted. Excuse me. I want to take this pan and I want to take this pan and turn the stove on to medium. First thing I want to do is I want to toast my sandwich bread. And I have right here, as you can see, I got Texas toast for my sandwich bread. God damn it Here's the fucking kicker of it. If your god damn stole burners aren't hooked up, guess what? If they're not hooked up right, it's not going to heat up. Hold on a second YouTube. I'll set the camera down right here. All right, try this again. I'm Fucking trash cans right there, all right. Huh. Hey. Fuck! It's definitely a fucking fucking Monday. Try to make a decent cooking video, my god damn stove doesn't want to work. I'm Chiefty motherfucker Okay, here we go. We got a burner over here that's working. Okay, this burner right here? Yes. Okay. Okay. All right. So what I'm gonna do is I wanna take Tony seasoning is gonna be used for the bread and the paddy. So what I wanna do, fuck, pour some in the lid over the trash can. Oh, that's too much. We don't need that much now. Okay. Put a little bit just like that I want to put this side down first whoop just like that and then do the same thing for the other side side. Just like that. I should have washed my spatula before doing this video. Fuck it. Very carefully. Use my fingers and kind of, whoop, just like that. You don't use my hands to flip the bread. I would not recommend that because it's dangerous, but normally you use a spatula or something, you know. I'll. This right here will probably be the most time-consuming part of making this. It's just making sure that… Oh yeah, there we go. Let's get a little bit of toast action go on that's what's up So lightly toasted that is, oh that's beautiful. That is beautiful. I'm Okay, this this one's toasted perfectly. There's our bottom bun. All right. So I'm going to repeat the process. Then repeat the process. Okay. Repeat the process. I might do a little bit more on this. Oh, just like that. I might do a little bit more on this side just because this side's pretty toasted but this side's still hmm. Hot! Okay. Do a little bit more on this side. Now you see that we got a nice even toast on both sides that looks really good. A little bit more on this side Boom, beautiful. All right. Turn that stove off. All right, this, we're going to set over here for now. Okay, so now we got our sandwich bread nice and toasted looking real good right there and now comes to this this part right here okay set the camera gun just like that's all right These are great value beef burgers. They are 75% mean and looks like 25% fat. There's a total of 12 patties in here. There we are. Make sure that that's sealed back up. Okay. Now for our cheese, we're going to use some pepper jack, Habero, jalapeno, cheese. This is Pepper Jack, habaner, jalapino deli style cheese seasoning for the patty. Not a whole lot though. Only one slice. Let's set that to the side. Put this back in the fridge. Okay. Now watch this…… The back of the fridge. Okay. Boom, take the paper off and take my Tony seasoning and then put a little bit on my patty, go like that, put one side, put one side, season it, put that side, put one side, season it, put that side down. All right. I'll just like that seasoning. As you can see I put a little bit on each side. And now we're going to take this burger patty over to this very powerful microwave. And we'll stick that in there just like that. Um… Um… How are you going to melt the cheese on there? We'll get to that in a second. I think four minutes should be enough to cook this all the way through. We'll see though. all the way through. We'll see though. And again like if you want to avoid getting grease all over your fucking stove, this is like the best way to do it. Shoo. Kind of… I'm watching it rotate in the microwave here. Now instead of… Now instead of getting grease all over your stove, if you cook a burger patty and a bowl you're gonna get a bunch of grease in the bottom of your bowl basically. Just uh full warn you. Mmm. I could smell that burger parity cooking in the marker wave. That shit smelled good. You're thinking to yourself, there's no way a microwave is going to cook a whole entire burger patty. Oh, you'd be surprised. You would be surprised, YouTube. I hear it sizzling. Oh, you hear that? I hear it. Oh yeah. I hear it sizzling. I never actually had this particular type of patty. I've always done burger patties that were less concentrated in fat, but let's figure out switch it up a little bit. Oh yeah. From the looks of it, that say four minutes in a very powerful four minutes in a very powerful four minutes in a very powerful mnike away if that should be enough to cook it all the way through Oh yeah definitely four seconds three two one Mmm. Fuck that's hot. What do you think, YouTube, you think that's cooked all the way through? I think so. I think I might have cooked it a little too long. That patty shrank, immensely after cooking it there. Okay, um, that's right, still a burger. Okay. I'm gonna set the camera down right here for a second. All I take care of this. Actually use this when I'm sitting on a button. Be very careful about this next process. This next process. Very careful with it, because, you know, burger patty's hot. Hot. All right. I'm going to… Ah, fuck! I'm going to… Fuck! Oh! Maybe microwave it for a little less time because that patty shrank pretty significantly like that's… I don't know. There we go. Yeah. Or some of that grease on to that sandwich, so it doesn't go to waste. All right. Okay, so now your burger is just about complete. See what it looks like so far. Okay, I'll take this cheese. And we're going to shred it up into into pieces here just like that. Okay. Now what I'm going to do is I'm going to take this sandwich I'll start off with one. And we'll take the top bun, set it to the side real quick. And this bottom section, we're going to melt the cheese in the microwave once again. Only I think maybe like two minutes. I'll start off with one minute and see how that does. One minute should be enough to like melt the cheese a little bit. We'll see. Oh yeah, one minute was definitely enough. Okay, stop. 28 seconds. At 28 seconds, man, that cheese was already… Okay. Now you see that, at 28 seconds, that cheese is already melted. All right, I moved this wand, then I went to mail off at some point to the side here just like that. Okay. Now to complete this burger. Now to complete this burger. The Spicycy Sea Burger. Yeah buddy. Let's see, we need… This stuff. This stuff. And… Where the fuck? Sardines, baby! Bumblebee sardines smell amazing. All right so what I want to do is I want to take dig out one of these huge ass sardines just like that and take this sardines just like that and we're going to take this sardine and we're going to take this sardine and we'll break it up. And put it on there. Seems how the patty was kind of small after I cooked it. We'll make up for that. I'm just going to take chunks of sardine and we're going to get real messy making it so just a heads up. There we go. Those are pretty tasty sardines. I can dig it. Go ahead and put a little bit more on the top. There we go. Here's the C part of our burger. There we go. Here's the C part of our burger. There we go, just like that. Go and stick this delicious bastard back in the fridge. Now we need just about two more things.. Just two more things… You know we need just about two more things to complete this burger. Just two more things, two. Spicy pork grinds. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, you're telling me that I'm putting sardines and spicy pork grinds on a burger. That's just weird, man. And you would expect nothing else from this guy. All right, take these spicy pork grins right on top Right on top I take these spicy pork grins and go like that. Take these spicy pork grands and kind of press them down into the burger. Oop. And kind of press them down into the burger. Oh, All right people, we're just about done with making this burger. Look at that monstrosity. And now for the Coupte desistants to really bring the spicy to this spicy sea burger. Okay, we got this spicy to this spicy enough man. Boom. You know what this is? YouTube? This is Primos Peppers. Oh yes. Primos Peppers. Swampidelic Hot Sauce. Mineblowing. Swamp spicier than the devil's pecker. Oh yeah, this is good hot sauce man, but this hot sauce a little bit goes a long way. So, uh, yeah, if you're super sensitive to spicy food, this is not the hot sauce for you. However if you're a pepper junkie and you love spicy food you gotta give this shit a try. Now here's the thing about swampodelic hot sauce you can't order it in stores or anything like you can't go to the store and get it you have to go online to order it. Now if you'd like to buy a bottle of swamp Adele hot sauce go to www dot primos peppers dot com and you should be able to order some of this delicious hot sauce and now it's a complete the burger we're going to add just a little bit of swamp. some of this delicious hot sauce. And now to complete the burger, we're going to add just a little bit of swamp. Swamp idyllic, man! All right. That's enough to cover the burger. Just enough. Just sprinkle over the top of the burger there. That was a full cap full, mind you. And maybe a little bit more. Just a little bit. Sorry about that, my hand was in the way. Boom, there we go. And, uh… Well… Well… Maybe just a little bit of ranch. Just a little bit of ranch. There we go. Gotta have something to wash it down with. All right. All right, you two. Look at this monstrosity go ahead and push that bun down boom look at that bun down boom look at that burger YouTube boom the spicy sea burger boom look at that burger YouTube. Boom, the spicy sea burger. Oh yeah, look at that, look at that. I don't know, some of you are probably looking at this burger like, that looks fucking disgusting, and some of you are probably looking at this burger like, damn! Disgusting and some of you are probably looking at this burger like damn All right, so what I want to do now Is I want to? Mm, smells good in here Take my delicious sandwich Yeah And I want you sit down on my desk just like that and just so my phone doesn't die while I am recording the last of this video, I'm going to plug in my phone real quick. Boom, just like that. Plug in my phone so I can set the camera down just like that. All right. Boom! The Spicy Sea Burger! Look at that. Look at that. That is definitely an interesting combination going there. Yeah. It's good a nice little 360 of it. Boom. I'm gonna tell you right now, this is as weird as it gets. I don't know, maybe some of you out there might come up with a weirder burger. I don't know. Excuse me. But without further ado, I'm going to at this burger people. Is this crazy shit or what? Well, I made it so of course I'm going to eat it. No telling how it's going to taste, but… Yeah. All that grease that I poured on the burger earlier, it's soaked through the bottom of the bun just like that. Oh yeah. So at this bottom part's a little moist from all that grease, but that's all right. Boom. The Spicy Sea Burger. Cheers, YouTube. Oh yeah, I'm digging it. There's that cross section right there. You see the sardines and the spicy pork or the spicy pork grinds and the sardines right there. My taste buds are liking this burger. Yeah buddy there's that heat that swampodelics hot sauce is no one for hmm. Mmm this burger turned out amazing had a little bit of difficulty getting the a stove going but… turned out amazing had a little bit of difficulty getting the cooked the paddy all the way through. I don't know. If y'all want to give this burger a try, I just showed you how to make it. Pretty simple, pretty straightforward. Some of you are probably like, oh, he put sorghi, he's on a burger, that's just gross. And some of you are probably like, hey, you know what, that looks pretty good, I try it. They've certainly put crazier things on sea burger. Oh man. Yeah, there's a reason why it's called the spicy sea burger. Because it's definitely spicy My lips are tingling. What a power through this bitch. Oh, yeah. I'm Whoo. Um. Ah! One more bite. Boom, plates empty, burgers finished, a- All right, one second. I blow my nose man, that shit cleared up my sinuses. Oh yeah. Well, YouTube, that burger was delicious in my opinion. That, um, yeah. My taste was going to be a little bit numb for the next couple of minutes, but… That's all right. I've got some water right here. I can… Ah! That burger was crazy spicy. If you like spicy food that definitely will do it. Crack open another soda here. Well damn YouTube I mean for this video to take an hour along but Spend 25 minutes at the beginning of the video. Well, that burger was delicious, spicy food is holy shit man. That uh… that clears out your sciences. Oh man, that's swampodelic hot sauce. That's swampodelic hot sauce. That's just gnarily shit man. I'm Oh. I know the canned crush for all my awesome fans and then an awesome burger. Oh God. I drank just a little bit of milk to help cool off my mouth here. Like half a cup should do it. Like half a cup should do it. Yeah buddy Swampadilac hot sauce is just one of those hot sauce is that man the only thing that's gonna cool your fucking mouth off after eating that is milk There you go. In honor of Halloween, I made a weird-ass burger or some weird-ass ingredients. But I showed you how to make it. It's pretty straightforward. Oh yeah. That milk, delicious. At least now I'm not like hungry anymore. I woke up hungry anymore. I woke up hungry and now I'm kind of full. I'm not like hungry anymore. I woke up, I woke up hungry and now I'm I'm kind of full so there you go there you go me so if you like my cooking videos smash that like button and I'll try to get more cooking videos when I can. And my glasses are filthy. Oh man, I can feel that sandwich burning in my, I can feel that sandwich burning in my stomach right now. I definitely need to smoke after eating. That's probably enough for like one more bowl of pipe tobacco, maybe a bowl and a half. I'm There we go, another delicious bowl of pipe tobacco, right there. Boom. I'm Oh, well there you go YouTube. Brand new cooking video for your sick entertainment Until then, this is King Cobra JFS with another video. Thank you for watching. And, um… I'll catch you cool cobras on the flip side.