Original Video: The return of Shon and Saunders

The Oh, the the the the the the the the the What's up, you two? How you doing today? the Well YouTube I didn't just come here to play some gnarly ask guitar for your sick entertainment. Well YouTube I didn't just come here to play some gnarly asked guitar for your sick entertainment. I think an old friend of ours would like to, uh… I think, YouTube, an old friend of ours would like to make a guest appearance. You might know him as… wise cracking funeral home director Sean. So let's give a big warm welcome to, yeah, my dummy Sean. Sean just had some work done on him. What kind of work you asked? Well if you noticed how Sean's so-called suit looks a bit more professional, more put together. That's because I took a little bit bit more professional more put together. That's because I took a little bit of guerrilla glue and I went in like right here and a little bit right there a little bit right there and I glued his suits onto him in place so that his suit would quit falling off and that way I can still you know turn his head like with with my hand like that and he can still talk as far as I know as far as you know as far as you know as far as you know yeah as far as I know how you doing good how the fuck are you so Sean where do you work well? I work you have some good news. Yes I do. What's your good news? Where do you work? Well, I work at a funeral home. You work at a funeral home? Yeah, I'm used to seeing assholes with no lives. And tonight's no exception. Fuck you, Sean. So Sean, I heard you have some good news. Yes, I do. What's your good news? Well, my good news is, I got me a girlfriend. Well, well, well, well, what? Well, my good. Well, my good news is, I got me a girlfriend. Well, all right, Sean, you found yourself a girlfriend rock and roll man, what's her name? Rosie Paul. What the hell is that? I was my buddy Alex. My buddy Alex has grandma seizures, yeah. And you needed a place to rest up a bit, so his Dorfins in his brain wouldn't overfire oh that was nice of you yeah you know what her home is for right so Sean what's what's your girlfriend's name oh it's a fun-sized f Alicia or she likes to be called f Alicia ah that's cool that's cool so how old cool. So how old is FunSass Felicia? Well, she's 21, right on. Where does she work? She works at Hot Topic. That's cool, right on, Sean. Well, congratulations. Yeah, it's weird. What? Before, I didn't think I had a dick. That was just the stuff Bonnie. Yeah, what happened? Well, one night with me and fun science Felicia, we're about to have sex for the first time. All of a sudden, my dick just magically appeared. Wait, what? You're telling me your dick just magically appeared. Everything. Huh. So you got to have sex? Uh-huh. I'm no longer a virgin. Right on it, Sean. Congratulations. Hell yeah. Did she like it? Well, I think so. You know? Actually, can I tell you a secret? What? You promise you won't laugh? Uh, yeah, Sean, I won't laugh. What's your secret? Well, do you want she told me after we got down having sex? Sean. She on told me that My dick was all right, but it was nowhere near as good as yours That's what she said, huh? Yeah, that's what she said. No, but seriously? You fuck my girlfriend? Well Sean, I'm not gonna lie. I did have sex with your girlfriend. I knew it, but this is before you two got together. Uh-huh. Hey Sean what I fucked your bitch? Fuck you! Hey Sean what? What? Hey Sean what?- Wh—- What? Hey Sean, what? Hey Sean, what? Guess what? What? My dick's better than your dick. Even your girlfriend said so, Fuck you! Well, are we gonna talk to fun-size Felicia in this video? Well, I told her you were doing a ventr kit and she said maybe in another video she'll be she'll make a guest appearance. Yeah she said something about being tired and not want to deal with my shit. I don't know what that means. Wait you're saying that she said she was tired and she didn't want to deal with your shit. Yeah, that's what shit yeah that's what she said oh Sean she's mad at you what the hell did I do no fella seriously when your woman's pissed off at you and you have no idea hashtag what the fuck did men do right? shit Shit! Oh. So what'd you have to piss her off? I don't know! As a guy… I don't… Why are you asking me this? Well you told me that Felicia didn't want to deal with your shit and that, uh… Well, I don't know, I mean… What happened? Well, I had a lunch break, you had a lunch break, yeah. So would you do for your lunch break? I went to the mall to see my girlfriend on her lunch break, uh-huh. What happened? Well…… She caught you doing what? I'll tell you another secret. Sure, Sean, what's your other secret? I was checking out. You were checking out. Who? What? I was checking on another girl when she walked up to me. She totally caught me staring, bro…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. when she walked up to me. She totally caught me staring, bro. Oh. So your girlfriend got you checking on another girl? Yeah. But the strange thing is, I saw her stalking your Facebook page when we were at lunch. And she tried to play it off like, oh, la-la-da. And I said, you were just getting pissed off at me for checking out another girl. What the fuck are you doing? Checking out this guy's Facebook over here. And you know what she told me? What? That's when she said it. Right in front of everybody in the food court, huh? Yeah. food court, huh? Yeah, she said that my dick was all right, but your dick was so much better made her feel like a real woman. Oh Sean You cuck-lored me. I did not cook over to you Sean. Y'all be basically dead. You might as well have no Well, I'm pissed. Why should you? Oh, come on, Sean. I hooked you up with the girlfriend. I fixed your suit so your suit wasn't falling off of you. Yeah, thanks for plenty of fucking jokes Well, what kind of jokes do you have? I got skeleton jokes You have skeleton jokes. Yes Well, what's the skeleton joke that you know? Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? I don't know Sean why didn't the skeleton cross the road he didn't have the guts to do it restaurant. Bonabatithe's, ah ha ha ha, ah ha, ah. Hey Sean, what? Do you have a No Skeleton joke? Yeah. What did the skeleton say when he was on the cruise ship? I don't know, what did the skeleton say when he was on the cruise ship? Bon Viagie! Ah, hey Josh, what, Sean, what, Sean? What? Where's your question? What's a skeleton's favorite food? I don't know, Sean. What is a skeleton's favorite food? Barbicue ribs? Ha ha ha ha! Get it! Hold on, I got another one. You got another one? Yeah. Okay, what's your other skeleton joke? What kind of musical instrument does a skeleton play? I don't know, Sean, what kind of musical instrument does a skeleton play? A trombone! Ah! Ohhh. You need to quit smoking. Fuck you, you smoke too. Yeah, speaking of which, give me that. and is so stressful. Oh yeah, having a girl that loves you and wants to be with you, yeah, sounds real stressful. Shut up, you know what I meant. Do you have any more skeleton jokes? Yes, I do. What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton? I don't know, Sean, what did one skeleton say to the other skeleton? I have a bone to pick with you. get it, a bone to pick with you. Get it? A bone to pick with you? Oh my god, Sean, that's horrible. Not nearly as horrible as you're from truiloquism. Holy shit, we can see your lips move. And guess what, Sean? What? We can see your lips move too. girlfriend? Oh okay yeah you know what at least your girlfriend says that my cock is better than your cock? Yeah well I found somebody. Guess what Josh? what? I'll let you win on a secret except it's no secret what? You're gonna be alone the rest of your life. No girl wants you. Shut up Sean. Ha ha! It's the fucking truth. Isn't it? These tricks are either too intimidated by your good looks or they're creeped out by you because I don't know you. Face it, you're going to be alone the rest of your life. Sitting here on fucking YouTube playing with dolls. How's that make you feel? feel knowing that no girl wants your sorry autistic ass. You know what Sean what? What? I'll have you know there are plenty of girls out there who would love to date me. Yeah fucking right. I'll have you know Sean that some of my fans are female. Uh-huh. You keep telling yourself that dude. Most of your fans are gay and obsessed with you. You know this right? And most of them are just fucking with you. You know this right?…… not all my fans are like that. Well, I'm just saying Fucking a loser you know what Sean what I fucked your girlfriend. You know what? fuck you You're a shitty ass from Chilikistan You're shitty ask for a chilikistan. What the hell is that? My attempt at Vintriloquins of watch. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I didn't know you were Vintriloquins. Yeah, watch me make my hand talk. Hi everybody. I'm Sean's hand. Nice to meet you all. Hey Sean, what's going on hand? Can I give you a hand or anything? Well that was your ventriloquism Sean. Yeah, would you think? What? What? Fuck you. I'm ten times the ventrila crest you'll ever be. Yeah. We can see your lips move. My what? My hips move? No, your lips. My lits? You saw I can't have a speech impediment, Sean. Not my fault, you suck a quiz them. Holy shit Lippos Oh lips. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what can you do it? What? What me say impossible without moving my lips? Yeah? Is it impossible to say impossible without moving your lips? Yeah. Is it? I don't know, Sean, you tell me. It doesn't seem that impossible. No, it doesn't seem that impossible. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. my lits my lits still ahh what are you doing being my head against your bony ass knee because you were so fucking obnoxious uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh i want to get a brain concussion but you don't have a brain what makes you think i don't have a brain? Well, Sean, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but… What? You're dummy. So? That doesn't mean shit! 20 minutes of this shit. How do people sit through it? Hey, you know what, Sean? To be fair, there are some people who like watching my videos. Okay, there are plenty of people out there who love to watch my videos. Well, they're delusional and on drugs. No, they're not. Yes, they're not. Yes, no, yes, they are. No, they're not. Yes, they are. No, they're not. Yes, they are. No, they're not. Yes, no, they're not. Yes, they are. No, they're not. Sean, yes, they are. They're on drugs and alcohol. And just like you, they're going nowhere with their life and they feel comfort seeing somebody else go through the same exact shit. You know what, Sean? What? A lot of my fans are a lot better off than I am right now and maybe they just like watching my videos because maybe I'm entertaining. You're entertaining. Yeah What the hell is this? You're entertaining. Yeah, I'm Tony Hawk. Where the fuck's my skateboard? Sean behave now What the hell was that? That's my good man was a thought. Wait wait, wait, wait, come here come here what I have a secret You have a secret. Yes, what's your secret? Well, oh, oh God damn it You're not gonna start burping and farting in my face are you and on my lap? Wait. What do you mean? Which one's in your lap and which one's in your face? You know what I meant? You're not going to start… Well, you didn't make it sound like… Right. Like, why the fuck would I want to burp in your lap? That's just no do I look like a felt shit? Don't be like that you nasty fucker. I'm just saying Sean what? You know what I meant quit farting in my lap and burbing in my face Fuh Fuck you Ooo! That fucking hurt you see this people you see what I have to work with? The fucking domestic abuse you see this people? You see what I have to work with? The fucking domestic abuse? Do you see this shit? God! Oh yeah, you're going to be an awesome ventiliquist someday. What do you mean by that? Hi, my name is Josh. I'm a ventiliquist with a hole in my throat. Shut the fuck up, Sean. Ah! I happen to be stuffed up right now, that's what she said. Oh my God. I saw what she said when you were stuffing her. Oh. You know what? Fuck this. I'm going back on the shelf. You're no fun. You don't have any more skeleton jokes? Yeah, I got one. You want the male skeleton said to the female skeleton? What? I jumped them bones. Ha ha!………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. Uh-huh-huh-huh. One skeleton puts the strap on on, okay. A skeleton wears the strap on, then what? He fucks the female skeleton in her eye socket and he says, talk about the skull-fucking. Ha-huh-huh-huh. Do you have any more jokes, Sean? Yeah, I got a joke. What's your joke? What's a necrophiliac's favorite musical group? Hmm. It's nasty, but I don't know Sean. What is a necrophiliac's favorite musical group? Whah-nah-nah-nah-huh-huh-huh! Are you done freezing up for the booth? Holy shit, right in the middle of fucking joke. Fuck this bullshit. It's bad enough you have to hit me and fuck my girlfriend and now fotibout doesn't want to cooperate? Fock this shit! Calm down, Sean. No! I'm pissed. Donald Trump's president! We could have had Bernie Sanders, but no! That caught Hillary Clinton had to cheat him out of the nomination! Fuck! I voted for Gary Johnson, but it didn't do any fucking good, did it? Borshait! I got bigger hands than Donald Trump. Look at these things! Josh!!… my hands! Donald Trump, look at these things! Josh! What's on? Look at these things! Look at my hands! I see your hands. What's your points? You already know. Fucking sick of this shit, motherfarts. What was your joke? Well, I don't know if I can tell it because photo booth might glitch. I think photo booth is not going to glitch up. We'll see. What was your joke again? Ah! Anyways, as I was saying before photo booth rudely interrupted me. Hey Josh, what's up Sean? What is… Oh, your string's coming loose. Fixed my string, asshole, I'm sorry. God! What was your joke? Well, if the string's fixed… Kind of, yeah, good, good, okay. What was your joke, Sean? Well, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, and he dropped my string, what is a necrophiliac's favorite musical group? I don't know, Sean, what is a necrophiliac's favorite musical group? I don't know Sean, what is an equifiliac's favorite musical group? The Grateful Dead! That's a fucking knee slapper! Ha ha ha! That's disgusting. Your face is disgusting. You know what Sean? Fuck you, have a good more jokes. Oh, you're… that fits your string again. Yeah, I got a joke. What's your joke? What's Caitlin's favorite car? I don't know, Sean. What is Caitlin's favorite car? Ah, trans! A trans… A-huh! Get it, because she's transgender! Oh, my God, Sean, what? I think you've seriously just offended trans-am lovers and grateful dead fans everywhere. Oh, I'm sorry. Are you really? No! I'm such a fucking stinkerinker aren't I folks? Gee I can't imagine why your girlfriend is fed up with your shit. You know what? You leave fun size for Alicia out of this mister. How long is this video? 27-fucking minutes? Almost 28 minutes of this crap! Fucking shitty-ask guitar playing and shitty ass with trulochism. Hey, you know what? Sean, what? My guitar playing is actually quite decent. Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that, buddy. Okay, Sean, you think you're so better at guitar than you play it? Well, I, um… See, well, come on, Sean. buddy. Okay Sean you think you're so better at guitar than you play it? Well I um you see yeah well come on Sean you want to sit there and talk shit and say that my guitar playing sucks and you're such a great guitarist let's you pull up the guitar then. Well that's the thing of it Josh you know I um well well come on Sean what's the deal here? I can't play an instrument. I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. What would you say, Sean? I couldn't play an instrument. I still can't hear you, Sean. I can't play a fucking musical instrument. There are you happy? I said it. I'm jealous. jealous of you? Why are you jealous of me Sean? Well face it, you got bigger arms than I do. You got a bigger dick than I do. You can actually play guitar and sing and cook and I can't do any of that shit. I'm hopeless. But not nearly as hopeless as you. Ha ha ha! What? You didn't know how to respond to that, do you? No, I just had to compliment you. You hadn't been complimented myself. You have no fucking idea! How'd I respond to that? Do you? Ah. I'm sorry, I'll quit smoking, Josh. You know what, Sean? I'll quit when I'm dead. But that cough, okay, I have a stuffed up nose. Uh-huh, sure. No, I'm serious. My nose has been stuffed up since yesterday. And it's starting to get a little better. Well, that's good. So, what? am I done here? and it's starting to get a little better. Well, that's good, that's good. So, what? Am I done here? Can I go back on the shelf? Well, do you feel like you're done, Sean? Well, hmm. Ha ha! Fuck you YouTube later! Wow! and Sean and Sean and another episode of Sean and Saunders. Even on much rather they leave their relationship bullshit off camera. For some odd reason I think a lot of you out there are wanting to see that so if you like the Sean and Saunders skits hit that video with a thumbs up. Yeah. Anyways, this is King Cobra JFS with another video. Thank y'all for watching. And I'll catch all the flip side.