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beliefs:magic

Josh and Magic

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“You're not even the real Ozzy, dude!”
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2024/06/08 00:52 · kiwi
“…magic is real…”

Josh believes himself to be of great magical ability, akin to that of a dark magician or a warlock. Of course, while magic's existence outside of Casper, Wyoming is much debated, Josh has consistently reaffirmed that he is capable of dank acts of magic.

Origin and history

Ever since before the recorded days of the green-walled Basement Age, Josh has claimed that he has some form of spiritual connection. As early as the end of The Gothickingcobra52 Saga, Josh would upload videos of himself creating Chi Balls between his hands - a parlor trick that would continue to be in his playbook for years to come.

Josh would continue to expand his magical repertoire over the years, as he would continue add more spells to his arsenal and show off his ever-gaining magical prowess.

Josh and various branches of magic

While Josh claims to specialize as a weather magician whose weather specialty is conjuring storms, Josh claims to be capable of numerous branches of magic.

Communicating with the dead

Josh attempting to commune with the spirits

By means of using Ouija boards, EVPing, and meditation, Josh claims to capable of “communing with the spirits” and speaking with various dead people. Most notably, Josh claims that his first apartment was haunted by its previous occupant(His only true evidence being that his toilet seat fell down when nobody touched it), and would sometimes commune with said spirit - A gentleman by the name of Winston.

Chi Balls

only known instance of Josh conjuring a Chi Ball, circa gothickingcobra52 saga

Perhaps the most long-lasting and prolific of Josh's skills have to do with the conjuration of what he calls “Chi Balls” - projections of pure energy similar to seen on popular TV series Dragon Ball Z. They do not really seem capable of doing anything. Josh can conjure these at will and on stream, although his cameras are always just too trash to actually pick them up.

Wands

As a master wand craftsman, Josh is capable of creating magical conduits by means of combining random sticks, copper wire, leather strips, some of his own hair, and various kinds of spraypaint. Josh does not attempt to make the claim that his wands come pre-loaded with magic, but does say with absolute certainty that as the wandmaker, he is immune to any attacks from them.

In some cases, Josh will also use crystals and preserved insects to further fine-tune the magical output of the user - His own personal wand has a green gemstone on the base of the handle, and his ceremonial crystal staff has a quartz chunk affixed to the end to further strengthen his already potent magic to an unknown degree.

Alphabetic list of recorded spells

KingCobraJFS is a dark magician capable of many forms of advanced conjuration, alteration, and of course, destruction. This article seeks to document his many powers and curses.

Calamitous Divination

  • Magic type: Curse?
  • Effectiveness: Strong
  • Accuracy: Very Accurate
  • Duration: Until the event comes to pass

Description: Josh is naturally capable of predicting future events, such as the time he predicted his dad's automobile accident. These powers are fickle and used sparingly.

Change Color

  • Magic type: Alteration
  • Effectiveness: Very Strong
  • Accuracy: Very Accurate
  • Duration: Several Hours
  • First seen: The Ellen Saga

Description: Purely a parlor trick, Cobra can be seen changing his skin tone to a bizarre pink-purple after attempting the Budweiser Challenge with his pal Darfliny. As it does not seem to have any additional side effects, although it came in close conjecture with him passing out for an extended period of time.

Chi Ball

  • Magic type: Mystic
  • Effectiveness: Unknown
  • Accuracy: Unknown
  • Duration: Small periods of time

Description: The earliest form of Cobra Magic, first seen on July 19, 2011 in the video “Chi ball”. While they have never been caught on camera, Josh claims to make chi balls at will in the palm of his hands, and at the tip of his many wands.

Circle of Protection

  • Magic type: Alteration
  • Effectiveness: Varied
  • Accuracy: Very Accurate
  • Duration: Varied
  • First seen: unknown

Description: A common spell used live on stream, Josh will cast this spell on supporters in need by request. The recipient will be less likely to be affected by physical, mental, spiritual, financial, or other forms of harm. For some reason, the effectiveness is extremely varied depending on the person receiving the spell. It is rumored that an advanced version of this may prevent many alcohol-based poisons, even nullifying Botulism altogether.

Conjure Thunderstorm

  • Magic type: Alteration
  • Effectiveness: Very Strong
  • Accuracy: Very Accurate
  • Duration: Unknown
  • First seen: The Stephanie Saga

Description: Josh conjures up a thunderstorm. Josh claims that this is specialty.

Curse of Clumsiness

  • Magic type: Curse
  • Effectiveness: Very Strong
  • Accuracy: Very Accurate
  • Duration: Indefinite
  • First seen: Unknown

Description: Little is known of this curse, but many speculate that in his early years of wizardry, Josh accidentally cursed himself with eternal clumsiness and the near-constant spilling of drink combinations while attempting to summon a hot, of-age biologically female goth chick. The curse may be eternal, or only broken by the death of the cursed individual.

Dream Walk

  • Magic type: Dark
  • Effectiveness: Very Strong
  • Accuracy: Very Accurate
  • Duration: The duration of one's sleep
  • First seen: The Job Corps Saga

Description: Used during his time at Job Corps, Josh would astral-project himself into the subconscious of another person and give them horrible nightmares.

Dry Spell

  • Magic type: Alteration/Curse
  • Effectiveness: Unparalleled
  • Accuracy: Unknown
  • Duration: Nigh unbreakable, requiring the skills of a master magician to cure
  • First seen: The Wandmaker Saga

Description: A spell to scorn all the sad pathetic troles who constantly pester Josh, the spell was an attempt to prove that King Cobra really rules his sad pathetic trolls' lives by preventing them from ever getting laid. However, the spell backfired, causing the extended dry spell to befall Josh instead.

Electrokinesis

  • Magic type: Elemental
  • Effectiveness: Varied
  • Accuracy: Fairly Accurate
  • Duration:Instant
  • First seen: Unknown

Description: Josh can manipulate the electrical fields around various electric devices to his will, causing machines to malfunction, react, or otherwise operate in a way he deems it to be.

Extinguish Fire

  • Magic type: Alteration
  • Effectiveness: Very Strong
  • Accuracy: Very Accurate
  • Duration: Instant

Desctiption: A spoken incantation used for protection against fire-based threats. Only seen once during the infamous “French Frys” Incident, it appears that a trained magician need only shout the word “Stop!” in a annoyed tone of voice to extinguish any form of fire near-instantaneously.

Illuminate

  • Magic type: Alteration
  • Effectiveness: Questionable
  • Accuracy: Middling
  • Duration: Instant use
  • First seen: The Ellen Saga

Description: With a swish and flick of his wand, King Cobra causes a street light to light up. Pay no attention to the fact that the time of day is sunset, when street lights turn on.

Instant Transmission

  • Magic type: Alteration
  • Effectiveness: Varied
  • Accuracy: Varied
  • Duration: Instant

Description: At times when he goes live, Josh will suddenly vanish or seemingly appear out of thin air. It is uncertain at this time if this is some form of super-speed spell or actual teleportation. Much more research is required to be certain. It's not the stream lagging. Shut up. Fuck you.

Open Box

  • Magic type: Alteration
  • Effectiveness: Very Strong
  • Accuracy: Very Accurate
  • Duration: Instant use

Description: After numerous Glitter Bombs, Josh engineered a spell that would open sent mail for him automatically by applying his wand to the intended opening. Clearly, its uses are endless in the Cobra household.

Summon Living Of-Age Biologically Female Goth Chick

  • Magic type: Conjuration
  • Effectiveness: Limited
  • Accuracy: Limited
  • Duration: Unknown
  • First seen: Unknown

Description: A secret and satanic ritual of unknown portent, it remains the most difficult spell Josh has ever attempted to cast. The steps to the ritual are esoteric and complicated, and likely involve copious amounts of Tactical Soap. Be wary when attempting this ritual, as the ritual if done improperly can summon unknown horrors instead...

Thought Loop

  • Magic type: Curse
  • Effectiveness: Very Strong
  • Accuracy: Very Inaccurate
  • Duration: Several hours at a time

Description: This spell causes the target to be trapped in a miniature groundhog-day-like stasis, unaware of the passage of time. Victims will often be seen or heard saying the same sentence or sentences with limited to no change in sentence structure, seemingly for hours at a time. Unfortunately it seems that while the spell's efficacy is unmatched, the accuracy leaves something to be desired - There are few recorded instances of Josh casting this spell and not accidentally hitting himself, demonstrated most notably during the Double Down incident and more notably, the Papa John's Stuffed Crust Pizza Incident.

Josh and his beliefs

Josh on…GenderSickosGunsReligionPolitical AlignmentSexualityDrugs and Alcohol
Josh's eccentricitiesFameTattoosPhysical healthMental healthMagicCookingWand BusinessMusical Career
2024/06/08 00:52 · kiwi
beliefs/magic.txt · Last modified: 2025/03/21 21:58 by stuffedcrustfrompapajohnswithextracheeseextrabacononionsjalapenosandanchoviesdoodt

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