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The Stephanie Saga
Introduction
The Stephanie Saga is the span of Boglim History spanning from February 28, 2013 to winter of 2014. This saga is named for the impact Stephanie, Josh's first girlfriend, would have on him during and after the events of this period in time. It is preceeded by The Couch Chris Saga and followed by The Low Volume Saga.
Characters Overview
- Josh Saunders: After successfully evicting Chris from his apartment, Josh now has the opportunity to make a welcoming home for his now-girlfriend Stephanie. His hairline will show signs of deterioration quickly during this saga, possibly from the rock'n'roll lifestyle Josh is desperate to embody.
- Stephanie: The lynchpin of this entire saga, her actions during this saga would mould cobra's views on gendur relayshuns for years to come.
Set Up
The nightmare is slain, and Chris is finally gone for good. Stephanie is soon to be finished with Job Corps, and things are once again looking on the up and up. How can Josh possibly fail this time?
Key Events
Absence makes the heart...
With the departure of Couch Chris, Josh had an empty hole in his heart. With Stephanie far away still and Chris a distant memory, Josh invited another new person into his home - His Wendy's coworker named Kent. Kent would show up in exactly one video, titled “I miss Stephanie”, remaining ominously silent and unmoving for the duration. However, when Josh said that he was keeping a copy of his sex tape with Stephanie on his iPod to watch, he would emerge from his catatonic state to try to sneak a peak over Josh's shoulder. In this same video, Josh would announce that he was in the process of saving for a car and his driver's license as a short-term goal. Josh would continue to lament Stephanie's absence for the remainder of the video.
Much like a ghost sighting, Kent would never be seen again, leading to speculation that Josh had a change of heart, remembering the pain of evicting Chris from his apartment.
The Hair Dye Video
On March 3, 2013, Josh would release “Payday”, more famously known as “The Hair Dye Video”, encapsulating early age Cobra content and effectively explaining Josh as a person in a nutshell.
Getting his check cashed early, Josh would go out to by his usual hoard of booze, tobacco and similar vices before bringing out his pièce de résistance: Black hair dye. Before starting(but not before taking his shirt off) Josh would receive a call from his manager. In a stark bit of foreshadowing, Josh had misread the days, and was supposed to be at work at 11:30, not at 5:00 as he had explained earlier. Josh would continue to dye his hair unimpeded after this phone call, spending the remainder of the video doing various stupid shit with his hair dye including a joker grin and partial blackface. For whatever reason, the dye would come out blue on his skin, making Josh look like a particularly bloated alien from James Cameron's Avatar. He would continue his appropriately clown-like antics further and talking to himself before ending the video in his usual fashion.
An emotional toll
Josh would spend much time working on his next album, Rebirth of my mind(,) decent(sic) into darkness, and would proceed to make videos roughly three times a day. These would often be similarly titled “Morning video”, “Afternoon video”, and so on and so forth. During one occasion after downing some peach schnapps, Josh would upload a video where he talked about getting catfished via facebook, and would hold the blunt blade from one of his Cobra Canes to his chest, suicide baiting. Josh would show visible signs of balding and getting fatter at this stage. He would end his video by tearfully singing along to Green Day's Boulevard of Broken Dreams and headbanging.
A few days later, Josh would announce that he and Stephanie had reconciled and were back together. This came at a cost, however: The very same day, Josh's spiked dog collar would finally break from years of erosion.
In May, disaster would strike once again when Clint discovered Josh had managed to spend $770 over the course of two months, under the impression that this was money from his savings account. This would turn out to be his SSDI payments instead. Josh claimed he was unaware he was still on it.
The fifth album, with Stephanie cameos
Several uneventful months would pass before Stephanie would return to celebrate July 4th with Josh, making him ecstatic. Stephanie would show up in the background of a video in July 5th, where Josh would talk about the two of them going to see horror film “The Purge”. Josh would also badly serenade Stephanie with mid-2000s internet classic, “Hey There Delilah”, out of key. Stephanie would return once more to Job Corps, and Josh would spend the rest of July playing guitar in his videos and finishing his fifth album, releasing it on October 7th, 2013 for $9 on TuneCore.
Following the release of this album, many of Josh's videos would feature his theoretical musical talent, Stephanie's visit clearly invigorating him. Josh would re-paint his BC Ridgewick with spraypaint during this point. His creative juices flowing over, Josh would attempt to create a horrific new proto-food-hack by the name of Ice Cream Bread. Attempting to circumvent the traditional bread recipe, Josh would make a loaf of bread with twinkies and Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream in the middle. Josh would also attempt to spraypaint his Cobragam symbol onto a piece of cloth above his bed, to disastrous results - the cloth being too thin to prevent the spraypaint from going through. Josh would cover this with his cobra poster in an attempt to hide it.
In November, Stephanie would once again return for Thanksgiving, bringing out Josh's more positive side. He would go on to make several more videos before Stephanie's return in one of which he regales viewers with a story where he cleared a clogged urinal. Manually. He would unsurprisingly get in trouble for this. Josh would also claim that one of his songs off his fifth album, “Dark Hallow”, was played on the radio twice. This has never been proven.
Before Stephanie left once more for Job Corps, Josh would make an extremely sexually charged video with her after they got a little tipsy. Josh would refer to their pairing as “true love” during this video.
A Calamitous Divination comes true
Out of the blue in December of 2013, disaster would strike: Clint's car would be almost entirely destroyed by a semi truck trailer attempting an illegal u-turn at night on the highway. Clint would attempt to swerve and have a corner-to-corner T-bone collision with another vehicle in the process. This would harken back to a curse made nearly three years prior as a throwaway during an argument between Clint and Josh. Coming close to death, Clint would win thousands of dollars in settlement due to the incident. Heartlessly, Josh would make a video blaming Clint for the car crash, because if his dad was home more of the time, it would not have happened. Letting go of years of angst, Josh would say “If the car crash killed him…? Honestly, I don't know what I'd think. […] But if he did die, welp, he's always away on trips working, so it wouldn't make much of a difference to me.”
Josh would spend Christmas in the hospital with his father and family, and make more videos bemoaning Clint's condition.
A new year
In 2014, Stephanie would move in entirely with Josh, sporadically appearing in the background of videos or in the kitchen.
Significance
The KingCobraJFS Story
The Basement Age | • The Gothickingcobra52 Saga • The Job Corps Saga |
---|---|
The South Center Age | • The Couch Chris Saga • The Stephanie Saga • The Low Volume Saga • The Bailey and Izzy Saga • The Post-Wendy's Saga • The Rebirth Saga • The Summer Saga • The Wandmaker Saga • The Rage Saga • The Ellen Saga • The Eviction Saga |
The Conquistador Age | • The New Apartment saga • The Green Saga • The Puff Saga • The Second Eviction Saga |
Current Age: The Trailer Age | The Trailer Saga • Current saga: The Wasted Saga |