Original Video: I got a chair

What is up YouTube? So if you see for yourself that I got a replacement chair. It's got studs in the arms and both arms have a hole on them on other side right here. And the right arm is a little wobbly. There we go, I just pushed it back into place. There we go, fixed that issue. Well, the right arm was wobbly, but I popped it back into place. There we go. But yeah, it's not as comfortable as my old chair, but it'll do. Getting at home was kind of a bitch, but… Yeah. And this is definitely a lot better than sitting on my acoustic guitar case. Now tomorrow I want to get me some guitar strings because um… Because, um… Because yeah, I want to want the high E string of my BC Rich snapped and I don't think I have a replacement string for it. And that's the thing about guitar strings. You buy a case of guitar strings to replace the one string you don't have. And you end up with a shit ton of extra strings for the other ones. Yeah. Which is convening as fuck if they snap on you, but… Uh…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… His first 100 days in office and Donald Trump is already the most unpopular president that we've had. Now if I was president of the United States, the first thing I would have done was fix the drinking water in our country. There was no excuse for our children to be drinking lead poison in water. Fuck that noise. Second thing I would have done. I would have been like, okay, marijuana, legal, hemp, legal, LSD, Paeote, acid, DMT, Shromes, spice, cocaine, its natural forms. All of it, all the soft core shit, legal. I would keep meth, crocodile, crack, and heroin illegal, and I would legalize everything else for recreational use. And the money that would… I would tax the fuck out of it too, and I would make it all just… as a class like cigarettes, basically. Because there are some spice you can get that's made from natural ingredients that doesn't fucking kill yours harmful to you but you know what I'm saying and uh… you know it's kind of unfair to classify all spice in that in that same category you know what I'm saying? When there's some spice that it'll get you high as fuck but it won't fuck with you or anything you know what I'm saying then there's some spice that will you know I'm saying Instead of making those, you know what I'm saying, and the money I would make off of taxing all those drugs and making them legal, I would put that towards free lunches for every student going to school, kindergarten through college. school, kindergarten through college. Okay, college students have a lot of expenses on their hands. And if I made every soft core drug, if I was president, I would make every soft core drug legal, including hallucinogenics, and cocaine is natural form legal. I'd make it all those things legal to sell, manufacture, and produce, and do for recreational use. And yeah, why the fuck not? And the money I would make off of taxing the fuck out of all those soft core drugs and selling them, I could put that towards giving students a free lunch, you know? Let me ask you some… were a college student and someone told you, hey, how would you like to have free lunch for the entire semester that you're there? and I'd make it so you'd have the only thing you'd have to pay for is like if you wanted a second lunch You pay extra for that, you know, I'm saying if you wanted to like extra stuff on your lunch You know what I'm saying and not only would I if I was president if I was president of the United States of America And I made all those drugs that I said I would make legal if I was president not only would school lunches be free but they'd be nutritious, delicious, and filling. You cannot expect students to focus on their next class if they haven't had a proper lunch. You know? Uh-huh. I did a couple videos ago you know the fact that students are getting stamped on the arm with I need lunch money Smiley face or the fact that they're being forced to wipe down tables and wash trays after lunch just to pay for their lunch because they're behind on their student lunch fees or the worst case scenario is the lunch people the lunch people would throw away their food right in front of them and it's like that's a fucking waste of food dude there are children in Africa who are fucking starving and you're gonna fucking throw away some kids lunch in front of them because they can't afford to pay for it. That's kind of fucked you all I'm just saying. Like literally if I was president of the United States of America the first thing I would do is fix the drinking water. We're not in the 17-fucking hundreds where our founding fathers were establishing this country. If we were I'd be like okay we haven't discovered if this were the 1700s I'd be like okay we haven't discovered how to chemically treat water properly yet but you know and in most cases because the drinking water and the 1700s was undrinkable our founding fathers were drinking alcohol as a alcohol as a replacement because they couldn't in the 1700s was undrinkable, our founding fathers were drinking alcohol as a replacement because they couldn't drink the water. Yeah. And if I did make all those soft-core drugs legal, I would also, instead of punishing people for doing them because now that they would be legal, if these soft core drugs became a problem for people, I would also offer free treatments with the money I would be making off of those drugs. You know what I'm saying? There are some people when they do drugs, it doesn't affect their life. If anything, it makes them smarter. and there are some people when they do drugs, it doesn't affect their life. If anything, it makes them smarter. And there are some people when they do drugs, it just ruins their life. And that's not fair to blame the drugs when, you know, fucking certain people have addictive personalities and certain people act differently when they're on them. You know… case in point, if you want to call marijuana a drug, marijuana will make some people lazy, retarded pieces of shit, you know. There are some people when they smoke pot, they turn into lazy, retarded pieces of shit. And then there are some people when they smoke weed, they get high, they enjoy it, and they become creative. You know. But fucking, is it fair to associate all stoners as lazy when only a couple people who smoke it become lazy? No, it's not. That's no different than saying, well, every person who drinks alcohol is going to become violent. That's that's a fucking cliche YouTube Some people when they drink become sloppy as Fuck and some people in the drink become overly emotional and then when I drink I turn into a fucking smart ass dude and You know when you have Asperger syndrome you tend to be blunt as fuck it's just something I do you know anybody who has Asperger's is just blunt straightforward to the point you know know what I'm saying and quite often I will catch myself thinking inside my head okay what I have what I want to say is funny as fuck but is this the surrounding to say it and is this the surrounding that might make me have to kick some ass because people get offended and get in my face and shit because I don't take shit from nobody YouTube but the only shit I take is in the god damn toilet. Okay? And then if you get my fucking face, we're gonna have a fucking problem here. And if you think I'm afraid to fucking kick some ass and knock them all the fucker out. Whoa shit, my bad. If I can try to pull my knife out and just through it across the room. If you think I'm afraid to pull this out on somebody, you think again, motherfucker. Think again. I've been picked on and bullied my entire fucking life and I've had enough of it. You know what I'm saying? Like, you think I'm not afraid to fucking kick somewhat fucking ass? Think again, and… Huge fucking arms like this It's not difficult to kick ass and take names But the thing if it is YouTube is I don't go looking for a fight if a fight comes my way I'm not gonna fucking back down like some pussy ass bitch. I want to fight my way out of that god damn corner Well, fucking get my ass keeps trying one of the fuckers are smart enough not to pick a fight with me because big muscles and ass kicking in a big ass knife aside. Okay. I have dark powers.. Really. You you want to fuck with somebody who has dark powers? You know what I'm saying? Fucking with somebody who has dark powers, that's stupid. That's beyond fucking stupid. And my magical influence on the world is great. YouTube. Oh, trust and belief, trust and mother fucking believe. My connection with the spirits and the universe and my magical ability are very strong YouTube. When someone comes up to me and says, would you like to hear about Jesus Christ today? I very politely say no thank you, I practice black magic. The universe is my mentor and my guide. The Cosmos is my dictionary to the power of thoughts and creation. And that usually goes over most motherfucker's head. I say shit like that most motherfucker's are like like huh what? But then if people continue to persist, and here's the thing of it. Whenever I get approached by a Jesus freak and they're trying to shove their belief system in my face, it didn't always the piss enemy, but I'm still polite about it the first time. You know, the first time I'm very polite. I'm like, no, thank you. That's not why I believe him, but that's how you do, you know, cool, whatever, you know. But then if they continue to persist with it, that's when I become a religious dickhead. You know, if they continue to persist with me on this bullshit, I'm going to be like, oh, okay, you try to talk to me about Sky God, right? God loves all his children because we're created in his eye. Uh-huh, okay. You see, here's what I'm going to call bullshit on that. Because if God truly loved all his children, then why the fuck are there starving children around the world? Why the fuck are there people dying of disease, poverty, hunger, and famine, thirst? And, you know what I'm saying? If God loves all his children, then why the fuck is bullying such a problem in our society in schools, outside of school, and online? You know what I'm saying? Like, come on out. And when you actually read the Bible, Satan only killed like 10 people in the Bible, and God killed a shit ton more. Hey shit, ton more! You know? And, uh… You know, the difference is between a picture of Jesus and the actual Jesus. It only takes one nail to hang up a picture of Jesus. Did you know that Jesus Christ had the best hands for masturbation, his holiness? Is that what they meant? Is that's what they meant by his second coming? And it's like, and it's like if Christians get offended by that jokes, it's like, what would Jesus do? He turned the other cheek, wouldn't he? Oh. Okay, those jokes weren't savage enough for you. Okay, I got a joke for you that I just thought of a couple minutes ago. It's, yeah. It's a dark play on words, but yeah, there you go. Now, most people know that when you get the common cold, you get a cough. You're coughing like crazy, and you got mucus built up and you know. So after I explain that this will make the joke a little bit funnier but some of you might have to Google it to get it because you know, do you know what happened when the common cold got pregnant? Well when the common cold got pregnant well when the common cold got pregnant the common, when the common cold got pregnant, the common cold gave birth to a coffin baby. That's that's pretty dark. That's why it's fucking funny. Do it yourself abortion kid comes with a hangar and alcohol. Oh. If a Jewish person gets stoned can we say they're baked? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. in the Middle East. He says profits are going through the roof. So Jesus gets real drunk off his own wine, right? And he sees the Hindu god is in a bar and he says, hey, you want to go back to my place and Hindu it? Oh, God damn it. I know I'm going to hell for those jokes and I don't care. I fucking go to the hell of scenes and be like, what up brother? I'm like, what up man? How's it going? It's going good man. You want to help me rule this place? fuck yeah…………. Sure, why not? And my daughter, sure, why not? After I get down, how was that? I was not that bad, man. That's what's up. Well here, here's a fat fucking blunt. Go torture these souls. Fucking A. You know. I get down to hell and Satan's gonna be like, okay, Mr. Mr. Saunders, you're in charge of torturing pedophifile souls. You're being pedophile souls. All right, I'm cool with that. That's not fucking cool with that. Yeah. What gets me though is when motherfuckers be like, this is how God takes public other than… It's like, okay, you don't know what God thinks because you're not God, so how the fuck are you going to make those claims? You know? God's against abortion, how the fuck do you know? If God created everything, he also created abortion, did he not? Why the fuck would he be against something he's…he created? And here's the………… Christians and Catholics are against sinning. Yeah, a lot of them will believe that Jesus Christ died for your sins. So if you don't sin, then Jesus died for nothing. There you go. Think about that for a second. Think about that for a second. Think about that for a second. Now when you practice black magic you have to… You don't have to, but I choose to study different… Well I practice… Because I practice my own branch of black magic… Excuse me… Because I practice my own branch of black magic and because I have my own religion, you know, you literally have to study other religious aspects to gain a better understanding of someone else's belief. So if you're on a bar or anywhere, having an intellectual discussion about religious beliefs, it helps to know, it literally helps to know how the other person practices their shit, so when they try to be like, your shit stupid blah blah blah blah, you know, you can call an honor their shit. Christians say they're against magic because it's the devil's work. Christians who say they're against magic because it's the devil's work. Yet they believe in Jesus Christ rising from the dead which sounds like necromancy. You're against magic but you believe it's him talking dead guy who could turn water into wine, which turning water into wine sounds like magic to me. It's not difficult to turn water into wine, but you need sugar, yeast, and you need fruit. And you're left that shit for a minute for like a minimum of four weeks. Which that's something I've thought about doing. I thought about making my own wine, YouTube. If I made my own wine, that could save me some money at the liquor store and at the bar. If I were to make a wine, I would choose four fruits to start off with. Cherry's, peaches, bananas, and mangoes. All four of those sides of bitches and one wine. And the longer you let it age, the stronger it gets. And you gotta burp it and shit like that. If I had my dream house and I was living in it's, Oh yeah, I'd make my own homemade wine. I'd have a fucking seller of that shit stored up. And uh, I guarantee you'd be the best tasting fucking wine you ever tasted. One fucking glass would get you drunker than snot. Literally you mix hot water if you have a like a little mason jar and you fill one-third of it up with sugar and hot water like you pour in the sugar. like you pour in the sugar you drop the fruits in there you pour in the sugar. you put the fruits in there you pour the fruits in there you pour the hot water in the hot water, like you pour in the sugar, you drop the fruits in there, and then you pour the hot water in the yeast, and you stir it up a little bit, and you put the lid on there, but not too tight, because you don't want that sugar to like pressurize and explode, make a mess everywhere. And you got that shit for men and then you strain it through all that juice into another mason jar through a filter and you clean out the mason jar that you used in the first step so you can reuse it you know I'm saying like you don't have to make it in like a large-ass scale you know what I'm saying you can make it like a tiny ass mason jar about that big, you know? And, uh… And, uh… Literally… I'd make barrels of that shit in my dream house. And I'd be going down there every day on I can and burping it, you know. Yeah. But, um, well making homemade wine is like, waiting for the right girl. It takes patience and dedication and the right, the right actions. You know, and once you have that right girl, you know, you know, and once you've made that one, and dedication and the right actions. You know, once you have that right girl, you know, and once you've made that wine, it's like the aging process is like letting their relationship build and mature. And by the time you're said and done, you can have something beautiful at your hands if you're patient enough you know try going downhill in this chair bringing it back to my apartment and it didn't work it was kind of didn't work out I thought I was going to I was going to I was going to I was't work out. I thought I was going to This arm was wiggly, but then you heard we just pop it back in the place that works out beautifully. I mean, it's got a couple holes like you see one right there and right here but other than that You know it's just fine, you know Should the last year I had had holes in it, but fucking it was leaking stuffing everywhere and I couldn't have that you know Oh damn. My tobacco went out. My buddy Toford, I was on his show keeper cast a couple days ago, he donated $10 to my pay-pay account. Thank you for that man. I really appreciate that. That'll come in handy this weekend. This is literally as low as it goes. If I were to stand up and pop the liver. It does get a little bit higher, but not that much. And I should have been sitting on the guitar case to begin with. That's just, that's bad for the, for warping it and shit. Sitting on that guitar case for a seat for my computer too, that's also bad for my back. You know what I'm saying? Like, if… bad for my back. You know what I'm saying like if But anyways, this is King Cobra JFS with another video, got me a chair and Thank you all later.