The French "Frys" Incident

The French Frys Incident is an infamous event in Boglim History and is documented in the video "Making homemade french frys" - Hence the name - on June 5th, 2016. It takes place midway through the South Center Age near the beginning of The Bailey and Izzy Saga. This event in particular is infamous due to Josh starting a grease fire and nearly burning down his apartment on video, demonstrating his spellcasting abilities by extinguishing a fire by yelling at it. This is also a demonstration of Josh's less than stellar culinary skills, and part of the reason his fans get nervous about him using a gas burning stove.

0:00 - 1:00: Video start. Josh starts by showing off his dining room table, complete with wand, ouija board, drinking horn, et al. Josh says he's going to show 'toobz how to make french frys.

1:00 - 3:00: Josh displays his ingredients: A pot of standard fry oil, and some potatoes. Josh turns the burner to high, and as the pot heats up, he collects 4-5 russets from a large bag of potatoes. He does not wash nor peel them. He goes on to explain his method of cooking: Dropping them directly into boiling oil.

3:15: Josh shows us his ouija board again.

4:05 - 5:00: Josh responds to comments saying that he was covering up his phone's microphone. Josh doubles down by saying it was “Kinda loud outside” in the last video.

5:00 - 9:20: Josh sets the camera down and starts removing brown spots from his potatoes. His knife gets concerningly close to his fingers. He then cuts the potato in half and continues slicing the slices with a blade directly towards his holding hand on numerous occasions.

9:25 - 12:00: Josh gives us an update on Homeboy Scotty trying to set him up with the totally real, not-fake goth bass player with Asperger's. He laments that many women in Casper are “stuck-up” and don't want to date a high-functioning autist who can barely hold a job at Wendy's. He continues to rag on the stuck-up women of Casper, Wyoming. He states “half of the men out there can't…fully sexually satisfy their woman. They don't know how”.

12:00 - 13:30: Josh continues to talk gendur relayshuns.

13:30 - 14:30: Josh talks about his bodyweight workout : 6 sets of 10 push ups, the cobra position, and 10 sit-ups. Very swole josh. We're all proud of you.

14:30 - 19:40: Josh continues to chop potatoes and babble about random shit, mostly about women.

15:30: Josh nearly cuts himself. We get our first “God damn it” of the video.

20:20 - 20:50: The potatoes are fully chopped and we get our second “God damn it”. Josh transports the bowl of chopped taters to the stove. He proceeds to show us the pot of bubbling oil, which has inexplicably turned black and has the consistency of crude oil.

20:50 - 21:20: Josh starts by dropping individual slices into the pot, saying he doesn't want the grease to go flying. The sound implies that they instantly evaporated from the sheer heat. After dropping a few in, he says “Eh, fuck it” and drops the entire plateful in. Not all the taters make it in, thankfully.

21:20 - 22:00: The grease spills and starts to cause a fire. Josh attempts to blow the flames out as smoke begins to fill the room. We get another “God damn it” as he continues to fight the fire. His options exhausted, he resorts to casting his Magic Spell “Extinguish Fire”, which summarily finishes the job. The camera pans slightly to the side and we see three raw potato slices that escaped a fiery grave. Josh curses and says he needs salt after a close brush with one of the worst ways to die possible.

22:00 - 24:00: Josh continues to curse and adds the remaining fries to the boiling mess. The camera pans up and we can see that smoke has enveloped the room entirely, and he brings the heat back up.

24:00 - 24:30: Josh attempts to open a window to let some of the smoke escape, and struggles to find the cord that would pull the blinds. He abandons this effort entirely.

24:30 - 26:10: Josh stirs the fries. He admits the grease fire was a close call. He says the phrase “mmmm, homemade french fries” numerous times.

26:20 - 33:50: Josh regales us with another mini-rant about women interspersed with him stirring the fries around.

33:50 - 36:35: Josh briefly covers his fries, brings out a bigger bowl and denotes his broken Fry Daddy. He says it doesn't work any more. He returns to the stove and uncovers his fries, stirring for an additional few minutes.

36:35 - 37:00: Josh turns the camera towards his face and asks “Don't these look tasty?” to the viewers. He seems slow to accept it himself, pondering the question for a long 8 seconds.

39:00 - 41:20: After much deliberation, Josh finally declares the fries done. He plates them up, opting not to wipe the excess grease off. He has another mini-rant about guys pretending to act tough. He almost forgets to turn the heat off but does not remove the burnt oil from the burner, and stands back to address the carnage of his stove.

41:40 - 42:30: Attempting to sample his cooking, Josh makes the discovery that potatoes recently pulled from a pot of bubbling oil are going to be hot. He takes the knife he used to cut up the potatoes and puts it back in the cupboard. He also takes a moment to remove the pot of used fry oil from the burner to assist with it cooling down, and to inspect the carnage once more.

42:40 - 44:10: Josh eats some frys. He says they came out “Pretty good”, with a light crisp to them. He leaves to salt the fries, using his large tin of Morton Salt, which he pronounces as “Morrison Salt”.

44:10 - 49:11 Josh measures out some salt into his filthy hands and adds it to the larger bowl of fries. He has a few more fries, saying that “home made french fries aren't too difficult to make”, disregarding that he nearly burned his apartment down. Josh ends the video off by eating more fries, touring the apartment, and saying that he'll catch us cool cobras later from his floral throne as he smokes his pipe.

As a result of this video, numerous fans have expressed concern at the near-death situation Josh put himself in. To this day, the combination of Josh, gas stoves, and grease are one that raises immediate concern amongst fans and troles alike, as Josh is certainly not intelligent enough to suppress a fire.