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incidents:b.c_rich_guitar_smashing_incident

The BC Rich Guitar Smashing Incident

The BC Rich Guitar Smashing Incident is an infamous event in Cobraverse history due to Josh's sudden tardrage and destruction of a guitar he had put in serious work to get, the BC Rich. This would showcase the impressive organic comedy of Josh while also maintaining one of the saddest moments in his history, where the weight of being The King bore heavy upon his brow.

BC Rich Guitar Smash, AKA “Soda review”
“The day the music died”
Event style: Uploaded video
Location: 615 south center street
Important characters: KingCobraJFS
Summary: Josh gets really mad and smashes his guitar
Event Genre: Tragedy
Results: Destruction of a prized possession, downstairs neighbors humbled
Saga: The Post-Wendy's Saga

Timeline of events

The original video has been reuploaded to YouTube, and can be viewed here.

  • Josh opens his video with a surprisingly modest “what is up, YouTube”. He would proudly show off his latest package from Vapour - 5 bottles of Sprite Tropical Remix.
  • Josh plans to do a review of Sprite Tropical, but first has a smoke to calm his nerves.
  • After much anticipation, Josh takes a sip of his past. He has yet to realize that the bottle is an original from before their discontinuation in 2005, and has expired.
  • Josh takes his first sip, and you can see his face contort in disgust as he realizes that it has gone bad.
  • He takes another sip to confirm his suspicions. His review of the Sprite? “No. No, nope, nope, nope, no. Just no.”
  • Josh begins the stages of grief, as he realizes his childhood drink is either expired, or always tasted this awful. We slip first into Denial as Josh continues to say “no” over and over. He states that he thinks the formula has been changed.
  • We begin to slip into Anger as Josh becomes visibly upset with the contents of his favorite childhood drink. He continues to say “no”.
  • Josh says “maybe I'm not being fair with it” and takes another sip, skipping Depression and going into Bargaining. He is quickly returned to Depression after having another swig.
  • We move on to Acceptance as Josh says “I'd lick the taste of my own butt crack if I could reach that far”, seemingly in response to the taste he experienced. Josh washes the taste down with a drink combo, Mountain dew and Cherry Pepsi.
  • Attempting to move on, Josh is angered when he discovers that someone has flagged one of his posts on Facebook.
  • Josh begins an anti-Facebook rant.
  • Josh continues his review of Sprite Tropical Remix. He has yet to realize the Sprite is expired.
  • Suddenly, Josh's mood sours and he asks aloud “I wonder how long it would take to starve myself, YouTube.” He incorrectly guesses five to six weeks.
  • Josh has a spergout, and walks away from the camera. He returns to the Floral Throne with a burger wrapped in foil, calling himself a “Porker” and other derogatory terms for fat people.
  • He claims he doesn't want to eat, but he has to for his YouTube Fans. It's worth mentioning that nobody is asking him to eat the food he has in his hands.
  • He identifies the the burger as roast beef, pepper jack cheese, jalapenos, pickles, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, vinagerette, sandwich oil, parmesan, salt and pepper, melted, with lettuce, mayo and ranch.
  • Josh continues to eat, moaning while he does so. He calims that he can feel the calories sticking to his thighs.
  • Josh continues to call himself a porker, saying that he hates eating, but he does it for his fans. He alleges that his fans would be sad if he killed himself.
  • The sperg rage continues to boil just under the surface. It's worth mentioning that even this early on in the boglim transformation, Josh does in fact eat his burgers like an apple.
  • Walking off camera to dispose of the trash, Josh's self-hatred continues to build. He continues to get mad at the fact that he performed a basic human function.
  • Josh leaves and returns with a bag of Doritoes, lambasting his poor dietary choices some more. The insults become more harmful in nature as Josh refers to himself as an “Ugly, retarded piece of shit”.
  • Out of nowhere, Josh suddenly feels the need to break something. His target is his BC Rich Electric Guitar.
  • Standing up, Josh brings the guitar into frame, talking about how he “busted his ass on” this guitar, working a paper route in high school to get.
  • Turning the camera to the main area of his apartment, Josh does the unthinkable, and starts smashing his guitar against the floor.
  • After breaking it, Josh makes a pile of the wreckage. Josh tearfully says that's the end of that guitar. He says he will not smash his acoustic guitar.
  • The rush of adrenaline has worn off. Josh is starting to feel regret for his actions, and is trying hard not to show it.
  • Bizarrely, he returns to drinking the Sprite Tropical Remix. He says “it's alright” and admits that he overexaggerated. He now claims it's not half bad.
  • Josh walks to the bathroom and attempts to make himself throw up, to no avail.
  • After cleaning up the splinters, Josh states that he's sure his neighbors will be happy that he won't be playing any more.
  • Josh uncovers a guitar pick he was missing, and begins to admit the Sprite wasn't horrible, but not good either. He goes off on a weird tangent, saying he doesn't want a sex doll any more, fuck sex, companionship, relationships, etc..
  • Josh tells his fans to save their money and not send him another guitar.
  • Ending the video, Josh has a moment of silence for a fallen guitar.

Aftermath

Fans and haters alike were distraught and brought to tears by the senseless destruction of the BC Rich Guitar, responsible for numerous albums of varying quality. Josh would go on to tell his fans not to send him money for another guitar, and Clint would ask about his guitar-smashing habits later on, only to get blocked on Facebook for his troubles. The guitar smash remains in Boglim History as an underrated and ultimately tragic event whose effects will be felt for generations to come.

incidents/b.c_rich_guitar_smashing_incident.txt · Last modified: 2024/07/14 05:24 by stuffedcrustfrompapajohnswithextracheeseextrabacononionsjalapenosandanchoviesdoodt

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