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The Post-Wendy's Saga

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“You're not even the real Ozzy, dude!”
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2024/06/08 00:52 · kiwi

The Post-Wendy's Saga is the part of Boglim History spanning between fall 2016 and February 2017, and is named such for the time directly after Josh's termination from his job at Wendy's.

Characters Overview

Major Characters

  • KingCobraJFS: Cobes has found a new low. No girl, no job, no money - Josh is at his wits' end.
  • Homeboy Scotty: Ever the persistent wing man, Scotty would continue to try setting up girls for Josh, and help him job hunt.

Minor Characters

  • Castellus Zemi: Castellus Zemi was the troll responsible for the summary firing of Josh via numerous complaint emails to Wendy's International. He is also fat, and short.
  • Alex Anderson: A fan favorite homeboy, Alex would make his first appearance this saga.
  • Darflinny: Darf would take Josh shooting during this saga, and would start to make appearances more often.
  • Tina: Homeboy Scotty's surprisingly masculine-looking girlfriend.

Set Up

Following the constant catfishing of Homeboy Scotty, Josh has had a formal complaint lodged at Wendy's Corporate about his videos by fat manlet Castellus Zemi, in an attempt to troll Josh. This would be disastrous for Josh, as there are few places willing to take a person as filthy as Josh on such short notice, and even less in Casper, WY.

Key Events

"People need to stop harassing me"

August 21st, 2016: Josh would release a video detailing his manager speaking to him about the allegations levied to corporate, which Josh would categorically deny. Castellus Zemi, under the impression that Josh handled food, and was not simply a lobby attendant(AKA a short-order janitor). This has remained a point of debate, but does not discount the fact that Castellus is short and fat. Despite his best efforts, Josh would be let go from Wendy's, and would announce this a short few days later in the video “I lost my job becauce(sic) of internet trolls”, three days later. This would be a major gut-punch for Josh, as he had been working at Wendy's for over five years at this point, even if he was only working a few hours a week.

Amnesty

The news of Josh's major loss was a shot heard around the Cobraverse. As a result, many cobros, cobra demons, cobra angels, and troles alike would unite in their morbid curiosity and appreciation of The Boy, sending him gifts and financially supporting him through this trying time. Castellus Zemi, the fat manlet, would be righteously savaged by the fangs of King Cobra's followers. His old workplace would be harassed, he would be doxxed, and regardless of his attempts to defend his actions, no amount of deleted videos would soothe the savage beasts. Despite the human/dwarf hybrid's attempt to blame Josh for his own firing, his cries would fall on deaf ears. Much of Zemi's videos are now lost to the aether, a stark reminder that a cobra's venom is more than just a small prick and a little bit of dribble.
Fans would create an online petition to get Josh reinstated at Wendy's, which did as well as any online petition does.

Rehabilitation

A few weeks later, Josh would speak with a job rehabilitation center, in an attempt to once again achieve gainful employment. With his NEET status returning to him, Josh would spend much of his free time chilling with Homeboy Scotty, as well as Darflinny B, Michael Baldwin, shooting some guns with the latter.
This would also be the advent of ExhumedVision's numerous KingCobraJFS merchandise runs, beginning with some themed mugs, and new T-shirts.

Meet Alex, and meat beat as well

Above: Josh violently destroys pussy on camera

New Homeboy Alex Anderson would make his debut in the background of one of Josh's innumerable Drink Reviews. While the meeting of Alex and Josh will remain a mystery lost to time, Alex would rapidly become a fan favorite.
After being sent a fleshlight in the mail by a supporter, Josh would once again question his attraction to women, and would consider giving up on sex and companionship, discussing it further in the aptly named video, “Im giveng up on sex and companionship”. He would further elaborate on his now year-long dry spell by admitting he doesn't even want a sex doll any more. Josh would go on to destroy the fleshlight on camera with a pair of scissors, seemingly close to tears as he cut it. Red in the face, Josh would say he appreciated the gesture, but had given up on sex. And companionship.

Josh would later admit to using the fleshlight before destroying it. He would attempt to fix it, after supposedly feeling remorse for his actions, as the fan who sent it had stuck up for him against The Haters.

The Silicone Maiden

Josh would start a second GoFundMe for a sex doll. Unsurprisingly, this would be similarly disastrous to his first attempt, with the added humiliation of local Casper news site, K2 Radio, on top of having it deleted. This article regarding the sex doll, sadly, remains another piece of Lost Boglim Media. At first, Josh was kind of pissed that it had been taken down, and said as much in his video “My godundme was flaged and taken down”, but ultimately came to his senses about the entire affair. For now.

Fan interaction

Josh and Homeboy Scotty would join a Discord server by the name of The Cobra Cult, and would start hanging out and interacting with fans and trolls on a regular basis. Josh would often forget he was in a chatroom, and would spend hours unknowingly broadcasting himself laughing at cartoons he was watching. Scotty would advertise hangouts before time in order to garner more attention. Scotty and Josh would also start experimenting with the synthetic weed known as Spice, and although they would never do it on camera, they would allude to using it in conversation during later videos. Concerned for Josh's well-being, fans would convince him that smoking spice makes your Cobra Jr. smaller by means of a fake news website, to great success.
Josh would also release several response videos to Castellus Zemi's anti-cobra vids, referring to Zemi as “fat fuck” and constantly mocking his physique.
The Floral Throne would show signs of wear and tear at this time in the armrests, which Josh would duct tape over.

The fake documentary(not that one)

In late autumn of 2016, a documentary about former adult video actor Sean Paul Lockhart by the name of “King Cobra” would be released. Seizing the opportunity and knowing of Josh's paper-thin ego, especially when it came to masculinity, fans would attempt to connect his name to the documentary in any way possible, leading to the video “the film called king cobra is not about me” on October 2nd, 2016.

The BC Rich Guitar Smashing Incident

for a play-by-play of this heartbreaking moment, check out the associated Incidents page.

The very next day on October 3rd, 2016, Josh would get his grubby little mitts on 5 bottles of Sprite Tropical Remix - His favorite soda from his teenage years. As the drink had stopped being made in 2005, the soda was expired, which Josh would only realize after drinking it(As the Boy's constitution had not yet been molded by the rock'n'roll lifestyle). After becoming more depressed talking about gendur relayshuns, and more enraged after eating a burger of some form, Josh would do the unthinkable: He took his BC Rich Guitar, the guitar he had toiled endlessly for by means of a paper route in high school, and in a manic rage smashed it live on camera. This was most certainly not what was up, and many fans mourned the loss of such an important cultural icon in the weeks to come.
This mood would continue for several days, as Josh would be informed that his great-grandmother had passed away 3 months prior, and nobody had bothered to tell him.

Illogical Contraptions

Josh's notoriety would expand to radio, netting him a spot on radio show Illogical Contraption. Similar to many other delusional lolcows, Josh would go in empty-handed and empty-brained, unaware that his host was routinely mocking him.
A few tidbits from this event include:

  • To a background of snickers and barely withheld laughs, the host would ask Josh what it felt like to be the best at YouTube, to which Josh would respond with ignorance.
  • The host asks Josh about his workout routine due to his impressive biceps. Josh tells the host that he does sets, but refuses to elaborate.

A monumental fumble

During this time, a fan would send Josh two tickets to see Insane Clown Posse, and Josh would go with Homeboy Scotty. Although Scotty claims he was going to hook Josh up with someone at the concert, this would come to pass. In perhaps what is the largest fumble in Josh's sad miserable pathetic life, a girl started dancing on him, but Josh thought she was just trying to move through the crowd, so he backed off. Despite this, Josh would overall say that he enjoyed the experience.

Getting rehired

At the end of the month, Josh would finally attempt to find another job. This would be a difficult task, even with the assistance of Homeboy Scotty and his girlfriend Tina. Josh would also help a pal haul scrap metal, a pal by the name of Steve. The job hunt would continue and Josh would update his fans with his woes involving online applications.
The Floral Throne would face Josh's wrath during a video in this period, as Josh took his anger out on the chair after he couldn't find his lighter. Perhaps if his lighter didn't go against the grain and stayed on the fucking desk, the throne may have survived a few more months weeks of abuse. While on lunch break with Scrapper Steve and his wife, Josh would be suggested to take a job at Taco Bell by an offscreen acquaintance of his. What would have happened if Josh hired on will remain a mystery, as the Boy would remain with Steve doing odd jobs for the time being. In early November, Josh would land an interview as a member of a restaurant as the dishwasher.

Attack of the troles

After releasing popular video “making cheasy pasta”, Josh would start turning comments off on his videos, after an influx of troll comments. This would turn out to be an intelligent decision, as the following weeks Josh would announce his intention to vote for Republican nominee Donald Trump in the 2016 election, detailing h is thoughts in the aptly named “im voteing for trump” on November 6th, 2016. This would change after Josh was told that Gary Johnson would legalize marijuanna, and summarily changed his mind at the eleventh hour. During this time, Josh would also go deep into the hair care products in an attempt to save his rapidly decreasing hairline.

Conclusion

The KingCobraJFS Story

2024/06/08 00:52 · kiwi
sagas/the_post-wendy_s_saga.1720821810.txt.gz · Last modified: 2024/07/12 22:03 by stuffedcrustfrompapajohnswithextracheeseextrabacononionsjalapenosandanchoviesdoodt

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