Original Video: Dank Pizza

This is up fellow YouTubeers So my last video I was going to get the wands delivered. I'll do that tomorrow for sure Right now it's like literally five o'clock and post office is closed. I didn't mean for that to happen, but like I got home from hanging out with the friend's house Unboxed a mail passed out for a couple hours woke up. It was almost five o'clock. I'm like whoa, hold on a second. All right Because why not? It's my money. My won business. I'm not going to spend it all on pizza. But every now and then, okay, every now and then, you have a successful won business. My answer is, why not? Why not? We have, and… Let's see we got,, 14- hand-tossed, okay, large 14 inch hand-tossed pizza with all the meats, salami, village cheesecake, beef, pepperoni, ham, Italian sausage, premium chicken. Okay, all the meats that Domino's has to offer, cheddar cheese, garlic prommerjan white sauce, double cheese, nowhere bust, okay. So I got garlic white prommerjan sauce on a large hand-tossed pizza with double the cheese and all the meats. Yes! at the goods. And you guys. Oh my god, you too, would you look at that? Large hand-tossed pizza cheese, garlic white promisot sauce in place of that tomato sauce on a ham sauce crust. Just look at that. Look at that. Look at it. Look at it. Yeah. Did they make your mouth water? Because it's making my mouth water. I'm not going to lie.. And I'm going going to lie. And I'm all watching the pizza tracker like, when's it going to get here? And then the lady showed up with the pizza. There might be spinach on here too. Because I remember, yep, there's spinach on here. Yummy. Yep there's spinach. I can see it's on here. This is an all-meat pizza with spinach and cherry cheese. Double the cheese, you know what I'm saying? On the pizza at least. You know what I'm saying? on the pizza at least. So we have a dominoes pizza, it's a large, it's hand-tossed crust, it's got that promosome white garlic sauce in place of the tomato, all meats, every meat topping they offer, with a little bit of spinach,.,, and cheesy goodness. Now we're going to take our garlic butter. We're going to take our his garlic butter and poop. We're going to smear the garlic butter on top of this delicious pizza. Because if the pizzas are unhealthy to begin with, let's make it more unhealthy. Let's make it more unhealthy because just because we can. So we got all the meats. One more time YouTube we have all the meats. Double the cheese, spinach, cheddar cheese. Now we got garlic butter. Oh look out. Lookout. Yeah, pour it all over that pizza baby. I'm not going to eat all this pizza in one sitting, that's just ridiculous. But am I going to have a slice? You bet your sweet ass burgers, I'm going to have a slice. Of course, you know me by now, whenever I order, whenever I make wands and they sell, I like to order at least one pizza with my won money. At least one pizza with my won money. And this is how I do it. Yeah. Domino's, hand-tossed, Domino's, hand-tossed pizza. Double the pizza cheese, every meat topping, white promojan garlic sauce, two cups of garlic butter, smeared on top. Double the pizza cheese, add spinach, add cheddar cheese, all the meat toppings, hand toss crust, white Parmesan garlic sauce. Oh, oh, you too. Just look at that. Look at that. Look at that pizza goodness. I got a comment people saying, man, every time I order pizza it doesn't look as good as yours. Well, I guess I'm a YouTube celebrity and they're like, this guy's probably going to show off his pizza on the internet so we better make this look nice. We're better to make this look top-notch because this guy's showing the pizza off on social media. Oh my god, look at that fresh out of the oven. Oh man, this looks so good. I want to grab a slice and just eat it right now. Now I'm not even playing. Like no words can describe… Fucking cheese is on here. See that? What is this? There's so much cheese on this pizza that I couldn't even yank off a slice without the fucking cheese coming off. You see that? That's what happens. This is what happens. You get double the cheese, baby. You get double the fucking cheese. That's exactly what's gonna happen. Look at that. The cheese came off of the pizza right when I tried to take a slice out. Mmm. Um. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. You tube? Youtub? You too! I would have got them wands in the mail today, but I took a nap after making that last video and didn't wake up till after 5 o'clock, so that's kind of my bad. But don't worry. up till after 5 o'clock so that's kind of my bad but don't worry the wands are being processed they'll be in the mail tomorrow don't even trip Domino's. A Domino's. A Domino's. A Domino's. Oh my God. Oh my God. I dropped a piece of my crust on my chair and I can't find it. That's all right. That's all right. Mmm. Oh my god. YouTube. I'm telling you right now. You go to Domino's, you get a large pizza, you make it hand toss crust, you add white promesan garlic sauce in place of that fucking tomato sauce you get every meat topping every fucking meat topping they have available you double the cheese you add spinach and you add fucking cheddar cheese huh and when you when you get it, you smear it, we're two cups of garlic butter. Two cups. Two, not one. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not one, two. Okay, two. This is how you make a fucking dank pizza. Oh my god. My taste buds are having a pizza gazum right now. Like dude, straight up, this is some bomb-ass pizza. And look at it. Look at it! He can't tell me. You cannot tell me this ain't good. Because this is bomb, dude. You cannot tell me this ain't good, because this is bomb dude. Domino's large pizza, hand toss crust, white promosion garlic sauce, all the meats, double the cheese, spinach, cheddar cheese, two cups of garlic sauce. Are you getting hungry? Oh I hope because if this is making you hungry then I'm doing my job. Look look at it. YouTube look at it. I want you to look at it. Just just look at it. Isn't that just pretty? Look at that pizza pie. Isn't that pretty? Oh, the smell. The smell coming off this pizza is just orgasmic. And it tastes even better than it smells. I would have added hot sauce, but they're like, you've reached your limit. I'm like, excuse the fuck out of you? Like, you have reached your limit. I wanted to add hot sauce on top of my pizza to complete it. But they're like, nope, you've reached your limit, Mr. So I guess once you've ordered a pizza with all the meat toppings, some double the cheese, some spinach, some cheddar cheese on top, white pomishon garlic sauce, ham toss, crossed, two garlic cups. I guess they're like, you've ordered your limit, mister, you've ordered your limit mister you've ordered your limit well okay then I was gonna spend more money at your company but that's how you feel well well well well well well there we go there we go there we go let's tear a piece off that we can eat without the cheese coming off. Oh look at that garlic butter just dripping off the crust. Yeah. Look at that YouTube, all that delicious greasy goodness. Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh. See that drip right there, all that drip or that garlic butter. Hold on. Let me. We're just getting another bite of this. Oh my God. YouTube. Words cannot express. Words cannot express how happy I am with this pizza. Like everything on, oh, everything on this pizza is screaming at me. It's saying, eat me, love me, eat me, eat me, just fucking eat me, you piece of fucking fat shit, just eat me? Hm. Mmm. Shout out to Domino's for making this bomb-ass pizza. This shit's good, ma'am. Yeah. Yeah. I can happily get down on this dude I guess I'm right now, this fucking pizza is amazing, huh? Domino, it's nice job. Oh man, I'm not a sponsor. This right here, this right here, is free advertisement. God damn that's good! I tell you what. Yeah, this order of pizza was kind of expensive, but you gotta treat yourself every once in a while. Like, I can already see how many… there's gonna be a shit ton of dislikes of this video. I don't care. Do you not care? You know, I care. Because when you get a large pizza from Domino's and you have them put all the meat toppings, every meat topping they offer. You have them double that cheese. You put the white Parmesan garlic sauce on. You have them add spinach.. Chitter cheese. You put the white Parmesan garlic sauce on. You have them add spinach cheese. You put the white pomage on garlic sauce on. You have them at spinach, cheater cheese. Oh boy we're not done there. You top on that pizza with two cups of that sweet, sweet delicious. Okay it's not sweet, it's salty, it's savory, but you have them but then you add two cups of that garlic butter. Two cups of your garlic butter right on top you too this right here this right here is my new favorite pizza from dominoes this is so fucking good you have the hand toss crust you got that white Parmesan garlic sauce you got all the meats on garlic sauce up mons my pizza I'm money you got all the meats double the cheese spinach cheddar cheese smothered and garlic butter oh I guess pizza is so good you'd slap your mama I'm just saying like shut up moms my pizza a money okay that's a bit overstating it but I'm just saying like, shut up moms, my pizza. I'm money, okay, that's a bit overstating it, but I'm just saying. I'm just saying, YouTube, I'm just saying. Like, this is good pizza. It's good for your fucking soul, man. Of course, I don't have a soul, I sold mine, but. beside the point. Like, look at this delicious pizza, YouTube, and tell me that don't look good. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to fucking hear it. That pizza looks like shit. Fuck you! This piece is amazing. They got here before the fucking pizza tracker online finished doing its thing. Straight up. Like. look at this perfect pizza before I close it up. Again, large, hand-tossed crust, white pombejan garlic sauce, all the meats, every meat topping they offer, double the cheese, spinach, cheddar cheese, smothered in two cups of garlic butter. Look at it. Look at it. You want some? You want a slice? Go ahead. You want a slice? Yeah. Grab you a slice. Oh wait. You can't reach through the screen, can you? They haven't developed that technology yet, have they? Yeah. I'm a very happy customer. This is not sponsored. This Domino's Pizza. I'm a very happy customer. This is not sponsored. This is just free advertisements. Domino's. You did a fantastic job. You did a fantastic job on this. This is not sponsored, this is just free advertisement. Domino's, you did a fantastic job on this pizza. I woke up from my nap like I'm hungry, I want something greasy and cheesy. Oh wait, let's call Domino's. Okay let me tell you something, YouTube, let me fucking tell you something. I'll only put this pizza away. Before I put the pizza away, let me get rid of the evidence. Two cups of garlic butter on top of your pizza, you can't go wrong. Hmm. I put this pizza in my kitchen for later because YouTube pizza is life. One love. One mother fucking love. You know what I'm saying? Like straight up. I love pizza. I don't care which it comes from. We have the big four…. I love pizza, I don't care which it comes from. We have the big four, we got dominoes, we got little Caesars, we got pizza hut, we got Papa John's, I don't care which one it comes from. Every last one of you motherfuckers makes a damn good pizza, so I don't want to hear it. Maybe you have your preferences you too that's just it. Maybe you have your preferences you're like well I only like pizza from such-and-such place. Okay that's your opinion dude that is your fucking opinion. That is your opinion. You like pizza from such and such, but you can't. Okay, that's your opinion, dude. I'm not going to attack you for your opinion. Because we're all allowed to have an opinion. We are all straight up. We're all allowed to have an opinion. So… Mmm………………………………………………………………………………………….!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!…!… Oh my god, YouTube, that pizza was just perfect in my opinion. I wanted to add onions and hot sauce to it, but Domino's online said, whoa there, you've reached your limits. So if I would have ordered it, if I were to call it in, they probably could have put it on for me, but Domino's online was like, whoa, they're a big spender, hold on a second. Huh. Oh man, I gotta show it off again. It's in my pocket. Boia. It's my new knife. I had a fan that sent it to me and shout out to Josh Lawyer. Shout out to Joshua Lawyer. Thank you for the new knife and for the snacks and all that. I did a fan mail video earlier, on boxing, all my stuff. And, um, I was gonna go mail off wands as soon as I got done making that last video. But I decided to take a quick nap. I'm like, let's take a nap and then do it when I get up. By the time I woke up, it was like 5 o'clock and I'm like, nope, there's no way in hell that's happening. That's all right, YouTube, that's all right. Because we'll get them wands in the mail tomorrow for sure. Like I'm all in the processing. I thought, that's just, that's not bad matters, that's me complimenting the pie maker. Um, yeah, even the lady that delivered it was like, that's quite a pizza you got there, I'm like yep You already know I like to leave a tip when I can if I can afford to leave a tip than I don't but You know I'll try to leave a tip to my pizza delivery peeps when I can because That's a real job. You busting your ass delivering pizzas. That's a real job. You busting your ass to liver and pizzas. That's a real fucking job right there. Oh, YouTube. Smoke a southern cut. Smoke me a marble southern cut. Smook me a marble southern cut right after I fucking… Eat that pizza because it was that good. Mmm. Be like… Be like……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… pizza because it was that good. Mm. be like if you're smoking a cigarette to complement that pizza, I'm telling you dude, that pizza was swinging. Like whoever was in charge of making that pizza should get a raise because that's how fucking good it was. Oh look where we got to drink off with our pizza we got some Jack Daniels old number seven and a tiny little plastic bottle, Let me do a mixed drink here. Splash Jack, we got just enough for one more soft drink. Soft my ass. Soft my ass. Okay. We got some Jack Daniels and some Coca-Cola. What do you think, YouTube That look good to you? Hold on a second Yeah Yeah Hold on a second. It's a Coca-Cola and some Jack Daniels to wash that down. Yes, that sounds like a marvelous idea. Jack Daniels, of course, this is stuff for people who are old enough to drink. If you're not old enough to drink, then don't worry about it. Just have some Coke to go with your pizza. You'll be fine. Or some root beer. It don't matter. But if you drink root beer, beef air warned. You drink root beer. You you drink root beer, you got to watch out for sneaky snake. Because that sneaky snake drinks root beer. And when you're not looking, he looks just like a stick. Snake will take a sip of your root beer when you're not looking. And lo and behold behold he goes dancing. So watch out for sneaky snake. If you got root beer, you got root beer. Gotta watch out for sneaky snake. Because sneaky snake loves root beer. Trust in belief. I've seen it first hand. That snake has a problem. I swear swear the fucking sneaky snake drinks root beer and that's all right I'll drink it trust and believe I'll fucking drink it people will watch the unboxing video like oh look at all fan mail always not getting the wands in the mail today damn it okay I'm sorry to be fair I woke up from being drunk at a friend's house and I come home and I'm like, let's do an unboxing video, sweet. I inbox all my fan mail and then lo and behold, lo and fucking behold, I decide let's take a nap before I go and send off the wands. I wake up, it's almost 5 o'clock, I'm like, nope, the buses and the post office are going to be closed soon. You're just going to have to do it tomorrow. That's all right. That's all right. Got some Jack Daniels, got some Coca-Cola, we got some delicious dominoes pizza. Life is good. Cherish it. Even if you don't have, even if you don't have delicious pizza, life is good. As Hickok 45, as famously said, wife is good. I'll admit I have my struggles just like the rest of us and when I'm broke a shit and I'm needing money nothing as much more satisfying than watching them wands so out one day flat. One fucking day flat. They're sold. I'm just like yeah man. Yeah. You should already know Gothic King Cobra knows how to order Dink Pizza. Yeah. Yeah. I don't care how tough life is. You gotta stay strong. I don't care how hard life kicks you in the nuts. That's when you get back up. You too. Stay strong. I don't give a shit how much life kicks you in the balls. That's when you get back up and like, what motherfucker? I'm still standing. I don't give a shit how hard life kicks you in the nuts. That's when you get back up. That's when you get the fuck back up. You brush yourself off and you're like what motherfucker? I'm still standing. Get some fighting spirit. Get you some fighting spirit. Get you some fighting spirit. Get that in your bones. I don't give a shit where anyone says. Wake the fuck up. Get you some fighting spirit. Kick some ass. Take some names. I don't give a fuck YouTube. YouTube. where anyone says, wake the fuck up, get you some fighting spirit, kick some ass, take some names. I don't give a fuck, YouTube. Get motivated. Get motivated. Make like Nike, make like Nike, make like Nike, and just do it! Stay strong. Only thing stopping you from you is you. Think about that. Oh and get motivated. It's a new year. It's a god-damned new year. Chance for a new you. Catch you later.